Andy and Sam

The Croom in Broome

2008-07-27T05:28:00.025+01:00

Knowing how much we love our jollies and hate working, it was high time for some adventure. So hold onto your hats dears- we're off on an epic journey right now! Exmouth, some few hundred miles up the coast from cold and rainy Perth (we have 60 days of gloomy weather a year here, life can be hard) was our first destination. The only real reason to go to Exmouth is to try your luck at swimming with a whale shark. These mighty beasts grow 5-12 metres on average, with the largest one on record measuring 17 metres! Fortunately, they are harmless to us humans and most other aquatic life as they are plankton- feeders and have a massive mouth to filter all the krill as the cruise along. They are officially the largest fish in the sea (they are sharks, not whales) and frequent these waters from March- June each year. Humans pose more of a threat to these amazing creatures as, unbelievably, they also
fall prey to the evils of shark-finning. This diabolical trade has reached gargantuan proportions and is currently one of the biggest threats to our ecosystem. For more info, go and see Sharkwater and whatever you do, do not patronise (Chinese) restaurants serving shark fin soup, or buy any other shark products. Without sharks, the top predators are removed from the equation, which is creating environmental chaos in our oceans. Sea Shepherd do a fantastic job of frightening away all the bad people who would rather earn their money slicing fins off live sharks before throwing them back in the ocean only to be eaten slowly by other fish. So, rather than send us any money for Christmas, please make a donation to Sea Shepherd instead!

Now it's still rather chilly up in Exmouth this time of year, but the good people at Ningaloo Reef Dreaming don't believe in giving you a wet suit as it can slow you down in the water when you are hot-finning after a shark. Setting out on boat, the calm water twinkling in the sunshine and the spotter plane above us, we knew we were in for a wonderous time. Perfect conditions and almost three weeks away from work! It wasn't too long before the pilot noticed a shark, and radioed the skipper. The boat then positions itself in front of the whale shark, everyone jumps in the sea and waits for its enormous mouth to loom towards you. As soon as you see it, you have to move to the side so you can all swim along together marveling in the wonder of nature.

It can be very scary waiting for something whose size you can't quite comprehend to find you. Suddenly, there she was - a 6.5 metre female, gliding majestically through the water as if expending no energy at all. We, on the other hand, had to swim as fast as our little Croom legs could go, just to keep up for five minutes. After this time, the shark was pretty much out of sight and so the next group jump in the their turn and so the cycle repeats for as long as the shark wants to stay with you. We managed to swim with her for a full hour - the maximum time the allow you by law. Lunching on the boat, two humpback whales decided to play near the boat just to add to our already amazing day. Another couple of days spent exploring Cape Range National Park, enjoying the nightlife of Exmouth (bars:2, restaurants:3, luxury accommodation:1). But really, why stay in the Novotel Resort when you can have Ningaloo Lodge complete with baby cockroaches to keep you company?

Broome is the gateway to the Kimberley region of NW Australia and lies another few hundred miles up the coast from Exmouth. July marks the beginning of the dry season in the Kimberley, making it the only sane time to visit. As the plane touched down from Exmouth, picture-postcard colours of the region - bright red pindan earth, white sand beaches and aquamarine sea struck us instantly. Established by Japanese entrepreneurs in the 1880's, Broome's main industry was pearling, and the town remains strongly influenced by it's Asian connections. Malay and Chinese joined forces with Aboriginal divers to man the lucrative but dangerous trade. Many divers died from decompression sickness as primitive dive equipment was used. The breathing apparatus consisted of a long tube leading up to the boat and the diver communicated with the boatman with a series of tugs on the rope. Many others were eaten by sharks or got Beri Beri, but somehow amongst the 400 peal-luggers, 80% of the world's mother-of-pearl originated from these waters.

Our first night in Broome consisted of us staying in yet more luxury accommodation. This time it was my doing, some dodgy backpacker place we could not escape quick enough from. So we headed straight out to Gauntethaume Point. Home to the best collection of dinosaur footprints in the world (apparently eight different types), we were more inspired by the beautiful sunset over the red rocks (see third picture) as the tide was in and most footprints obscured. We have since learnt that this spot is a sacred Aboriginal site and you aren't supposed to climb on the rocks. So sorry about that. Also sorry about the bottle of wine and cheese nibbles consumed in celebration of the next leg of the holiday...

Broome is famous for it's iconic white sand Cable Beach. It is actually closer in proximity to Indonesia than any other Australian state and it's sense of isolation is palpable. A must-do is a sunset camel-ride and a must-have photo is the camel train plodding along the beach. Our camel was called 'Rusty,' a wayward creature who didn't like to be stroked (as he was likely to give you a nasty nip) and he did a lot of wailing. So we trotted up and down the beach for an hour, with some poor girl whose job it was to pick up all the camel poo as we went along (bare hands!)

An annoying couple on the camel in front insisted on trying to stroke Rusty, even though they had been told not to with his biting history. I was envisaging the beast becoming enraged and throwing us to the ground in a hilarious but deadly episode of Death-by-Camel-Toe, but all he did was grind his big yellow teeth. Andy almost came a cropper as he was dismounting as unruly Rusty tried to stand up. He managed to regain control and Rusty received a sandy carrot as a treat.

We then headed off in our 4WD camper on our roadtrip. First stop was Cape Leveque, on the Dampier Peninsular (4th picture). Most of this remote region is Aboriginal Land and you need to have permission to be there. Within half an hour of leaving Broome, we found ourselves in the outback. The red, corrugated unsealed roads took some getting used to and driving on them can be quite hazardous. Being the organised (read paranoid) types though, we had about 60 litres of water, two full tanks of fuel and enough food to feed Rusty for a month.

I know I might have a natural tendancy towards drama, but you do still hear of people being found dead in their vehicles, having run out of supplies! Good job we had our satelite phone (scarily complicated to use, would have been no use in a proper emergency), on loan and a couple of mobiles with no reception. Before long we encountered a dead cow lying in the road, it's stomach contents spilled all over the road and in a sorry state of decomposition. Thus began our 3,500km roadtrip, interrupted only by the need to return to Broome to go to the ATM! All that organisation and we hadn't even thought about bringing any money with us. Oh dear...

Derby is famous for it's enormous baob 'prison tree,' used as a lockup for Aboriginal prisoners en-route to The Old Derby Gaol (photo 7). The tree is thought to be over 1,000 years old and measures 17 metres round. Derby also marks the start of the notorious Gibb River Road, a track so lumpy and bumpy, only 4WDs are allowed. Baob trees are synonymous with images of the Kimberley. Found also in Madagascar and Africa, the trees store water in their massive trunks to see them through the dry season. According to Aboriginal folklore, the tree formed too high an opinion of itself, which made the gods angry, causing them to pull the tree out of the ground and throw it back in upside down.

Baobs are used locally for shelter, food, water and medicine. Approaching the prison tree, I noticed a small fire in the bushland nearby. By the time we had taken several photos and had conversations surrounding imagining how horrific it might be to be locked inside a tree in the desert heat with a load of snakes, the small fire had progressed to a massive bush fire (photo 5). It made a very eerie backdrop with lots of crows circling the scene, smoke, red earth. I felt quite eager to escape the scene, rather that be left burning in the middle of a fire, but it seems we had to get sufficient footage of the incident before moving on.

The Kimberley is gorge country, and an area of astounding natural beauty, with each gorge presenting very different geological features. Windjana Gorge, and Tunnel Creek offered our first taste of the gorges. Tunnel Creek is a 750m-long passage which is pitch-dark in places. You have to take a torch and there are bats, so the wade through the icy water is quite scary. This is croc territory, so you have to be careful as some gorges have saltwater crocs ("salties,") i.e. the dangerous ones, some have freshwater crocs ("freshies") i.e. the harmless ones and some have neither. And if you can't see them, it could be that they are waiting on the waterbed for you! Windjana is home to hundreds of freshies, some of them quite big and menacing-looking. Beautiful Bell Gorge (above, right), fortuitously tranquil and devoid of tourists on the way in... shame we encountered a bus-load of Americans on the way out.

Mornington Wilderness Camp had come highly recommended and so we luxuriated in a two-night stay! Normally we move on each and every day, which can be pretty exhausting as you are either driving or walking. The main excitement of Mornington is the presence of a bar, something quite rare in these parts. When I say luxuriated, I mean we stayed in an eco-camp, devoid of flush loos, sat absolutely freezing on a small stool listening to a Sandy Toksvig-lookalike talk about the importance of saving shrews and promptly gave myself food poisoning from a dodgy kangaroo steak. We both ate the same thing, but of course I had to have mine blood-rare and we were cooking by crappy torchlight, so it could have been crawling with maggots for all I could see. Next morning I was feeling rather weak, but my husband being of a caring nature made us go out on a canoing expedition through Dimond gorge (above). Cruising up the mirror-still water, I soon got over myself and we had a great day. All the driving had taken its toll on the van, though as we discovered a flat tyre the following morning. Andy did a great job changing the tyre and the mission to get organise a spare only altered our course slightly.

This gave us the opportunity to take a flight over the Mitchell Falls from Drysdale Station. Personally, I had more fun experiencing life in the outback than I did on the scenic flight... there are some strange people who choose to live in absolute isolation from the rest of the world. But the beer was cold, they had a spare tyre and they were a very friendly bunch, if a little scary. Andy was in his element, humming the tune from Deliverance at every opportunity. Not the best way to make friends.

Beautiful Galvans Gorge (left) proved to be a hidden beauty and revealed our only glimpse of Aborignal Rock art. Nestled underneath a stunning waterfall the safe swimming hole was only really safe if you pretended not to notice the spiders sitting in massive webs over the water. Of course, I'd left my bikini in the van and was boiling hot so had to swim in my pants. We then got chatting to an old couple who were, surprise surprise from Brighton. Of course I couldn't exit the water until Andy had finished his 40 minute conversation with them as I was partially-clothed, but perhaps I shoudln't have been so prudish as the old boy stripped off completely and dried himself in front of us! This is when the training comes in handy and I managed not to drown with fright, having seen many such beauties in my time. I'm sure Kununurra would've been nice but we were so tired by this point, it was all we could do to collapse in the campsite with a bottle of wine and our books. The Mirima National Park remained unexplored and we conserved our energy for the final leg of the tour...

The Bungle Bungles, within Purnululu National Park is probably one of the biggest drawcards of the region. The orange-striped limestone domes stand in their thousands and resemble huge beehives. They are the result of millions of years' weathering and are one of Australia's most distinctive landscapes. A World Heritage Area, the grey and orange bands are the result of iron oxide and blue-green algae. We had been told that the road to Purnululu was horrendous, but we weren't to be outdone. Our bushcamper van was tiny for living and sleeping in, but did the job required on the pretty awful unsealed roads. So while it was only a 52km journey, it took us 3 hour to reach the national park.

A series of different walks take you to the main sites; Echidna Chasm, Cathedral Gorge, and Piccaninny Gorge. The Mini Palms Track, featuring tall palm trees protruding from sheer rock faces and dramatic scenery. Termite mounds are a feature all over the Kimberley and are seen clinging in precarious places over the Bungles Bungles. Weaving through the tight crevasses of Echidna Chasm, where the steep walls obscure the sky, we wondered if Purnululu might have been better observed from the sky, just to appreciate the size of the place. There was much excitement to be had when Andy spotted a large snake in the road. Closer inspection revealed it to be deceased, the victim of a hit-and-run escapade. Referring to our invaluable Snake Guide, I decided it was a non-venemous, much to Andy's disappointment.

The disappointment continued when it became apparent that the 7 hour side-trip to Wolfe Creek was not going to be possible due to time constraints. But really, it would have been far less a terrifying ordeal than spending the night at
Halls Creek. The campsite was totally feral and lacking any green at all. We only stayed there because we were too knackered to drive onto Fitzroy Crossing. There we were, sat wrapped all cosy in our sleeping bags watching a film on the laptop, when we became increasingly aware of a disturbance in the park next door. There was a huge row going on and lots of barking feral dogs. It was kind of distracting as we were trying to watch the film, but the ranting became louder and louder. Next thing we know, a group of blokes start throwing stones into the campsite and for some reason seemed very cross. We locked ourselves in the camper and turned the lights out to observe a young bloke running for his life past the van. It turn out they had been taking photos of some locals having a fight. I mean, and this had started all the drama. How stupid can you be?!!? Suffice to say, we were very glad to leave Halls Creek bight and early the following morning, even if we were camping next door to a bull mastif and an old feller who owned a double-barelled shotgun!!! After a few more gorges thrown in for good measure it was thankfully time to return to Perth for a good rest. Next time it's 5* luxury the whole way and I am doing the planning!

Surfing in Lancelin

2008-07-22T15:06:00.000+01:00

Hi all, yes we've survived the Outback and have been back swaning about Perth for 3 weeks now. I'm gonna have to relay holiday vids and photos another time, but heres a nice high definition vid of us and our mates doing some surfing, well actually its our mates Dan, Helen, John and Gisele doing the surfing, cause it was too cold for us to get in the water, but we do appear in the vid, I spent the whole time taking the video with John's camcorder and he edited it. It might play a bit slow on some connections, cause it's high def footage, so patience...

Surf School at Lancelin from John Eustace on Vimeo.

Oz Tv

2008-06-10T10:03:00.000+01:00

After a hard day in workhouse Australia, my wife and I retire to the drawing room to peruse the local Tv stations. As at home, there's a lot of crap on, but here there's even more. We don't watch tons of telly, but what we mainly end up watching are British shows. Kitchen Nightmares, BBC documentaries, there's one on at the mo called Wild China, which is pretty cool, Ladette to Lady (Genius). There's not a lot of good Oz-made Tv, everyone seems to love a program called 'Good News Week', which is a rip off of Have I got News for You, but without the humour, I've actually been accused of not understanding Ozzie humour, but the sad truth is that its too mild for me. When they show films here, which is most nights, they fill them full of adverts, at least every 15 minutes, it drives you mad. They have got the weather here, but I'll take good old British Tv back any time. In watching all those adverts, we've spotted an absolute corker and I don't know if its on at home, so at the risk of becoming Chris Tarrent, please enjoy this little beaut :)

West Coast Eagles

2008-06-05T14:32:00.002+01:00

Winter has officially arrived down under and is thankfully nothing like it is at home. It is certainly raining more, usually on a Wednesday night when I play Tennis...but the sun seems to be out fairly often and it remains tee-shirt weather...in winter!!
With the arrival of winter comes AFL, otherwise known as Ozzie Rules Football. Its been running for a few weeks now and I've made a vague attempt to follow the fortunes of Perths 2 sides, the West Coast Eagles and the Freemantle Dockers. Both teams are playing like a bag of shite and are routed to the bottom of the table, Freemantle have won 1 match out of 10, although htis 1 match was against the Eagles and being a derby win counts for alot in bragging rights. Perth (Eagles) have won 2 games and I was fortunate enough to have attended their second game and bring them some good old fashioned Pommie luck. My mate Joel had season tickets and took me along and was good enough to answer my foolish Pom questions throughout the game.
Its a game of 4 quarters, each about 25 minutes long and about a 20 minute break at halftime. The pitch is a massive oval shape, a fair bit bigger than a normal footaball pitch and there are 18 players a side. Their is a goal at either end that has 4 posts, the 2 middle posts are the main goal and you get 6 points if you kick the ball through them, however if the ball hits a post or goes through the other smaller posts then its 1 point. You can chuck the ball to each other, but you have to punch the ball, whilst doing this anyone can tackle you. You can also kick the ball with the object of kicking it to a team mate and him catching it without it touching th pitch. If this happens, its called a 'mark' and the player cannot be tackled and so had a kind of a free kick. Yes it is a bit confusing, but like most thigs, pretty exciting when watched live. Theres a crowd of 40,000 and a decent atmosphere to boot.
One of the stranger things about the game, is the sheer amount of people on the pitch at any one time. 18 players a side, then 3 refs + I think 2 linesmen, also and this is odd, at any time in the game 'Runners' can come onto the pitch, 1 a side I think and just have a chat with the players, you know give them a bit of encourement, pass on some tactics, very wierd. When a goal is scored, loads of people run on the pitch to dosh out water and its just gets plain silly. Oh and its quite violent as well, some decent punches and shoulder barging going on :)

Before I go, another thing that has returned with the coming of winter, is whales!
I love a whale me and its one of many brilliant things about this country to enjoy. There we were having a nice stroll along the beach, on our way to get some beer and oysters at a bar, a bar called 'The Oyster Bar' on Port beach, near Freo when we noticed some funny black fin shapes and alot of splashing. Only about 150 meters off shore were 2-3 Southern Right Whales lolling about, slowly cruising along, how cool is that??!!

I love my Life and I love my Wife!!!!

2008-04-06T11:06:00.001+01:00

Yes it's true, life is great (I'm not including work) here, the temperature has cooled by a few degrees and now we're not sweating constantly, which is nice. I seem to have developed green fingers and have turned our little patio into a mini garden center, after going to a Chilli festival and ended up buying 5 chilli plants, I've also added a tomato plant, corriander, rosemary, parsley, mint, oregano and a roquet plant. Each day I water them and demand that my tomato plant produce tomatos, but still waiting, the chilli plants have gone mad and we can't eat enough of them!
We've booked up our winter holiday, we're going to the Kimberleys in June, this is where Wolf Creek is and loads of incredible scenery, we're also stopping on route to swim with a Whale Shark, at last!! It looks like we're staying here for a couple of years at the mo and so we're planning on visiting the Uk for Xmas this year, can't wait to see you all!
Here's some recent pics of us at the Zoo :)

PS: Have been doing some Remixes of Josh and Roger's new band 'This Mono Galaxy', you can have a listen here, any comments welcome!

chem7 (me)

This Mono Galaxy

2008-02-14T00:15:00.000Z

Our fortunes in OZ seemed to have changed for the better and we are now both having a rather spiffing time. Inbetween Tennis, the Gym, getting down with the kids at Krafty Kuts, weekending down south visiting the Wineries, flopping about on the gorgeous beaches of Perth, checking out the Surf action, climbing artificial rock faces theres little time to write the blog, so a few words and some pics might suffice.
Been having a great time remixing Josh and Rogers new 80's pop hits 'This Mono Galaxy' which you can have a listen to here, the original mucis that is.
Also on a musical note, this is the Krafty Kuts Remix of Bitter Sweet Symphony, mmmmm, its lovely :)

Happy New 2008

2008-01-10T00:51:00.000Z

Happy New Year to you all. Hope you all had a lovely Chrsitmas. It goes without saying that we missed you all dearly, but fortunately we were unable to dwell on this issue as it was 45 degrees on Christmas Day and Boxing Day was 46. That's centigrade, making Perth officially the hottest place on the planet at that time! Having only experienced 42 degrees before, that little bit extra does make a difference, believe me. Horrific, it even hurt to breathe. But we had to join in with tradition, so on Christmas morning after opening our prezzies, we headed to the beach wth our new friends (see, we can do it) Orla & Lucy for champagne & strawberries. Yum. At 9:30am it was already packed, so everybody could bag some shade and set their picnics out. I was the Designated Driver, an honour which was to prove fairly short-lived. So Andy got quite drunk. By 10am he was leaping into the sea as if he weren't scared of cold water and frolicking with strangers wearing santa hats.

After a few hours of chilling out and reading my Harold Shipman biography (a festive treat!), we headed over to another friends house for a Barbie. Hilary & Matthew are very nice people because they have lived in Brighton. They have just bought a lovley house, but in keeping with the rest of Aussie society, it's in the middle of nowhere and getting there involves some planning. Especially since I'd ditched the whole driving idea by now and decided I needed wine to survive the heat. So we walked to the station and then had to walk to their house from the station. That's a 30 minute total walk in 45 degrees with a drunken husband who kept laughing at me for being so hot and bothered. After passing several skeletons along the side of the road, we got there absolutely dying. I collapsed with a bottle of wine and two rather perky Burmese cats, while the boys actually went OUTSIDE to BBQ! By this point, the outside temperature had reached 47 degrees and with everybody caning the A/C across the city, several hundreds of homes had a power cut and were without electricity for a few hours. Can you imagine?!?!

Boxing day we knew was going to be just as bad, so we headed for the beach and just stayed there all day. Andy isn't one for sitting in the shade, so we just kept running into the sea every 20 minutes to cool off. It's probably the best place to be when it's that hot as at least there is a breeze, which the locals call the Freemantle Doctor. Our Christmas prezzie to ourselves was our car. I was so excited to finally have a means to go exploring, as so far we've only been away for the day once since we arrived here 3 months ago.

So I let Andy have sole control over the project and off he went. He decided to buy a little Dihatsu Charade, which turns out to be an apt name for the thing. He bought it for $2,000 (our last $2,000) from a 'very trustworthy' doctor who was returning to Sri Lanka after working here for a while. We had it a week and it seemed fine running about town- until we took it on a longer venture. We were heading South to Cape Naturaliste and were almost at Bunbury when I said "I can smell something funny." At about the same time Andy said "Shit, the temperature gauge is on red!" and about now, we saw smoke and steam billowing from the bonnet. As we pulled over onto the snake-infested roadside, we could actually hear the water boiling in the radiator. I truly believed the thing was about to explode and knew instantly we had made a grave error. I swear you could even see spiders sat in their humongous webs abut 20 metres away, just waiting for something like this to happen. Andy, the eternal optomist said we should just wait until it cooled down. Me, knowing we were doomed, said we should just call the RAC and be done with it. It was at this point I realised Andy had used the last of our drinking water to fill up the radiator. I mean, what sort of madness leads to such foolishness! Has he not listened to a word Bear Grills has said?

Several rows and about an hour later, it seems evident that the car isn't cooling down, so we call the RAC man. An old lady who is quite clearly a serial killer stops and gives us some water. Obviously the water was poisonous, so I only had a sip and then the RAC arrives and says he can either tow us back to Perth at $3.5/km or, we can try to get back ourselves, which in his opinion, he seriously doubted we could manage. So of course I am persuaded to try drivng back. We stop every half hour to top op the cooling fluid and miraculously we make it back home in one piece. Five hours later and all we have seen is the kangaroo sculpure at Mandurah station. My optimism is shattered and Andy has to take me to see Ratatouille at the open-air cinema to calm me down. It worked temporarily, but now we are waiting for the car to be fixed. The head gasket has blown and apparently the cylinder has a big crack down it which had been subjected to a temporary welding job, so it turns out the good doctor may have been pulling a fast one after all. On the plus side, my husband now has muscles.

Rottnest

2007-12-16T06:09:00.000Z

Rottnest Island, or "Rotto" as it's known round here, is a tiny car-free island, dotted with secluded tropical bays. It's only 19km offshore from Freemantle, so it's a popular weekend getaway for locals. It measures 11km by 4.5km, so getting around by bike is the only way to see the island properly. The journey has been long-awaiting as the school-leavers or 'schoolies' have been in residence for the past couple of weeks and aparently it's a terrible idea to go anywhere near this time as it's just one big teenage party. As we boarded the ferry in Perth with our mountain bikes, a couple of dolphins were swimming right next to us in the harbour, waiting for the dolphin-cruise to depart.

A Dutch Explorer called Willem de Vlamingh claimed discovery of the island in 1696, and named it "Rat's Nest," due to the large population of what he perceived to be enormous rodents. They were actually quokkas, which are very cute little things which look like a cross between a wombat and a tiny kangaroo. Some of them are very tame, but there are often report of people playing "quokka soccer" with them but now they are protected which is good as they are very cute. There are somewhere between 8,000 and 12,000 on Rotto and populations are found in the forests of the mainland.

There is actually evidence of Aboriginal occupation dating from 7,000 years ago and from 1838 until 1920, the inhabitants of Rottnest were Aboriginal prisoners from the mainland. The island is still a sacred site to the Noongar tribe as hundreds of their tribe died there. The prison cells are now hotel rooms which are supposedly haunted. There are a couple of other places to stay on the island, but most people camp out. So while there is very little to do on the island apart from cycle aound and admire the views, it's a very relaxing place... or it would be if it weren't for the flies!

The flies in Australia are totally rank and are presnt in their millions on hot days. They come in from the desert and head straight for your mouth, nose or eyes, deperate as they are for moisture. You might look ridiculous wearing a fly-net, but they are a bloody good idea all things considered. Otherwise, the diving is supposed to be good as is the swimming and snorkelling so we'll get round to that one day soon. There a several shipwrecks which are shallow enough to be viewed snorkelling but you need a boat to access them.

After catching the ferry back to Perth in the evening, we went in search of a quiet drink along the Esplanade. However, our search brought us to the Lucky Shag which was full of Sunday all-day drinkers and I disovered to my horror that on my way to the toilet, someone had vomited into my bike helmet. Unfortunately, although I'd done a rough clean-up of the situation, I still had to wear the helmet home!

Not that we got very far home, because we saw a throng of people gathering for some open-air event in the park by the Swan Bells. As it was free, Andy suggested we stay to listen to Symphony in the City. This necessitated us buying more beers and lying down in the grass with more people than I thought actually lived in Perth. It was very pleasant anyway and I think I fell asleep, having had a great action-packed weekend. It's such a shame anybody has to work.

Surf's Up

2007-12-02T01:25:00.000Z

Hello Dears! A prolonged silence from this end means I can justify a ramble and a chunter without any rudeness from the readers. Several of you have been very busy with having babies and/or bringing up existing babies. A big congratulations to Suze & James on the arrival of Joe ("a nine stoner") and to Jamie & Hazel for producing Evie, who I know enjoyed our skype episode last week. How bizarre seeing each other all these million miles away... you looking all pasty and blissfully happy and us all brown and knackered with it being way past our bedtime. Bring on more skype. Baby Nell continues to be gorgeous, as does my lovely neice Lily who was had her first birthday recently. Happy Birthday Lily!

I think our problematic journey into migrant workerdom has been well documented by my husband, so I won't focus on all the problems we've been having since we arrived. I'm over being a whinging Pom, things are on the up. So to combat the homesickness, we've been making the most of sunshine and the outdoors lifestyle which is the Aussie way. Our first consistently good week since we left home 8 weeks ago began with our very first surfing lesson. Our friend Dan and his girlfriend Helen, decided to take us out and introduce us to the waves. Baby waves, he said. I just wanted to look cool, so I went along even though my back was killing me. The day before I'd had a hardcore massage from David Beckham's physio when he played for Real Madrid!

You see tons of people strolling effortlessly down the beach with a board slung under their arm. Let me tell you, there is even a certain degree of talent required here - especially when you are half the size of your board. So I had to have my board carried for me (not cool). We then did a bit of practicing jumping up on the board on the beach. If you're just starting off, Dan said you should just get onto your knees (again, not cool). Next thing, we were in the water. At least some of us were, Andy was doing his embarrassing thing of getting into the water slowly by splashing his chest gingerly with water to get 'accustomed to it.' Luckily, we had leg straps for the boards, otherwise we'd have been a few boards down by the end of the day. Then you lie on your belly (more tricky than you'd imagine) and wait for a wave. When a nice one comes along, you start paddling (see demonstration) and then try to stand up. Andy was actually quite good, but I'm not sure I really got it. It was much more fun just staying on your front without even attempting to stand up. Trouble is, the waves are pretty powerful and I learnt a valuable lesson - don't turn your back to them! One minute I was just stood in the sea chatting when Dan looked worried and said "hold onto your sunnies!" This massive wave came and dumped me. This basically means the wave forces you under and spin you around a few times as if you're in a washing machine. You have to push your board out of the way or it could knock you out and the whole business is less than pleasant! I lost my sunnies and had salt water pouring our of my nose for the rest of the day, which was quite invigorating. After that I felt a bit wobbly so took to sunbathing instead. We then spent the rest of the day chilling out on nearby
Cottesloe beach, which has to be our favourite spot. A perfect, lazy weekend.

Andy being knocked over by a wave...

Climbing the Walls. . . :)

2007-11-30T12:59:00.000Z

Literally at the end of our road is a big, wall climbing facility. I've started going there with my mate Dan from work who's not long been going himself. James took me climbing in Shoreham earlier this year which was a really good first taste for it, so its wicked to have a place so near me now.
The walls are probably about 10 meters high, which is easily high enough to make me whimper like a girl once I've reached the top and have to let go to be brought safely down to earth by Dan. For those of you unfamilier with climbing, there are ropes strung from the ceiling dangling down the wall. You both wear harnesses and attach yourselves to a rope. One person climbs whilst the other person stays at the bottom and keeps the rope taut, so that you can't fall.
It's all good fun, even though it's indoors, I feel like I should be outside constantly here. I've yet to persuade Sam to come climbing, I think I'm on a losing battle here :)
I finally got round to seeing Perth Glory yesterday, Perths useless footy team. They're bottom of the league and have won only one game all season and luckily for me managed to win their second game yesterday! They were playing Melbourne Victory and yes, they've all got shite names, probably the worst being 'Queensland Roar', I wish I was joking...
$25 (£11) gets you into the ground, not a bad price, there were about 8000 or so people there, which was a reasonably full stadium and a pretty good atmosphere. There are seated and terraced sections and you can go and watch the game from almost wherever you want. The actual football isn't exactly Premier league standard, but it's ok, a few beers and the added bonus of cheer leaders during half-time made for a thouroughly enjoyable match, especially as we (I'm a Perth supporter now ) won 3-1. I managed to video the second goal for your perusal, quite a nice effort.

If anyone fancy's a chat online sometime, then download Skype from here and if we're online at the same time, we can wave and pull faces at each other via the magic of full screen video link broadband. We are often in (and online) between 9am and 12pm UK time, email me or Sam for our Skype contact info.

Perth Glory v Melbourne Victory :)

Life in Perth so far...

2007-11-18T01:04:00.000Z

Yeah I know I haven't done a blog update for ages, but life gets in the way as you know. We've been getting used to life down under and its not been a bed of roses by any means, but I think its getting better. We've been in our flat for 3-4 weeks now and have started getting a few pics up on the walls and its actually feeling like home a bit more now, as opposed to an Ikea showroom / warehouse. Work is better too and for those who don't know, was a real pain in the arse to start with and still is quite a bit, but the more I think about it, the real problem is that its nursing and thats the crux of the matter. We're both doing a job that we don't like anymore and that's obviously harder to do when you've moved to the other side of the world. It's definately time to start a new career, but what?? The nurses at work are mostly very nice and we've been invited out several times by some of them. Alot of the Dr's are dicks and that's the least harsh word I could think of. They're a very old school bunch and seem to think nurses a hinderance more than 'part of the team'. I was shouted at on almost my first day for daring to pass on a message, arsehole! You can't believe the rudeness of people, we've nick-named him 'Bad Santa' due to the beard. When you're scrubbing with this particular Dr, he doesn't even say hello to you. There's another one who Sam introduced herself to saying 'Hi, I'm Sam, I'm new here'. To which he replied 'Congratulations, Well done'. Tw*t! Sam later shut a door in his face. That's work then, oh yeah every single peice of equipment is different to what we're used to, making you feel like you've never nursed before, but it has improved a fair bit since we started there.
On a positive note, life otherwise in Perth is pretty nice. The weather is glorious about 98% of the time and I winge like a proper pom if the sun isn't out constantly. We've both joined a really nice gym which is located in Kings Park, a massively gorgeous park in the middle of Perth. It's my first experience in a gym and so far it's good, I've joined mainly to get into Tennis and Squash and have my first taste of Tennis booked up for tonight, it's called 'Rusty Raquets' I can hear Flan laughing now :) I seem to have gone a bit fitness mad, I think it's something about Australia that makes you have to get out there and exercise. I've even been wall climbing, there's a climbing place just down the end of our road, you would love it James.
We've been catching up with a few people we know from Brighton over here, Sarah Dawes (Baggy) and her hubby Mark and son Evan, have been living over here for about 5 years and life seems to have been treating them very well. Also on holiday over here were Cassie and Adam from the County, we went to the Northbridge festival on the Saturday they were here. Northbridge is the suberb where we live, so it was literally round the corner from our house. They'd set a stage up in the middle of the road and had various bands on, it was fairly lame as 'festivals' go, but headlining was none other than DJ Kentaro, mental mixing man from Japan, his set was bonkers, he was virtually scratching with his tongue, really, really wicked stuff. I've posted a little vid of the start of his set, theres quite a few vid's up on Youtube of his stuff, which you will also find frequently adorning Alex's blog :)
We've been going to the cinema a fair bit too and I don't know if it's been on in the UK yet or what, but '30 Days of Night' is the scariest film since 'The Descent'. Vampire action at its most terrifying ;)

DJ Kentaro - Northbridge, Perth.

30 Days of Night Trailer.

Here's some pics of our little flat :)

Diving The Maldives

2007-10-11T06:33:00.000+01:00

Before we arrived in Oz, we went to the Maldives on our honeymoon and happened to do a few dives.
Here's some of the best photo's I took whilst diving in the Maldives. I mainly took films this time and I've cobbled them together in the video below. The diving was absolutely amazing, I even managed to persuade the wife to join in. The diving is exceptional, due to the very diverse nature of the fishlife in the Indian Ocean. We saw sharks and Rays pretty much every dive and I was lucky enough to see a Manta Ray and a few Hammerheads. I wasn't able to get any great footage of the hammerheads as the dives were at six in the morning and so the lighting was that good. I was just as excited seeing the small critters as I was the big stuff too. There were some great little shrimps about and you could watch them hanging out with giant Mooray eels, giving them a clean.

Hope you like the pics and vid! The music is Under The Red Sea by Lost Tribe off my Deeper Shades of hooj Vol. 3

The Blog is back :)

2007-10-07T11:24:00.000+01:00

Finally, after months of boring you all with our talk of leaving England, we are off! We are now migrant workers, living in Perth, Western Australia, for one year, employment commencing scarily soon (tomorrow). It seems that married life is all about having fun. If only someone had told me. In just a month, we managed to squeeze in an amazing wedding, two weeks diving in the Maldives, followed by a UK tour to say our farewells to family and friends and now this! There were a few tears, especially upon leaving Hel, Margo & Olivia – our dear housemates, but as we made our way through the rain and grey of dismal London, at the start of our torrid journey to Singapore, we felt sure we’d made the right decision. Well sort of sure...bit concerned about the clothes shopping possibilities in Goth-addled WA.

Singapore was as we remembered – a well-ordered but essentially boring, pretend country. There were only two things on our agenda though – have curry, go to zoo. This time, we stayed in Chinatown at a little place called the Inn on Temple Street, which was quite acceptable and rather posher than Little India. Trouble was, it was so hot and humid, and on top of the jetlag, this put is in quite a turmoil. Following a lovely sleep next to a Sumatran rhino, we ferreted around Orchard Road trying to haggle over camera prices and ended up buying nothing. If anybody remembers how Andy suffers with jetlag, I’m sure you are feeling my pain - potentially another fortnight of moaning.

After 3 days, which was rather long enough, we journeyed onto Perth. The 5 hour flight was quite bearable but the timing meant another night without sleep. Not to worry, we thought, as we’d be in a nice comfy bed soon enough! At the risk of sounding like whinging Poms, our initial misfortune in Perth has lasted all week! It all began as we checked into The Hostel. At about 50 quid a night, it was pretty expensive considering what we got out of the deal. We had an agonising 4 jet-lagged hours before we could check in so went on a zombie-mission looking for estate agents. No joy in the housing department, we scuttled off the bed.

The Hostel is directly located on the railway line, it has a tannoy system which conveys messages straight into everybody’s room at all hours of the day, and it is infested with bedbugs. Andy has been bitten quite a lot and believes the ropey-looking duvet to be the culprit. I knew there was a reason I didn’t go near it. So there we were, atrocious with exhaustion and in a 20 minute period, there were 6 Hi-de-Hi announcements, several trains and a cleaner breaking-and-entering. Two boil-washes later, we happily left YHA Perth City for the lovely Emperor’s Crown! Onwards and upwards...

We are now living in a temporary apartment, and by the end of the week, we hope to have found something more permanent , but the rental scene here is quite problematic. Apparently house prices have shot up in accordance with the mining boom, so there is huge demand for rental properties. Still, everyone we have met so far is really friendly and helpful. The bloke in the mobile phone shop said “ah, you too are just so cute,” and laughed at us a lot for not understanding what he was saying. When Andy asked if we could top up our phone credit using a cash-point (sorry, ATM), the bloke said he’d heard of such a thing but never seen it in reality... Ah, the future! Consequently, we were charmed into buying two new (very cheap, quite rubbish) mobiles and we have Aussie bank accounts but are still of no fixed abode.

In one week, we have viewed 10 properties, and out of that has some one hopeful and a couple of not-too-terribles. Fingers crossed!!! You basically phone lots of estate agents, nobody answers their phone and if they do call you back it's to tell you when the property is to be viewed. This is a torrid process, as there is no limit to the number of people who can turn up. One place we went to see had 37 of us busseling for space! Many of the flats are in the middle of nowhere, some are infested with snakes and many have rude and hideous estate agents showing you around! One old crone even started swearing about how overworked she was and that nobody worked as hard as she did for as little gain.

On a more positive note– the beer is sold in Pints in Perth, not pots or schooners or some other daft and feeble measure, and is icy cold. The weather is beautiful – crisp and sunny, and today we had a smashing barbie in Kings park.

Mr and Mrs Masters :)

2007-09-01T15:59:00.000+01:00

More pics soon...

Plans...

2007-03-05T00:49:00.000Z

A new laptop and the installation of broadband means that the blog is back, for a bit, well certainly for this update anyway. It seems a real effort to blog here in good old England, but I'll attempt to keep it going a bit more consistently this time.
Lots of planning is the norm at the house of Flanagan these days, a house that was to be a very temporary home, has turned into a home till October, when hopefully, we'll be winging our way back to Australia. Yup, we've just not had enough of the old travelling lark and we loved the west si-eed so much, we've gone and (fingers crossed) got ourselves jobs in Perth. We'll be working in the Cath Labs at the Mount Hospital on a years contract. Will we stay longer? Who knows is the answer to that, it's all very well travelling round a country and loving it, but working there away from family and friends is another thing. There's several months of hanging around waiting for paperwork, visas etc to sort themselves out before we go, so in the mean time we've been organising a wedding and when I say we I obviously mean Sam, mainly. The venue has been booked, the evening do sorted and all manner of other key items have been bought or ordered. We'll be having our ceremony and meal at Blanche House, a very cool, hip hotel for groovy people such as ourselves and then we're off to the newly refurbished Hanbury Ballrooms in the evening for a bit of a dance and possibly a spot of making box shapes before the night is out. We went for a meal at Blanche House last weekend to road test the food and its amazing, its looks beautiful and tastes gorgeous, phew, here's a pic of the chocolate cake and ice-cream pud I had mmmmmm.
Enough of the plans for the moment, exciting as they are, more waffling from me soon, here's a video of Margo, one of Helen's sausage dogs or the Dachshund Defenders as they're known around here. See the way she shakes the tennis ball about, that's what she did to a massive rat the other day, snapping its neck, what a dog!!

ruby 2 shoes

2007-02-10T14:10:00.000Z

I’ve been trying to write this blog for ages, but keep being thwarted by various things. The number one culprit is my computer, which is currently sitting in the ‘Geeks on Wheels’ office, hopefully being fixed. It’s actually the first time ever that I’ve had to have a pc repaired, I can sort 99% of problems out myself, but when the nature of the problem means you can’t even log on to Windows itself, I have to hold my own nerd hands up and call in the Uber Nerds. I’m having to resort to internet cafes and if I’m honest, I can’t be arsed to do that too much.
The misery of being back in England is thankfully declining and we are both now starting to climb out of the pit of despair in which we have been wallowing for the last month or so. So what have we been up to? About three weeks ago now, we paid a visit to my sisters to celebrate Ruby’s second birthday and that’s why there’s an inordinate number of photos of an insanely cute little girl on our blog. Rachel has spent a year teaching Rubes our names and now she can confidently say ‘Andy and Pam’ : ) Current favourite words include ‘two’ and ‘mine’, as she wanders around the house, she’s forever pointing at items and then saying ‘mine’. Still as long as she doesn’t grow up to be materialistic : ) If you’re wandering why she’s dressed as some kind of Viking, it’s because we paid a visit to the Museum of Sheffield. Not the first place you would think of visiting admittedly, but it’s a great museum, especially for kids, its very interactive, full of buttons to press and clothes to dress up in. One of the funniest / most disturbing exhibits is a gnarly old lion called ‘Joey’. Ruby has become quite taken by this flea bitten, hundred year old thing and marched around the museum chanting ‘Joey, Joey, Joey’ until it was time to go. I blame the mother. The museum visit was all part of the birthday celebration which of course included a lot of present opening. I am in two minds about presents for very young children, the cruel and logical side of me says why bother? They’re never going to remember it, so why not save your money. Luckily for Ruby, a dance mat style piano, a la Tom Hanks in Big was on hand to save the day and even better, it was annoyingly loud, as a little treat for Rachel and Joe too. It’s funny what kids pick up from their parents. Rachel and Joe are obsessively tidy and if a crumb falls to the floor, it is swept up instantly. Watching Ruby unwrapping her presents it was funny to see her tear a strip off and place it carefully on the ground, then another strip and another, all laid immaculately in a pile. I can see the OCD coming, a mile off : )
As you can see from the pics, she is indeed the happiest kid on the planet and this is largely due to the brilliantly knitted poncho that she received, courtesy of Auntie Pam. Samantha’s knitting is progressing exponentially and she has recently finished a very cute pair of baby booties, very complicated they look to, three kinds of stitch involved I’m led to understand.
More news from the homeland soon.

England, sweet England...

2007-01-31T13:57:00.000Z

Returning to England in January after a year away is quite possibly one of the lowest points in my life so far. There are a lot of factors at work here involved in my despair and actually some of the time, I think its good to be back. I realise I’m not in Darfur, Iraq or some of the other more horrifying places on the planet to live, but England with its grey skies, its air of aggression and the general hectic ness of life, is pretty intense at times. Adding to my blackness has been a massive bout of jetlag, which lasted a week or so and then just as I thought I was getting over that, a nice, big cold with a thoroughly enjoyable dry, tickly, hacking cough has come to stay. Great. On top of all of this my mind has been full of weighty decisions that have to be made in the very near future. Where should we live? Brighton? The outskirts? Somewhere else in England? Australia? When we’ve decided where to live then we obviously have to find the right property and potentially get a preposterously, sickeningly large mortgage. Possibly £200,000. Gulp. Oh and then organise a wedding, and reproduce. Yup its finally time at the age of 35 that I have to do ‘adult’ things. Did I mention that we start back at work tomorrow? No? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
So you see, I’ve been a trifle out of sorts  The biggest come down ever after the biggest party ever I guess. If I haven’t been very good at getting back in contact with you all then hopefully you’ll understand where my head is at and rest assured I’ll be back to my normal self shortly.
On a positive tip some things are good to get back to. Seeing everyone after so long has been very, very good indeed. and its extra specially good to be staying in Helen’s luxury house till we get our act together. Hanging out with Hel, walking the sausage dogs, doing a bit of cooking and lounging about has been just what the Dr ordered. Also nice is to be able to watch some good old fashioned British Tv and see some damn good films too. Last night I finally watched the whole of The Hostel and almost as good as watching the film, was watching Helen cowering behind a cushion as she tried to avoid seeing daft Yanks being tortured. Getting my computer back up and running had been great and after 3 days of trying to make my synth work, it now does and it’s been f**king brilliant to be making some music again! I’ve not done anything concrete yet, but just getting back in that musical saddle again, remembering how the software works, has all been good. I’m using Acid Pro 5 and Fruity Loops currently, although as soon as I’m hooked up on broadband again, I think I’ll be grabbing Acid 6 from somewhere and seeing what number the latest Cubase is up to.
Walking around Brighton I've noticed alot of new graffiti here and there and very good it is too. It's good to see some nice art work adorning the shabbier bits of town, mind you London road is still a shit hole, oh yeah, you can swear on my blog now if you want Alex ;)
More thoughts from me coming to this blog soon.

Return to Blighty

2007-01-14T00:41:00.000Z

The last two days of our stay on Rarotonga have seen the sun reappear, like some kind of tease and have also led to the discovery of a goat that has a center hair parting, in fact, exactly like Jamie used to have, many moons ago :)
We went to 'Island Night' at a local bar and were surprised to discover that unlike the many huge Polynesian specimens on display around the island, this night featured some of the more lithe, younger Cook Islanders who danced away to the furious drumming of their elders like it was some kind of Pacific rave. The drumming was so good, I bought the CD and intend to sample it to death and then sell it to the highest bidder, Mwah ha ha!
We've just returned our faithful moped to its owners and are about to settle down for a final bout of suntanning at the pool before we get on the plane tonight. The moped was great, I love riding them, especially not having to wear a helmet, it's one of life's simple pleasures. It of course brought back memories of riding about Vietnam and the rest of South East Asia, brilliant days!

That's it. That's really it. The final blog of our year away, it seems like it's been, ooh, a year long and at the same time, like no time at all since we left. What a year it's been for us, quite simply the best year of our lives. It's pretty hard sitting here trying to articulate the words to sum up all the different experiences we've had that have made this year so incredible. The highlights of the trip for me have been many, but the standouts, never-to-be-forgotten moments would include:
Getting engaged: You don't forget that kind of thing in a hurry and I think I found the most perfect spot in New Zealand for it.
Japan: I'm still blown away by that place, except for it being a bit cold at times, I couldn't fault anything about it. Tokyo is a city of dizzying contrasts and excitement that I'm really looking forward to exploring again, I could bang on and on about everywhere we went and how good it all was, but I spent a month doing that last January, I even enjoyed hanging out with Alex, Eremi and Ant!
Borneo: Another amazing country. The wildlife there is something else, seeing Orang Utans in the wild and walking through the jungle was superb.
Sipadan: The best diving of my life, jaw-dropping, breath-taking underwater experiences that will live with me forever.
The Gibbon Experience: Being terrified as a storm raged around us in a tree house 50 meters off the ground may not sound fun, but something I would recommend anyone to do, absolutely mental :)
Western Australia: What a surprise, that Oz would be such a great place. Especially Western Oz, outstanding scenery and wildlife made for an unforgettable time.
Angkor Wat: 40 degree temperatures were pretty hard to take, but we sweated our way round the worlds biggest temple for 3 days and it was awesome.

In fact almost every day was outstanding, some days we actually rowed (I know that's hard to believe), some days we just spent washing, interneting, at the post office, but even then it was good, because we weren't at work and we were doing and seeing things that the majority of people will never do. Travelling, how I hate that term, but travelling none the less, is probably something that I should have done years ago when I was just a lad, I'd have probably spent the next decade continuing to travel about, but I feel that being a cynical, wizened 30 something year old has made me really appreciate even more everything we've done. It's a year that when I'm on my death bed (if I'm in bed), thinking about my life and what I've done with it and hopefully they'll be a lot more time yet to fill with family, friends and other amazing experiences, but it'll be one of those things that I'll look back on and be satisfied that I really lived my life in that period.
Well that's it folks, we hope you've enjoyed our blog as much as we've enjoyed writing it, I know its tough, but you'll all have to get back on with your lives now. If it's any consolation we'll be back in your lives in good old England come Monday morning.
A massive thanks to everyone who put Comments on our blog and who sent us emails, we love you guys :)

We're coming home :)

Paradise Lost

2007-01-12T02:37:00.000Z

The penultimate blog of our year away, I can't believe its all but over. In 4 days time we're going to be touching down in sunny England and the magical place that is Heathrow, mmmmmm.
The last few days have found us doing very, very little again, this time not because we've been lazing about in the sun, but because its been raining. Raining solid for the last 4 days. Its been pretty much the longest 4 days of my life, cooped up in our little bungalow, reading, playing a bit of PlayStation, knitting ( a lot of) moaning about the weather (aren't we always) and then escaping the tedium of the day as night falls to go out to a restaurant. Yep I know we're not at work and I know we're not freezing in England, but Rarotonga is officially the most boring place on the planet .... when its raining, there is literally nothing to do, so why have I stuck a photo of a lionfish on the blog. The day before the heavens opened on us I went diving once again and once again Sam pulled out at the last second, claiming that the rain the previous night and the clouds that morning would spoil her experience, these days our Samantha will settle for nothing less than perfection. The dive company have subsequently banned her from diving with them as she keeps cancelling at the last second :) The dives were very pleasant, the visibility pretty good and a reasonable amount of fish about to keep my interest up, Rarotonga isn't the Barrier Reef, but its not the English Channel either.

Some of the boredom of the last few days has been lessened by meeting some very nice 'normal' people. It's typical, you go away for a whole year, meeting tons of people along the way, the majority turning out to be fools and then right at the end you meet some genuinely nice ones. Namely a couple of Scots, Ronny and Alison and all the way from Bristol and er Macclesfield, Chris and Amy. We've been hanging out at various bars and restaurants these last few nights, escaping the rabble at our guesthouse and generally having a marvellous time. We look forward to meeting up for some more beers with you guys in a nice cold, smoky pub in England!
We're off to 'Island Night' tonight to watch some preposterously fat Polynesians dance and sing for us, Hoorah!
Final thoughts coming to a blog near you very soon.

Just Read: The Pilo Family Circus by Will Elliott - Psychotic clowns, Jamie you would love this book!

Listening to: Aphex Twin - Drukqs

Lazy Melts

2007-01-06T00:50:00.000Z

At this stage in the game, we have become extremely lazy. Given our year of ultimate excitement and doing, I have reasoned that this is acceptable behavior. We've been here for a week (possibly?) and so far we've done very, very little. The first 5 days were spent pool-side, listening to the youngsters at our hostel talk a load of boring drivel. All that 'where've you been, where you going next?' which seems to be the standard format for every interaction when you're on the road. By day five I was feeling somewhat mental, the cabin-fever at an almost intolerable level. But as the island had been shut for 4 days over New Year, there wasn't much we could do about it. The knitting reached prolific heights, even in the heat and severe humidity. It was time to get mobile. We went on a mission to find a moped. In the Cook Islands, you need to acquire a driving license before you hit the road, or at least that's the order in which you'd assume things to go. So out we went, got the bus into 'town,' hopped off to find the police station. Three police stations later, it was discovered that no, you have to hire a bike first, drive to the police station and THEN sit your test. A very hot and sweaty mission it turned out to be, especially as there weren't any drink-selling shops open. You could have bought black pearls (big business over here) all over town that day, but not a bottle of water in sight. Finally, the next day, three bike shops and another couple of bus journeys later, Andy was sitting his test. This involved going 100 meters down the road in a big group with a very grumpy policeman in pursuit. Eventually, after a bit of a wait and a prison-photo, we had a moped.

Hurray! We could now escape the confines of Rarotonga Backpackers. It's actually a very nice little place and quite cheap (not that I want cheap, but apparently the luxury boutiques are out of the question 'at this stage.') The pool is tiny but provides adequate wallowing facilities. Much more interesting and tropical though, is the beach. It's your classic stereotype of a south Pacific Island... palm trees, white sand, warm 27 degree crystal-clear sea, dotted with big mammas and the occasional snorkeler seeking out sea-cucumbers. A delicacy in Asia and Rarotonga, you bite off the head and suck the spaghetti-like innards from inside while it's still wriggling. It's not all bad though, because if you throw them back in the sea, they will regenerate new insides and become whole again. Mmmm!
Snorkeling is pretty special, with numerous large pipe fish, pufferfish, butterfly fish and boxfish.

Slightly annoying though, is the ever-menacing trigger-fish, our well-known enemy. This time it's the prevalent Picasso triggerfish which is the nasty one, it's main aim in life to take chunks out of holiday makers in the name of protecting their territory. Evil. Andy went on a couple of dives this morning, but I did my usual trick of chickening out at the last minute. There were two factors at play in the brain - 1. I'd had absolutely no sleep after we'd had to move out of our bungalow and into a tiny double room which offers no solitude from the backpacker crowd 2. There's been a massive storm during the night, and I was a bit scared that the visibility would be rubbish and it would be choppy out. Apparently I didn't miss much as we saw more snorkeling yesterday, even though Andy did his first wreck dive.

One of the most striking things about Rarotonga is the numerous colourful graves dotted about. Usually, relatives are buried in the back garden of local houses, but there are some enormous graveyards as well. Since the missionaries arrived here in 1821, Christianity has played a big role in island life. Some people even go to church as a tourist activity, but this is mainly because everybody gets a free lunch afterwards! So, zooming along on the moped (40 minutes to go round the whole island!), you see these colourful sights, churches, signs for posh resorts (mercifully hidden from my view), locals heading out wearing bright shirts and a flower tucked behind their ears. Behind the left means you're single, behind the right indicates you're taken for). Quite often, you have to swerve to miss the odd piglet or chicken, but as the speed-limit is 40 kph (20kph in the town!) this doesn't pose much of a problem.

Cook Islanders are Polynesians, closely related to the Maoris of NZ and Tahiti and first settled here around 1500 years ago. The Europeans landed a 1,000 years later and in 1773 Captain Cook spotted the islands, but didn't actually land on Rarotonga. He then went on to meet his demise in Hawaii where he was stabbed to death in 1779, and William Bligh one of his crew went onto lead the infamous Mutiny on the Bounty a decade thereafter. The missionaries brought lots of nasty diseases with them like smallpox and dysentery which wiped out a few of the locals at that time. They did a good job of stopping the practice of cannibalism though, a torturous method involving skewering the victim on a spear and then barbecuing over an open fire so as to remove the hair and cuticles. Then the body was steamed in an underground oven and shared equally amongst the tribal warriors. The most prized cuts were the thighs and the intestines and the women weren't allowed to join in. Today, there are 14,000 laid back, friendly Rarotongan inhabitants, ambling along with 16,000 pigs! It's so laid-back it's difficult to stand up sometimes and in this heat, there seems little point in exerting oneself unnecessarily. One week to go, maybe we should do something tomorrow?

Currently drinking : Vailima, a Samoan brew with a nice label.

Currently Reading : The Crow Road, by the inimitable Iain Banks.

Worst Film of the Year : Eragon. An unsurprisingly dreadful tale about a dragon written by a 17 year old (you can tell).

Best Film of the Week : Marie Antionette. A film about lovely frocks and cakes.

The Cook Islands

2006-12-29T03:19:00.000Z

Welcome to the Cook Islands and the middle of no-where! In fact the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Here's a confusing tale of time for you all. We flew on Saturday 30th at 2pm from New Zealand and landed in Rarotonga, the largest of the Cook Islands, on Friday 29th at 10.40pm. When we woke the next day, it was Saturday the 30th all over again, which made that particular Saturday, the longest Saturday of my life, literally. When we left New Zealand, we were 13 hours ahead of you guys and now we're 10 hours behind you, so while you were all celebrating midnight and 2007, we were sunbathing by our pool at 2pm New Years Eve! How weird is that? Answers on a postcard, even though I know how and why, I'm still confused :)
Rarotonga is 32k in diameter and takes 2 hours to ride around the whole island on a bike, apparently. The island is surrounded on all sides by a reef which looks amazing and will get some pics up soon. There are about 15 islands that people live on in the group, but probably loads of other smaller ones too, Rarotonga has a population of about 18,000, but you see very few people walking around, one of the other islands I saw in the LP, has a population of 2 :)
Since we got here 2-3 days ago, the most we have done is get our lazy bums out onto the sun loungers by the pool, the only exception was last night, New Years, when we managed to drag ourselves to the beach for some late night drinks. It was a very pleasant affair, me and Samantha, some cheap fizz and the odd hound, Sam has indeed now started making friends with dogs again. It was pretty cool sitting on a beach in the South Pacific, something that dreams are made of really and here we were living that dream, kinda weird :)
Happy New Year to you all and we'll see you in 2 weeks!!!

"Rotorua smells like Manure..."

2006-12-26T04:04:00.000Z

I hope you all had a splendid Chistmas. We missed you all terribly and even though we were in Rotorua, a city famous for its geothermal regions and it's strong sense of Maori culture, it was still a bit lacking in something essential without the ones we love (you know who you are). But we couldn't mope around for long - we had to inventively bring a bit of magic to a deserted holiday park! My fab prezzies were a tub of my most favourite Ginger Souffle body cream from Origins (how I've missed you) and a book about knitting for thickies (apparently previous projects have been too adventurous). Santa brought Andy a Japanese comic and a couple of DVDs. Our families also donated us lots of money to the ever-dwindling hardship fund. Many thanks to you all !! 5* luxury in Rarotonga here we come!

Christmas morning was spent at Te Puia, one of the largest geothermal parks in the area. Unfortunately, the craters, fumaroles, bubbling mud pools, spewing geysers and volcanic mineral deposits weren't quite enough to impress Andy, who I could tell was already awaiting the Maori concert with trepitation. We wouldn't have normally gone to such a tourist-fest, but it was included in the entrance fee and is a good way to see an example of a kapa haka, or group performance. Andy anxiously said that we had to sit at the back to we weren't picked out to get on stage with any scary warriors. As would follow with these sort of affairs, one of audience had to volunteer to be our representative and greet the warrior who was brandishing a large spear. This tribal Polynesian ritual dictates that the host will challenge the visitor and lay down an offering such as a leaf before him. The visitor whould accept the leaf whilst maintaining eye-contact, to indicate that he somes peacefully. Whakapapa, or genealogy is a very important aspect of the belief system. Maori belief states that we do not just present an individual being, but with all the spirits of our ancestors in tow. Once inside the marae, or meeting house, speeches of welcome are made and then the musical and dancing performances begin.

The Maori, being the indigenous people of Aotearoa (NZ), first arrived in voyaging canoes from Hawaiki, their ancestral homeland some 1,00o years ago. There are legends about almost everything in New Zealand, but the most well-known are those about Maui and the origins of the country. It states that he caught the North Island of Aoteroa from the sea with a giant fishing hook. If you look at a map of the North Island, it resembles a fish, the far North being the tail of the fish and Wellington representing its mouth. The South Island represents Maui's canoe and Stewart Island was his anchor. Traditional Maori arts and crafts are practiced throughout the country, most notable fantastic wood, greenstone or bone carvings, in typical designs such as the fish hook (in keeping with the legend) and the Hei Tiki, a fertility symbol. Weaving and moko (tatooing) are also still widely practiced, which in my book is cool ("keeping wool alive"). While it is customary for men have their whole face and body covered with amazing designs (including their bottoms), female moko is more usually seen to cover only their mouth and chin area. Quite possibly the coolest tatts around.

Just because a bloke with a funny beard and rainbow sandals was picked to represent us, this added fuel to Andy's fire. He then had to greet each member of the other tribe by doing a hongi (ie. pressing noses twice). This is the traditional greeting which means sharing of life breath. I suppose that could have a down side too. Thus followed half an hour of traditional song and dance which involved a fair amount of Poi. This time it's cool though, because we're not on a Thai beach and they could do it properly. Fully relieved for the ordeal to be over, Andy marched us off to commence dinner preparations.

Despite our fear, the caravan park was totally devoid of other people on Christmas day. We sat there in the desolate campers kitchen with enough food for a Hangi, feeling guity about the lonesome man who sat with a bread roll and a banana while we merrily made our way through a bottle of cava, a fancy bottle of red and several Tuis. The dinner was monstrous hybrid of flavours including, but not exclusively, olive and sundried tomato stuffing, spicy red cabbage and lamb shanks. So it was us and the bread-roll man who actually turned out to be a jolly nice and decent Aussie.

After we'd made a right show of ourselves, we rolled into the hot tub where we sweated off the booze. An unforgiving and sobering moment occurred when my camera's self-timer went off twice. The photo immediately following this poised scene, was one of my stomach and thighs climbing out of the tub towards the camera. Now that's something that no girl post-Christmas lunch should ever see. A couple of DVDs later, it was time for the second best thing about Christmas dinner - Christmas dinner leftovers. Thus ensued a fitful nights sleep littered with nightmares. I dreamt I was so fat I looked like Anne Diamond and had taken to wearing an enormous jumper. That's what happens when you go to bed stuffed.

Boxing day was attempt to get my fiance to appreciate all this natural power and raw beauty. 20km south of Rotorua, is Waiotapu. Having been here before, I knew how amazing the colours were and how totally otherworldly the place felt - like being on the moon. So here we were, on a baking hot Boxing day, wandering through clouds of hot sulphurous steam, trying our best to stick to the narrow pathway with our hangovers fully intact to prevent being boiled to death in the 90 degree water, and he still wasn't having the time of his life. The amazing colours you see here are formed due to the different mineral elements such as suphur, iron oxide, carbon and manganese. Mr. Mounter would state that all these elements are "the most abundant in the earth's crust," well they certaily are here. The water is so hot in places (upto 300 degrees C in parts!!) that the minerals are leached from the rocks, transported through to the surface as steam where they are absorbed into the ground. The whole place totally stinks of rotten eggs, due to hydrogen sulphide spewing about all over the place. Wai-O-Tapu, meaning 'sacred waters,' covers 18 sq km of surface land, and dates back 160,000 years. The park sits on the edge of the largest volcanic caldera of the Taupo region and the stream water is heated by residual magma from previous eruptions.

Traditionally, the waters were used for cooking and the mud for bathing. It's therapeutic properties were recognised many moons ago and can help alleviate aches and pains associated with arthritis and rheumatism. Indeed, rickety souls around in the early 1900's could test this hypothesis at the The Rotorua Bath House, a hospital / spa, eager to cash in on this economy. But it all went quickly wrong when, after a few years and great investment, the sulphurous elements began to destrol the metal pipes and very quickly it became a dank and mouldy place falling to pieces (ooh, sounds familiar, RSCH). It now stands as a museum and has lots of interesting and bizarre exhibits and the treatments on offer. The mud is still used in Rotorua's hospital today for similar conditions. Not being upto more heat and eggy vapour, we laid down in a park by the lake and fell asleep for the afternoon. Well, I didn't as I'm currently heavily involved with the wool project of the week - another scarf (very safe).

We did pop to Christchurch for a couple of days before all this volcanic malarky, but I wasn't really in the mood for taking photos in light of recent news from home. This city, which has a palpable British air with it's cathedral and punting down the river Avon seemed quite pleasnat, apart from the disasterously wet weather. In fact, all we managed to do was to see my old friend Helen. Actually, she's not that old, but she is indeed very lovely. We met at Uni before she had the good sense to escape our ridiculous course. She now lives in this fab country with her bloke Bruce and they picked us up in the POURING rain, for a comforting evening of roast dinner, champagne and stories of the good old days. Much fun was had dissecting our course-mates personalities (that bit was mainly me, I have to say) and Andy says I did a lot of talking in general. Even for me. Well, it's been about 10 years, so there was a lot to say. They have a beautiful house by the beach, but we couldn't see this due to the driving rain. It was like staying in a posh boutique hotel, where the towels are all rolled up neatly. We even had a goody bag containing mince pies and sweeties! Truly, it was great to see Hennals with her new hair!!

A frightening ferry journey across the Cook's Strait, saw swells of 4 metres. Luckily, the day before it had been over 8 metres and the whole affair took about 8 hours of sheltering in the Marlborough sound rather than the intesded 2 hours. People were vomiting, children were green, but we were OK though we had to sit separately as the ferry was packed. All we do now, is wait for our flight to The Cook Islands - our final destination. Where has the time gone?!?!?!

Festive read of the week : Schapelle Corby : My Life ( The story of the Australian caught with narcotics and now serving 20 years in an Indonesian slammer - the only crime she is guilty of is having the greatest chav name in history).

Festive Campaign : Justice for Schapelle!

Festive Film of the Week : Kiki's Delivery service - a Japanese animation about a trainee witch and one of the many spur-of-the-moment Christmas presents to Andy.

The Routeburn Track

2006-12-24T05:37:00.000Z

Before Christmas came and went, we had one last adventure in the South island.
We love walking so much that we decided to walk some more, in fact another 36k along the Routeburn Track. We' ve now walked about 100k around New Zealand, which for Sam, is more than she has driven in our campervans over the last three and a half months :)
The walk that everyone wants to do in NZ is the Milford track, in fact its so popular that its booked up in advance for months and so we couldn't go on it. Our second choice was the Routeburn track, a walk that takes you through forests and alpine mountain ranges and in many peoples opinion is actually the more scenic of the two tracks, as for much of the Milford, you are walking in a valley, not up in the mountains themselves. Having learnt our lessons from the Abel Tasman walk, we got ourselves kitted out with brand new rucksacks, took along some decent grub and I made sure I had a good book with me and Sam, as her OCD dictates, took her knitting.
The Routeburn track starts about forty minutes bus journey from Glenorchy, which is itself about an hour from Queenstown. Arriving at two in the afternoon we set off into a forest and gradually headed uphill, along the way spotting three mice and a small parakeet, not all at once you understand. We emerged from the wood into the valley you see above, surrounded by high mountains and had a snack before continuing our climb. Rounding a corner in the forest we came upon a man holding some shears. This was either a Psycho about to murder us or a Ranger clearing shrubbery from the path. Luckily it was the latter and he accompanied us on the remaining short journey to our first hut, the Routeburn Falls hut. Along the way he picked some leaves from a bush and said a lot of travellers ate them, saying they tasted a bit like chocolate. I nibbled the corner of one, but thought it tasted weird, so spat it out, Sam said to him she thought they might be poisonous which of course he denied, but we were then convinced he was actually a Psycho Ranger, the third option that we had forgotten. The Falls hut had a great view of a valley and the mountains and a waterfall just behind it. We ate a Tuna salad with dressing that we'd pre-made, much nicer than space food. We crashed out in the bunk room which was basically, rows of bunk beds and this time there was no hanky-panky to endure, it was very cold though and we didn't get much sleep. The next day found us climbing once again up through a valley and onwards through the mountains. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the scenery got better and better as the day wore on. Lunchtime brought us to a day shelter next to the beautiful Lake Harris, which as you can see had an amazing green colour around the edges. After another quality salad for lunch we decided to climb Conical Hill. We'd been told that morning that the hill walk was closed due to two sections of snow, one of which if you slipped could lead to a rather nasty fall. However lots of people were still doing this section of the walk and the views at the top of the hill were meant to be spectacular so we decided to go as high as we could without taking too many risks. The first section of snow we came to was very steep and we carefully made our way up it digging our feet in deeply as we went, fashioning our own stairs out of the snow. It must have been about a hundred or so meters long, but straight uphill. After clambering up some rocks after that we came to the second section of snow. This was the dodgy bit and you could see that if you slipped and couldn't stop yourself, you would plummet down the side of the mountain to your possible doom. Sam decided on staying where she was, but I had to continue, so close to the top I had to see the views. Taking it very slowly and carefully, really digging my feet in, following previous walkers footsteps I inched my way up to the top. In fact it was fairly easy in the end and when I got to the top I was rewarded with 360 degree incredible views of the surrounding mountains. You could even see right down to the Tasman sea. I knew Sam had to see it, so I went back down to get her, but she had already decided to come up and so I met her halfway. It's definitely one of the best landscape views I've experienced in my life, up there with Yosemite (USA), Sapa (Vietnam), Western Oz (the whole of) and the views of Mount Cook and Tasman here in NZ. Getting back down the mountain was a bit trickier. The first and more scary section proved the easier, the second section involved Sam going at a snails pace and me slipping and sliding on my bum and then coming back up again to help Sam and then Sam telling me off for not helping her :)
We spent the afternoon walking along a track that ran along the side of the mountains looking down on a valley on our way to the second hut of the journey. The second hut was situated at the bottom of another valley by a lake called Lake Mackenzie. It was another picture perfect location to spend the night at. The lake was gorgeous and at time almost mirror like. Some nutty types were having a quick swim when we got there, the water must have been about 10 degrees! Another hut, another mad ranger, who gave us all a fire briefing in the style of someone who has always wanted to be a stand up comedian, but who instead is someone who spends far to much time in the woods...alone. For those of you interested in camp cooking ( I don't mean gay cooking Alex) we had instant mash with Mexican beans and salami, again miles nicer that space food. Apart from bringing better food, we also brought condiments in small snap lock baggies. Salt, Pepper, Chilli flakes and grated cheese were some of the little 'luxuries' that made everything taste much better.
The last day of our walk saw us strolling a mere three hours through a wood. It had turned into a bit of a crappy day and we were pleased to finally get to the third and last hut. We camped out in the hut, virtually the only people there, me reading and Sam knitting. Our peace and tranquility was spoilt somewhat by an exceedingly annoying Scottish mother, who began ordering people around as soon as she entered and ended up filling the hut with smoke, setting off the fire alarm, as she ordered some hapless bloke to light a fire with wet wood. Nice one. Finishing the walk the next day we were collected by a bus for a visit to see Milford Sound before being taken back to Queenstown later that day. Milford Sound is the most famous tourist destination in NZ. It's where the boat journey in the first Lord of the Rings film was filmed and is the first of about thirteen fjords that stretch down this bit of the west coast, surprisingly its called Fjordland. Unfortunately the weather was shockingly awful, rain, mist and low lying clouds meant that the dramatic features of the Sound could hardly be seen and so the best photo I took was this one of Sam :) Getting back to Queenstown was great, it's the nicest town we've been in NZ, so beautiful, but after another day there we had to get going to Christchurch over on the east coast. On the way there we drove past Mount Cook again and this time saw it spectacularly mirrored in another lake. I've never seen anything quite like it. Stunning!

Currently Watching: Grey's Anatomy

Listening to: Cinerama - Va Va Voom

Happy Christmas!!!!

2006-12-24T04:57:00.000Z

A massive amount of general waving and screaming from us to you all as we say:

Happy Christmas!!!!!

We've just arrived in Rotorua, possibly one of the world's smelliest city's. It's not me this time, it's the sulphurous pools and springs that abound in this area. We've checked in to the always great 'Top 10' camping ground and just been to the supermarket to get our Xmas lunch, Lamb shanks, mmmmmm! The fridge is full of fizzy white wine, Tui beer and a bit of space left for some snags for a barbi. The weather has picked up and we're back on the North island again hoping for a sunny Christmas, the first time I've ever hoped for that! We're gonna go see the volcanic action Xmas morning and then its dinner, followed by a dvd and a mince pie (cheers Helen). It's all looking good, even the Toon won yesterday. If you want a festive laugh then check out Cut-thumb's Xmas blog, it does contain some cursing though :)
For those of you worrying about our upcoming date with the military coup in Fiji, worry no more, cause we've changed our flights and we're off to the Cook Islands instead.

Hope you all have a great day wherever you are, we'll be thinking of you (some of you) in our own special way. Here with her own Xmas message is the cutest girl of them all......my niece Ruby!

The Best Grandad...

2006-12-20T01:48:00.000Z

In Memory of Tom Croom Senior

1920- 2006

You will be forever missed
Thank-you so much for all of it...
XXX

Queenstown

2006-12-17T03:36:00.000Z

My word, it's great to be back in Queenstown! This and the surrounding regions of Fijordland and Otago were my favourite destinations of last trip, and I was relieved to determine not much has changed in 4 years. Well, if you brush over the fact that the population has now doubled to 7,000 lucky inhabitants and there is now a Louis Vuitton shop for all those chavvy ski-types. Winter-time (that's July/August ) attracts hords of snow-seekers for boarding and skiing whereas in the summer time (about now) it's just as busy with crazy kids looking to jump out of planes and off platforms attached to a bungy. The original AJ Hackett bungy jump is a short distance outside of Queenstown and is basically a platform extended from the Kawarau bridge. You tentatively hop to the edge of the platform with an elastic bungy strapped round both ankles as you pluck up the courage to jump over the edge as the Shotover River cascades below. Last time I was here, my mate Paul was brave enough to have a bash, but opted out of the one where they give you a slightly longer bungy, meaning you get dunked in the water aswell. Sensible bloke.

Not fancying any slipped discs or retinal detatchments, we opted out, but it's very entertaining watching other people go through the experience. One bloke was giving them loads of grief, and generally not taking the safety advice being offered about ensuring his arms broke the impact of the water, rather than his face, so they dunked him right in upto the waist - twice. He was so angry, but the blokes and all his mates were all loving it. The alternative, much more terrifying option, is to jump the canyon option. this doesn't provide you with the psychological reassurrance of jumping over water. Oh no, this one is straight over rock. Oh, and it's 134 metres high, compared to 43 metres, resulting in over 8 seconds of freefall!!!

The best and most accessible view of Queenstown is gained by hopping on the gondola (that's a cable car to the rest of us), swinging about over the pine trees and jumping off at the top. Then you get a nice crash helmet and you sit on the ski lift, giving you plenty of time to waffle a load of nonsense to detract from Andy's acrophobia (film).

The view (film) over the Remarkables mountain range and Lake Wakatipu is utterly stunning. Paragliding seems to have taken off in a big way which is a new development, but much more affordable passtime is the Luge. This is where you get to wear a crash helmet and play Super Mario Carts down a winding track in a go-cart, either absorbing the wonderous view or just trying to get down in one piece. Of course once is never enough and we had four goes each, using the advanced track each time as the scenic one was closed. You can really wang it down and I seemed to reach the bottom first every time. Andy's excuse was that he was taking photos but I think he could have been a teensy bit scared.

A fun-filled first day was topped off withe the delights of a pizza at Winnies (it used to be called Winnebagoes), which is a Queenstown institution and watching the new Bond film. I must say, I'm struggling to understand everbody's obsession with Daniel Craig. I think he looks more like a Gingerbreadman with muscles and a pout (always pouting). Just as I struggled to fancy Colin Farrel who, quite frankly, looks like Kevin Webster with attitude. It will always be Johnny Depp for me (after Andy, of course). I digress. Beer of the moment is Tui, a sort of beer/lager hybrid which is very tasty in a Christmas-cake kind of way.

To top it all off, we're staying in the best campsite ever. It's one of the Top 10 chain which Jess & Joe stayed in for most of their time in NZ and it's very cool indeed. It's got a lovely bungalow with a massive kitchen, bathrooms and a sitting room which you can use and pretend that you have a house of your own rather than a rented camper.

Glenorchy is a tiny village near Queenstown which is extremely pretty but with nothing much to do (apart from Funyak down the Dart river, but look what happened last time). In fact, it has all the beauty of Queenstown and shares the majesty of The Remarkables, but with none of the crowds. I did meet this rather lovely sheep. I talked to him about my new love of knitting and was about to get my needles to that overgrown coat, when he turned around to show me his bottom and it became apparent why nobody wanted his three-bags-full.
Baaa!!!! Suze and I are on a joint crusade to keep the WI arts alive in the 21st century. While she does the preserves and the cakes, I do more cakes and knit like it's going outta fashion (oh, apparently it did).

Many more days were spent in Queenstown, chilling out and preparing for our next adventure. In the meantime though, we needed something to get the adrenalin pumping. The Shotover Jet (film) is a bit of a must-do when you're here. With the help of a powerful engine and a mental driver, you are zipped through the Shotover Canyon at great speed, turning at the last possible moment to avoid the canyon walls. Dressed attractivley in a lifejacket and waterproof Harry Potter cape, we prepared to be terrified. It was pretty good, but not actually that frightening... until the back of the boat (where we were perched) made a terrible noise and I turned just in time to see a piece of boat fly off into the water. Luckily it didnt hit anyone and didn't seem to be an integral part as we kept on going. Several 360 degree spins were demonstrated and we all got a bit wet. NZ$200 for 25 minutes of moderate anxiety - money just flies through your hands in this country.

Some of the things I have most treasured about travelling are the lessons you learn along the way. Sometimes, complete strangers can instill you with a nugget of wisdon which will serve you for life. Take this unassuming girl for example. Not one word passed between us, but the lesson was loud and clear: Just because you can get it on, it doesn't mean it fits you. I mean, didn't she feel a breeze? What not to wear in NZ - now I'm sure I could knit her a decent pair of pants...

Film of the century : The World's Fastest Indian

Totally magnificent. You will cry the whole way through and want to marry Burt Munro... 10/10 - Mazza was right.

Currently Listening to : Lali puna - Tridecoder

Project of the week: Keeping wool alive.

Lily May

2006-12-17T02:50:00.000Z

Here she is!!! I'd like to introduce Lily May Croom to the blog! Born around the 19th of November (hard to tell with the 3 day labour and the time difference), my neice is a little flower and we can't wait to meet her! Lou did a fanastic job and looks amazing considering the constant feeding demands. Lily gets pretty hungry too, which means they haven't slept for about a month. I can't quite blieve that my little brother is a Dad, but that shirt is helping my brain with the transition. So, Auntie Sam has begun the knitting project in ernest. The preliminary Pootle-hat I made very badly for Andy has honed the necessary skills for tiny clothes.

Knitting is my new obsession and there are currently three projects on the go. It's a good place to learn with all this gorgeous wool around and there are an abundance of old ladies in wool shops just desperate to give a handy tip or two. Coming soon to the Croom household is a small pink hat. If the pom-poms fall off (again), I will blame the Kiwi sheep. Soon to follow is a jumper which should fit her when she's 14 and a scarf for some lucky reader, depending upon the quality of the end garment. The knitting patterns you can buy are very exciting, ranging from greengrocers with carts full of vegetables to dinosaurs. Guess what everyone will be getting every year from now on?

Another newcomer to the blog is my Nan. Margaret McGregor is an avid reader so it's about time she had a mention and a photo. Hi Nan - can't wait to see you again soon. Time you were putting up your Christmas decorations isn't it?! Those three bits of tinsel and the frosty bells come out every year and always look top-notch. It's been a good year for increasing the population of Britain. Another baby I can't wait to meet is Gene Alexander Best! A very wecome addition to the Paula / Matt & Gaby household. Born in September after an anxious few months, Gene is another reason why coming home in a month won't be such a terrible thing. Now where are those knitting needles?

Fox Glacier

2006-12-12T00:06:00.000Z

Before we got engaged there was a visit to a glacier which if you're sitting comfortably, I will recount to you now. After our little stroll through the Abel Tasman park we headed south following the West coast from Westport, through Greymouth and finally down to Glacier country. Some of the coastal drive was extremely beautiful, putting Australia's 'Great Ocean Drive' to shame. Along the way we stopped at a little place called Punakaiki to look at the local geological attraction (we were thinking of you Gino) Pancake Rocks. Basically some cliffs that have a multitude of layers looking a bit like pancakes, Sam thought they were great, I thought they were a touch dull and as I'm writing this particular blog, have relegated them to a mere mention.
The weather has continued to be generally sunny which meant when we arrived to see the glacier's we could actually see them and the mountains that surround them. Hoorah! These mountainous landscapes are the thing I came to see and they don't disappoint. Never having really seen snow capped 'proper' mountains either, the sight of them was particularly impressive. If you look really closely you can just see Frodo and crew walking across the snowy peaks.
In this part of New Zealand you get not one, but two ginormous glaciers to have a look at, Franz-Joseph Glacier and Fox Glacier. For no particular reason we decided to do our walk on Fox Glacier, although F-J looked very nice and so booked on to do the Nimble Fox All-Day Glacier Trek (as recommended by Bison) with Fox Guides. Being these days the nimble fox's we are it was the obvious choice. We arrived at the glacier after a short drive and got started on the walk up a steepish track that took us up and alongside the glacier. We were in a group of about 12 people (mainly dull, some groups are) with our guide, Jeremy. An hours walk took us to the edge of the glacier where we strapped on crampons to the huge boots we'd been given and immediately felt like proper mountaineering types. There was a staircase cut into the side of the glacier which they have to re-cut every day, otherwise within 2-3 days the whole thing melts. We climbed up the stairs and followed our guide around up on top of the glacier. It's a really interesting experience walking around on the ice, the views are superb and you feel like you could be in the middle of the Antarctic somewhere, in fact the previous night we'd watched 'March of the Penguins' and kept expecting them to pop up. Jeremy the guide led the way, cutting stairs into the ice as he went with his pick axe and he cut a lot of stairs that day, his arm muscles were huge, a bit like mine Alex :)
I'd love to tell you all the fascinating details about how glaciers work and move, but I can't be bothered, so you'll have to read about it here if you're interested. Sufficed to say that they move forward and backward up and down the valley over time and Fox has been moving forward since 1985. As you drive towards the glacier you see a sign which indicates where the glacier had been in 1750, a few K forward of its current position. After some time walking about on the glacier, discovering crevaces and the like we were shown an ice cave that had recently been found, in another few days it would vanish in on itself again with the ever moving flow of ice. We all stomped up and took our turns getting our photos done within the cave. I had had ideas of proposing within an ice cave, but was thwarted by the throng of people, the size of the cave and Sam chuntering on about how she was getting dripped on in the cave :)
The cave was pretty cool inspite of its small size and rainy state, the variety of blues in the ice was amazing. The colours generally and the sheer size of the glacier were spectacular. At the top of the glacier in the mountains is a bowl of snow 36k in diameter that continually feeds the glacier keeping it going as it melts and spews out water at the other end. You can go on helicopter flights to see the top of the glacier as well as Mount Cook and Mount Tasman which would be amazing, but a tad expensive for our budgets.
We took a picnic lunch with us which we ate sitting on some rocks in the middle of the glacier and made everyone jealous as we drank hot soup from our thermos. After more tramping about on the ice, we headed down and then off the glacier and back down to the small village where we were staying. We decided to treat ourselves to a night at the pub and a nice juicy steak, mmmmm. We'd been eyeing other peoples steaks up whilst enjoying a pint after the walk and worked ourselves into a steaky lather, shouting 'Steak, Steak, Steak'. However, when you want a steak desperately it often turns out to be poor and ours didn't disappoint, first turning up without the prawns we'd ordered, then coming back cold and then coming back cold again after we'd requested it being heated up. Gutted. Still we had a lovely steak the next night to celebrate our engagement.
Having seen Mount Cook in the background for a couple of days we decided to pay it a closer visit on our way down to Queenstown. A 400k round trip in fact took us to Mount Cook National Park. The journey was really nice with thousands of wild flowers along the road side and mountains popping up all over the place. As soon as we arrived at the park thought, it started raining, wouldn't you know it. We camped out in our van for the night, it got so cold, we ended up sleeping fully clothed the whole night. When morning came though, the sun was peaking out and we set off on a short 3 hour return walk to see Mount Cook. The walk took us through a valley with snow capped mountains on all sides, across 2 swing bridges and towards the Hooker Lake. On rounding the corner to get our close up view of the mountain we discovered that the clouds were still there and could only see the bottom half. We had to settle for that, but it was ok as we'd seen it from the other side. When we got back to our van we found a couple of ducks and their very cute baby ducks and spent some time feeding them out of our hands, I'm growing increasingly fond of ducks, I'm not sure what this means.

Slideshow

Listening to: Old Hardcore circa '92 (Still the greatest music ever!)

Currently Reading : Sara Douglass - The Nameless Day

Film of the Week: Casino Royale - the greatest Bond film ever?

The one you were waiting for...

2006-12-08T00:42:00.000Z

So there we were, sat in a buttercup-filled meadow overlooking the most perfect view I think I've ever seen - Mt. Cook & Mt. Tasman with the Fox Glacier in the background, a field full of uninterested bulls in the middle-ground and a sausage sarnie in the foreground. It was quite possibly the most spectacular snag/bap combo ever experienced and Andy was about to make the moment even more memorable. After spending a couple of hours early that morning gawping at the splendid view over Lake Matheson, with the magnificent mountains reflected in the water, we escaped the crowds of people hilariously running around the lake trying the capture the scene before the clouds obscured their photo opportunity of the peaks. Heading towards the Mt. Cook lookout, we stumbled upon a totally amazing spot completely devoid of human lifeforms. It was totally still and peaceful with only a stoat and several grazing beasts for company. Before I could pick up my knitting needles and ball of wool (the new OCD project of the week), Andy seemed to be asking me to marry him! At first I thought he was taking the p***, then I was very happy and then I started crying and then the panic hit me. All these emotions came and went very quickly and within about 6 seconds I seemed to be agreeing to his ludicrous plan.

Not quite prepared for the moment, Andy then legged it back to the van for the jade ring which he tells me is a temporary feature until he has saved up his pennies for a pink diamond like Jordon's (I think that's what he meant anyway). So this is the moment you've all been anticipating for the past 10 months. Was it worth the wait?!? Not only had I given up all hope, but the setting was out of this world. I think Gandalf was lurking somewhere casting good-weather spells. I didn't want to leave, but I was really quite keen to get on with the knitting project - a new hat for my future husband. A rainy drive to Lake Wanaka and then the clouds lifted once more. A bottle of champagne later and we were 'phoning my Dad to ask his permission. Some confusion ensued and a half-asleep Dad responded with some Northern-ness which Andy didn't quite get, but I think he agreed!

The original plan had been to ask me in an ice-cave the day before during an expedition on the Fox Glacier. All had not gone according to plan though as the ice-cave was very small (blog to follow soon) and as it was a sunny day, the ice was melting quite quickly. Andy was trying to shove me into the cave but it was dripping at quite a rate and I was getting soaked. If I'm honest, I was getting in quite a mood by the whole process and this could possibly have put the proposal on hold for a bit. The romance was further removed from the equation by the queue of people outside the cave waiting to come in.

So, on the 7th December, I had a tip-top excuse to flex the Egg card. We found a bar in Wanaka (not a typo) overlooking the mountains and the lake. Champagne and fine wine was the order of the moment. Then it was mussles, steak, tiger prawns and smoked salmon to ease the alarm of the situation. It's all good. Andy has said I can spend 10 English pounds on flowers for the big day and he's going to get his suit from TK Maxx... I am one lucky lady!! No seriously, we are very happy and have agreed on virtually everything since the event... So, here's to the future Mr & Mrs Us! Chin chin!!!!!

Currently Drinking : Quarz Reef Champagne from Otago region, NZ.

Film of the Week : A Very Long Engagement.

Abel Tasman

2006-12-03T23:31:00.000Z

Those secretly pleased about our terrible fortune with the weather will be sorry to learn it changed just when we needed it to. The following tale of endurance, natural beauty and human spirit will sadly end abruptly in carnal debauchery. I'm sorry, but that's the way the story goes. For those readers with a sensitive disposition, please don't read the penultimate paragraph. Our latest ridiclous mission was to trek 56km in 3 and a half days with little more than a pot of hummous and a small chirizo. There might have been a few packets of noodles, a couple of apples and a sustantial supply of chocolate, but it remains that calories in were not equal to calories out. We could've brought more grub and a book would've been nice, but our tiny rucksacks were filled to capacity and were already too heavy. Normal people have the funds and the intelligence to buy a decent rucksack, but we were too tight and too dismal to persue this course of action. We would make do with what amounted to school satchels filled with boulders.

The Abel Tasman coastal walk, in the Nelson region, takes you through a wonderous National Park of beautiful bays and inlets, glorious alpine territory and a patch or too of rainforest type scenery. Abel Tasman was a Dutch explorer with funny hair who was here a long time ago. The area comprises the North Eastern tip of the South Island and you basically walk around the headland from the village of Marahou to Wainui Bay. A terribly busy day the day before mission launch left us knackered and less than excited about the forthcoming challenge. There was a lot of time spent in a post office (2 hours) in a christmas frenzy, which had all the old woman tutting about the fact we were taking up so much space. There followed an unfeasably late lunch of disasterous proportions (take one egg, some pineapple, cheese, beetroot, salad, 2 slabs of meat, squash into a bun and then have the audacity to serve with chips); a speedy drive (literally - we got done for doing 72km/hour in a 30km work zone - to be fair it really wasn't obvious to anyone except the copper with the speed-gun. Andy was told off like a naughty schoolboy and whacked a fine of $80, as opposed to the $500 which we really due) and a packing of rucksack trial-run (very stressful)..

That night wasn't a restful one. The van was rocked by a violent electric storm and heavy rainfall. Not a fortuitous sign for the forthcoming challenge. So the following morning, we set off with heavy hearts and even more weighty packs. 10 minutes in and our backs were in agony and we'd had a row. The thing about the Abel Tasman walk is that you have to plan your walking around the tide timetable. Go at the wrong time of day and you won't be able to cross the estuary for hours, if at all, to reach your hut for the night. There are two high tides and two low per day and you have a couple of hours either side of low-tide to cross, which will determine what time of day you need to start your journey. The possibility of being swept out to sea clutching a pouch of dehydrated space food seemed a distinct possibilty if we'd got the sums wrong. Once the first couple of hours were out of the way, we seemed to experience a renaissance and suddenly felt more positive about the whole affair. The weather was looking up, our backs had numbed to the pain, the scenery was gorgeous and we were a team once more!

The first day was to be the toughest. An experience similar to carrying Michelle Macmannus for 7 hours uphill ensued, until we reached the hut at Bark Bay where we were to spend the night. It was pretty flat for most of the way, but to get the best views you obviously have to gain some altitude. The path meandered around headlands, dipping down again to sea level enabling you to walk over desserted stretches of sand. Much of the first day involved walking through cavernous enclosures of jewel-bright ferns and fronds with occasional glimpses of the magnificent coastline below. Stopping to lunch on Observation Beach, it felt very 'survival' to be boiling up a pan of water on the sand. The only real annoyance was the prolific sand-fly population throughout the whole journey. They are particularly vicious and after my experiences on Tioman island, Thailand I was sure to cover myself in rank-smelling anti-creature potion. Reaching our destination at the end of the first day was a great relief... we laid down on the beach and fell asleep for a while before hauling ourselves the last few metres to the overnight hut.

The huts are lovely wooden buildings with newly-fitted outside flush loos (to cope with the poo-levels generated from such great activity) and a cold shower. The down side is they are without cooking facilities or lighting. So it's basically camping without the tent as you still need to bring a stove, pots and cutlery and a sleeping bag. As luck would have it, some posh people had left a free-for-all at one of the campsites the week before. Andy had merrily brought home everything we needed for the expedition including a lovely fake wolfskin throw to keep us toasty at night! I knew my beau was desperate to sample our dehydrated food, clearly still harbouring schoolboy fantasies about being a spaceman. First up was a delightful 'beef and pasta hotpot' to which you add some hot water and leave to work its futuristic magic. The end result was a disappointing khaki mush containing hard semi-reconstituted lumps of brown. The trouble with not bringing a book meant we had to go to bed very early and it took forever to get to sleep in a dorm full of 6 other people. At several points during the night, I was woken to the sound of the bloke underneath me (figuratively speaking) punching a plastic bag... as it turns out, it wasn't quite as I had imagined - he'd had a mouse scuttling around attacking his food supplies.

The following morning after breakfast, we set off on what we expected would be an easy day by comparison. There was certainly less walking involved, which meant we could spend a couple of hours on Onetahuti Beach, looking out to Tonga Island in the distance, a big seal colony home to hundreds of NZ fur seals. We didn't see any seals, but were lucky enough to spot a gorgeous Little Blue Penguin, or Fairy Penguin struggling to swim in the waves as they broke against the shore. He was very cute but was doing a worrying amount of tumbling around. He finally seemed to work out that he needed to swim out to sea and we waved him off as he headed for some treacherous-looking rocks.

After much lolling about, it was time to cross the estuary. The water was an unbelievable 15 degrees, and even though we were only knee-deep, it really took your breath away. Then followed a long walk crunching across clam-shells, trying to avoid the extra-soggy areas of what was certainly quick-sand (a terrifying way to go). There is quite an abundance of orange-beaked Oyster-Catchers along the coastline. These hilarious birds are currently in their nesting season but they lay their eggs on the ground, leaving them vulnerable to predation by other birds and people standing on their babies. If you go within 10 metres of their nest which is basically nothing more than a couple of bits of driftwood, they chase you away and squawk in a not very meanacing way. It's very funny to watch, but in all probability you shouldn't do this as it might affect their already dwindling numbers. Additionally, there are lots of shags to be seen (more about that later). These birds are also known as Cormorants, they fish by diving to catch their food and then pose on the beach to dry out their feathers. Throughout the track were traps set for predators introcudes by the Europeans many years ago when they settled on Kiwi soil. Alarmed that there were no indigenous animals present, they brought all sorts of trouble to the ecosystem, and totally upset the delicately balance environment. So not only did the Moa become extinct, but all sorts of things proliferated and destroyed the environment as it once was. Ah, the hand of man cocks it up again... In Oz, possums are cute and cuddly, but here they are enemy No.1 and there are traps set up trees which ensnare the poor creature by the neck, thus snapping it in two. Nice. This is why you find an array of possum fur goods in the shops, fashioned into lovely soft scarves, gloves and willy warmers.

Enforced sociability is not an enticing prospect after a hard days tramping. But since we had no books with us, we were left with no choice. Fortunately, the group staying with us at Awaroa Hut turned out to be an affable lot, and incorporated an eccentric Dutch family, with a very funny Dad. Andy always tells Dutch people we meet that I speak the lingo, which is embarrassing and kind of not really true anymore. Usually they look quite unimpressed, but not this bloke - at every opportunity, he'd launch into his native tongue, and ask me questions about my time in Holland. He said that his wife was also a nurse and worked on the 'vagina ward.' Then followed a hilarious debate about stem-cell research to which he added that he didn't agree with 'clooning.' Brilliant. Every time I said anything in shaky Dutch, he totally creased up.

Also in the gang were a notably amarous Dutch/ Kiwi couple. Newly affiliated with the school of love, they took every opportunity to kiss and touch each other up quite publically, often whilst you were in the middle of talking to them. Not very polite, I would say! I know Jamie thinks I hate everyone I meet, but this time I feel my attack is justified. She was one of those overbearing types, always boasting about how fit she was blah, blah, blah. The fact that they were walking at a slower pace than even us would suggest otherwise. They went off to bed quite early, which was quite fortunate as I was already struggling to get down my 'Nasi Goreng' spacefood. By this stage I'd been in a lot of trouble regarding our dwindling food supply, especially as we compared our measly dinner to everyone elses. Then followed an improved night of sleep, free of mice.

The following morning, we were forced to hang around until low tide at around midday. This involved being in the company of the snoggers for far longer than was desirable, but they had loads of food with them and I was able to glean a couple of dry crackers from them (possible we could've stolen quite an amount - they wouldn't have noticed). Eventually the time came and we set off, trying to loose them along the way. She had developed blisters, been attacked by sandflies to an alarming degree and both feet were swollen. But is was still sort of funny when a bee stung her as well. Much drama ensued, involving the bloke trying to suck out the poison (any excuse to have another nibble), a trick I would've thought particularly dangerous with bee venom. Not keen to get involved with the possibility of having to perform an emergency tracheotomy with a encrusted spoon, we pretended not to notice (caring attitude prevails).

It felt good to be making progress and day three had us stumble across a beach stacked full of mussels. Given our fantastic tea the other night, we were keen to add a spot of protein to the proceedings. Most of the National Park is a totally protected marine environment, meaning you can't take even a shell from the beach. Lucky for us, Goat Bay marks the end of the marine park! We foraged for a while, yanking a combination of blue and Green Lip Mussels from their sturdy positions on the rocks. But the incoming tide meant we got a bit wet in the process. Anxious to reach Whariwharangi hut before they all opened and died, we took a wrong turn at the point when we were feeling knackered. Now, I won't go on, but I said it was the other way. Granted it wasn't clear from the sign, but what we had actually done was take an additional side-trek over the headland, resulting in a very tough extra hour uphill. Nice one. Still, we reached the hut eventually and got dinner on the go.

One of the rangers met us as we fell into the hut. Their job, working for the Department of Conservation, is to keep the huts nice and protect the national park by murdering possums and other creatures with poisonous eggs. He said there was only two spaces left for us to sleep and as misfortune would have it, it was the room containing the snoggers. They had arrived just before us and so, despite "fitness always being a large part of her life" and they hadn't done that extra side trip. We managed to escape them by cooking up our spicy mussel and noodle soup - it was easily the best thing we'd eaten so far. Not only was it mighty tasty and fresh, but those anti-inflammatory properties worked a treat on my aching knee joints. We got chatting to a nice family who took pity on us and donated some marshmallows on sticks for us to toast in the campfire they had built. A dream come true.

As night fell at about 9pm, we headed off to bed, quite anxious about potential activities we could be walking in on in the bedroom. Within minutes, we could hear certain needs were being addressed and it didn't take a genious to work out what was going on just inches away from us. It was truly awful, and we still can't quite believe their cheek . They didn't even wait until we were asleep. You really don't want to listen, but it became quite clear which bit they were up to, torrid stage by torrid stage. I was too stunned to say anything but was very temped to put them off, but how does one go about such a plan? So many wonderful ideas have come to me since. Maybe they will have progressed to doing their tawdry act in car parks by now. So it's fair to say we witnessed more shags than anticipated during our Abel Tasman extravaganza.

The next morning, we legged it without saying farewell to the dirty gerties and made the 3 hour trip back to Totaranui. It was another beautiful day and we wandered through foxgloves towards the end of the epic journey. Bizarrely, we completed the mission relatively unscathed. A couple of blisters and a few sandfly bites was about the extent of it. We caught our water taxi from Totaranui beach back to Marahou, which took an hour and a half in the speedboat. We stopped at Tonga island to look at the seals where a group were braving the cold to swim with them! Apparently they aren't aggressive in the water, just on land where they feel vulnverable. After a fantastic few days we are now getting fat again on lamb chops!

Oyster Catchers Film

Film of the Century : March of the Penguins (beautiful, emotionally-charged Antarctic love story).

Currently listening to : Birds, by Bic Runga.

Sperm Ahoy!

2006-11-28T05:22:00.000Z

We crossed the Cook strait from the North to the South island without incident and headed down the coast to Kaikoura. It's a great drive through vineyards and rolling hills and then some beautiful coastal scenery with lots of seals lolling on the rocks to observe. Kaikoura is a very small town that is famous for its marine wildlife, the top draw being the Sperm Whale. Amongst the other sea inhabitants that frequent this part of the world are Humpback, Southern Right and Fin Whales. Killer Whales, lots of different Dolphins, all sorts of sharks and loads of birds, the Albatross being the most interesting. That's a picture of a Sperm Whale we came across on the side of a building, its about life size!
The morning after arriving we were booked in for a Whale watching expedition. The weather reports weren't that good (what a surprise) and so we hired some anti-sea sickness bands which you strap on pressure points on both wrists and wouldn't you know it, they worked. We'll definitely have to invest in some of these before doing the return crossing back to the North island, which every person who I've spoken to about it says its a nightmare and maybe we were lucky that it was relatively calm, so I've only got a month to be nervous for then, great! As it turned out, the sea had calmed down loads by the time we set sail and there was only a small half meter swell. We went with Whale Watch Kaikoura as they're the only company around and pretty good they were to, quite a few people on the boat, but mainly there was enough room to have a gander at the whales.
Sperm whales are the world's biggest predator and can grow up to 20 meters in length. Kaikoura is one of the best places to see them as it has a huge undersea trench situated just off the coast and this is where the whales feed. They are deep sea divers and will dive down to depths of 1000 - 2000 meters for up to 2 hours at a time. In Kaikoura they normally dive to 1000 meters for 45 minutes. They go deep to get their favorite food, the Giant Squid. Like a lot of whale watching trips, its basically like watching a floating log that blows off a bit of air every now and then, but at least with Sperm whales, because they dive down to get their food, you get to see their tail as they dive, which is actually very cool. If only you could dive with them...
Why are they called Sperm whales? Well it's a bit mingin, but when whalers first caught a Sperm whale they cut its head open and out poured a sticky, white goo, in fact about two and a half tons of the stuff and being the brainy whalers they were, immediately deduced it must be sperm....from its head? A few years later the real truth became apparent, its actually a type of oily wax, but why does the whale have it? No idea, answers on a postcard please. Anyway the name stuck and it kind of looks like a giant sperm anyway with its weirdly shaped head. On the way back to shore we stopped to watch some Dusky Dolphins frolicking about, leaping high out of the sea and spinning about.
Back on land before we left the next day, we drove along the coast to see the huge colony of Sea lions. They stank, but really nice to watch them chasing each other about and lazing about on the rocks, looking like furry rocks really. You're not supposed to get within 20 meters of them as they can be a bit viscious, but being the kind of crazy take all risks person you know I am, I ventured down onto the beach to get some better snaps. You have to be really careful and inspect each rock carefully in case it really is a seal. I was able to stand on a high rock where I knew they couldn't clamber up (suckers) and photograph away! Hungry from our seal excursion we came across a little place called Nins Bin selling fresh Crayfish, mmmmmm, so tucked into one with just a squeeze of lemon and a pinch of salt. If you haven't had Crayfish before I highly recommend it, not prawny like you might think, more of a meaty taste, not fishy at all. We also bought some Green Lipped Mussels which are apparently world famous and cost a bomb back home, here they're cheap and gorgeous.

More Whale information here.

Film of the Week: Once Were Warriors

Listening to: The Beatles - Love

Lake Taupo - Wellington

2006-11-26T06:20:00.000Z

After all the exertion, I was desperate to check into the Grand Chateau in Whakapapa (pronounced Phakapapa!) for a hot bath and a big posh bed. I can confirm that this famously fantastic NZ hotel is haunted and last time I stayed there, Bruce and I were tormented all night by ghouls shaking the bed! Either that or it was an earthquake, but nothing quite on the scale of the last big style erruption of Mt. Ruapehu (Mt. Doom) in 1996. It does seem however that we've spent nearly all our pocket money, so we hauled ourselves into the van and set off for Lake Taupo, the biggest lake in the country. At 606 sq km, it was formed 25,000 years ago by one of the greatest volcanic explosions ever known round these parts. It is estimated that the explosion would have produced 800 cubic km of ash and totally destroyed everything in the vacinity. As a result of this tectonic plate movement, the lake is perched 357m above sea level and on a clear day (apparently they do have them) it looks very pretty.

Our aching limbs and frozen toes brought us magically to a caravan park located next to Taupo's natural Hot Springs. We jumped straight into the 40 degree C pool and chilled out Japanese style (except this time partially dressed). You have to remove all silver jewellery because the suphur and minerals turn it black and you can't put your head under the water as you can get amoebic meningitis... a small fact I forgot to mention to Andy and before I knew it he was underwater. With his propensity for ear infections, what was he thinking?! An element of confusion, slow response times and talking nonsense has been a feature of late, but come to think of it no more so than throughout the last 6 years.

Which reminds me, we had our 6 year Anniversary on the 1st November! Except we didn't get much chance to celebrate as we were flying to NZ that day. Perhaps worth a mention is the fact that Andy forgot, so we rescheduled for a date when he would have plenty of time to buy a card. Apparently he hasn't had a chance. Must be all those amoeba occupying his brain. He was given the benefit of the doubt, only to fall at the second hurdle. Still no card or prezzie. When he could bear it no more, I am now in posession of 2 new CDs and a lovely card that I've never been given before. (He finds it hilarious that he gave me the same Valentine's card 2 years running).
Thank-you for the CDs and the lovely card and Kiwi fruit wrapping paper!

Being in a volcanic region is very cool because it smells of rotten eggs and there are areas of the landscape which look out-of-this-world. Such a location is the Craters of the Moon, some 5 km north of Taupo. The forrested area is dotted with steam vents or fumaroles and the occasional bubbling mud pool. It's a bit dangerous to wander off the boardwalk as the ground's all a bit crumbly and boiling - terrible way to go I'd imagine. Still, one kind Dutch bloke risked life and limb to get this great photo of us looking nervously at the camera.

The Huka Falls are another attraction of the region. It's more like a massive rapid of turquoise water and you can take one of those jet boats around them if you dare. A more relaxing watersport, we assumed, would be to hit the lake in a 2-man kayak. There are some really cool Maori Rock Carvings on Lake Taupo which can only be reached by boat. Andy was quite certain that kayaking was going to be his new favourite thing and was about to book us on a 3-day kayaking extravaganza along the Abel Tasman coastal track. Having had one day of disasterous kayaking experience (well, it was an inflatable Funyak) I knew it was a total killer on the arms, so we decided to see how the day went first. At least there wouldn't be any swell on a lake so it would make for a chilled-out adventure.

Or would it? Being a pretty big lake subject to a fair bit of wind, by the time this has whipped up over the surface of the water for a few km, things can get a bit hairy. In reality, this means that a swell of 2 or 3 metres is feasable. At least the weather fairies were looking on us that morning - the lake was mirror-calm and the sun was shining. Fantastic, out luck was on the turn. Donning a gorgeous creation known as a 'kayak skirt' (great for those wanting to disguise a fat lower half) and a life vest, we were all ready to roll. 10 minutes into the exercise, Andy had decided his arms weren't up to the challenge. 15 minutes later, the blue sky totally disappeared and the rain clouds rolled in from nowhere. Soon, we were battling with big waves - paddling very hard but making no headway.

We'd been taught how to stabalise the kayak as much as possible, but we entered a phase when capsizing became a very distinct possibility. Trying our best to hit the waves head-on (Mr. Burns was steering) we battled for a bit until the guide decided it was too dangerous to head out to the carvings. This was much to the disappointment of Mrs Kayak who was weird enough to be in a kayaking club, which had enabled her to do 'lots of kayaking, actually' with her funny brother. She had a Kiwi accent right, but turns out she was from Windsor, and had only been living here 18 months. Very annoying. Worse still, she kept calling her brother 'dude.' So we pansied about for a bit away from the waves before stopping for tea, trying to out do kayak queen.

A passing fling with a bizarre confectionary known as 'lolly cake' (cake with marshmallows in it) and Milo ( a really crap version of hot chocolate) had honorary Kiwi barely able to contain herself, gushing about how this was the best thing about living in New Zealand. What, better than a Cadbury's cocoa and a slice of M&S carrot & orange? Don't make me laugh, you Duke of Edinburgh prom queen. So it was a great shame that we didn't make it to the carvings, but we managed to mask our disappointment better than some. The guide was very sweet and made up for it by telling us about the Maori legend surrounding the lake. The mountains (above left) resemble an ancient beatiful Maori princess who was due to marry some old bloke but she decided to have one last fling before her wedding with a handsome warrior. Anyway, she went and got a baby in there and her Dad went mental, saying she would bring disripute on his tribe and on also on Taupo. So he laid her down by the lake and covered her in stones until she tured into the mountain you see today as a constant reminder to everyone not have an affair before your wedding.

With that in mind, we headed down to Napier - the world's most Art Deco City. The sun decided to shine in time for our photoshoot and the architecture although quite ugly actually looks very cool and you sort of feel like you're on a film set. The town on Hastings in just down the road and is decked out in similar attire. You see, there was a mega, highly-destructive Hawke's bay earthquake in 1931 which resulted in both towns having to be totally rebuilt and regenerated. Given the penchant for pastel and all things cubist at this time, Art Deco was the style of choice. Much of it is fantastically preserved and much of the original glass panelling remains intact.

With our tour of the North Island almost complete (plan is to return to Rotorua, the major geothermal region, for an eggy Christmas), we had one last stop to make - the capital city of NZ, Wellington. Affectionately known to Kiwis as the "Wundy Sooty," I was eager to see what kind of a place my mate Carine would hail from. She said it would be windy - it was. Also that there would be good coffee and a pleasant cafe scene with a great museum. All of these things were indeed correct, so I'm now satisfied that she is a bona fide Wellingtonian and not just some extra from Shortland Street who lost her way and started taking X-rays in Brighton's very own hospital sit-com, Edward Street. The only difference is that staff get better treatment on the telly.

Te Papa or "our place," is the museum of which the country is so proud. And rightly so, it is an enormous place housing a diverse collection of artifacts from whale skeletons, to Maori cloaks and the history of wool. Well, if you skip that section it's very good, especially some of the modern art on the top floor. Not that I don't now know the difference between a Merino and a Drysdale. Here's me trying my hand at shearing a fake sheep - with a barcode scanner. It's a very interactive kind of place where you can stand in a house and experience a simulated earthquake - about or 5 or 6 on the Richter scale, but it was still quite worrying. There is a beautifully carved replica of a Marae or meeting house and a massive photo of the Beatles with a load of greenstone (jade) hanging around their necks some time when they were probably in Wigan town centre. Most fabulous thing of our 7 hour day was discovering a fantastic artist called Charles Goldie. I was very naughty and took a photo of my favourite painting of the week, exhibiting phenomenal detail and a haunting ability to translate emotion into a two dimensional form. He portrays the same model in much of his work for her thought-provoking and enigmatic expression.

Continuing with the cultural theme, we greatly enjoyed watching Borat at the cinema and made the most of Wellingtons ever-changing climate by having a glass of wine in one of the street-side bars. Very nice, some kind of Sav Blanc and it did much to ease the strain of visiting the salon and Christmas shopping. This is going to be contraversial, but I don't think men can cut hair. I've had 3 disasterous haircuts in my life and each time its been a boy weilding the scissors. "Daryl'' just kept slicing into it until there was nothing but wisps left. It's like they have a vendetta against thick hair and want "Hollyoaks Flat" for all. I feel physically sick

when they do that bit at the end, just when you're thinking they're finished and it looks quite nice, and take the scissors extremely randomly and hack into your dry hair. So here I am, with the same haircut I had when I was 5 years old. Literally. The only difference between me now and on my 5th birthday is the hat made of wallpaper with "I am 5" written across the top (except maybe the brown kilt and tights). Not one highlight remains on my Velma affair which strips one of every bit of femininity. At least the wind of Wellington obscures the bowl cut, thus eliminating some of the outward-bounds teacher look. Cheers.

Currently listening to: Sam's Town by the Killers

Currently Reading: Inside Little Britain.

The Tongariro Crossing

2006-11-21T04:12:00.000Z

When Sam holidayed (without me) in New Zealand about 4 years ago she returned with stories and pictures about the beauty of this small country (pre-blog days). One particular photo stayed imprinted on my Swiss cheese like memory, three blue lakes set within a volcanic landscape. Could we return there so I could see for myself one of the wonders of NZ? A resounding Yes from Samantha, I'll show you the famous Emerald Lakes of Tongariro and show them to me she did.....just about.
The Tongariro Crossing is a well known walk within NZ and is supposed to be the best one day walk you can do here. The scenery is fairly spectacular taking in two inactive volcano's, Mt Tongariro and Mt Ngauruhoe, numerous lakes, waterfalls and many other types of landscape. The walk is an hour or two's drive from Lake Taupo, the biggest lake in NZ smack bang in the middle of the North island.
The day before the walk we checked in with the local Information center to find out the weather reports and to book up some transport to ferry us back to our van after the walk had finished. The weather read: 'fine with some cloudy spells', excellent, at last some decent weather and so we went ahead and booked the shuttle service. We then drove to a little village called Whakapapa (you pronounce the Wha as Fu - I'm not kidding) where we camped for the night in a weird, kinda scary campervan site that could have easily been used as a set for a horror film.
The next day saw us up bright and breezy and on our way to the rendez-vous with the shuttle. The idea is that you park your van at the end of the walk and they drive you to the start, some 17 kilometers away. Only one slight problem, we couldn't find the rendez-vous! No where in sight was the stupid road we were supposed to turn off to meet up with our ride. After a lot of driving up and down and cursing the transport company, we found ourselves fifteen minutes late and realising that they would have left without us, we decided to drive to the start of the walk, walk to the Emerald Lakes which was about half the walk anyway and then come back the same route. $40 dollars (15 knicker) down wasn't the best start to the day (we'd paid for the transport already), but the sun was peering at us from behind the clouds occasionally and we were in the mood for walking.
Arriving at a small carpark in an area called Mangatepopo, we grabbed our packs and set off along the well trodden route with a lot of other walkers. The first part of the walk is all fairly flat and takes you through scrubland down to the end of a valley where you start to ascend. On one side of you are steep scrub covered hills and on the other the imposing figure of Mt Ngauruhoe, reaching up to 2,291 meters high. It also happens to be the mountain that Peter Jackson used to represent Mt Doom in the Lord of the Rings films, cool eh :) The weather was fairly cloudy during this part of the walk and at one point the clouds actually parted and I managed to get a picture of the mountain with a nice blue sky. Our optimism of a sunny day was short lived however as the clouds closed once again and jumpers and jackets that had been taken off were hastily put back on again. In fact this seems to be a recurring theme in NZ, one minute you're basking in the sunshine, the next your scrabbling for your jumper as the cold winds begin to bite. The next part of the walk is all uphill and is pretty hard going, there's no real path, so its clambering up and around and inbetween the rocks and tough grass that litter the mountain side. As we were climbing up the weather started to close in little by little, the mist and clouds descending upon us. The volcanic rocks around us looked exactly like the terrain that Frodo and Sam cross when they're in Mordor and on further investigation this turned out to actually be the place where they filmed it. It's a pretty bleak place as you're trudging up the steep slope, the clouds had by now returned in force and completely obscured Mt Doom to our right. It took us about an hour to get to the top, which I thought was fairly good going considering the weather, the terrain and Hambles little legs. At the top the mist was now everywhere, you could see 10-20 meters around you, but we strode on across the flat sand banks, onwards towards the ever closer Emerald Lakes. After ten minutes we came to the next and last ascent before we reached our goal. This one lasted maybe half an hour and was just as steep as the last one, but this time the weather had really closed in on us, it started raining a fine mist, so that our trousers were wet very quickly, the wind really started getting stronger, not quite enough to blow you over, but pretty strong. We walked heads down, the wind raging around us, our legs aching from the exertion of the climb. Our jackets protected our top halves from the ravages of the weather, Gore-tex, blessed be thy name. We hunkered down behind a big rock away from the worst of the wind and ate some of the sandwiches we'd made earlier and got chatting to a chap called Elliott from Singapore. Its great to meet someone nice to talk to when you're facing testing conditions, it gives you a lift and spurs you on. We finally reached the top of the climb and straight away began the descent to the lakes. The wind was still whipping around us as we slipped and slid down the scree. Half walking, half sliding, we went down sideways to make sure we didn't fall over. I became aware of a smell, a rotten eggs type smell, which caused me to turn around and glare at Sam, but she was further up the slope, so couldn't have been guilty. Where could that heinous smell be coming from? Then in the distance, ooh, at least 20 meters away I could make out the vaguest hint of blue, was it the fabled Emerald Lakes of Samantha's legends. Yes! We'd arrived at the lakes! As we got within a few meters I could see the lakes clearly (ish) through the cloud. Two lakes, one smaller, both a radiant emerald blue colour, a thin strip of sulphurous yellow around their edges. The egg smell was all around us and was coming from steaming vents of gas on the other side of the lake, the volcano still bubbling away far below us. We sat down behind another rock next to the lake and took out our newly acquired thermoses ( thermoi?) and were excited to discover that they had actually worked and kept our water hot and proceeded to have our warming Pea and Ham soup. After eating the remainder of our sandwiches, polishing off a spot of Green tea, we started to make the long trek back to our van. The return ascent of the scree covered slope was a bit of a mare, but the thought of it being our last climb of the day drove us on. We met walkers here and there, appearing out of the mist, asking if there was far to go to the lakes. The rest of the journey back was uneventful and gradually the weather slackened off a bit and allowed us to get a bit of a view of the 'red crater', one of the highlights of the walk normally.
Total walk time including stoppages was seven hours, not to bad considering the weather, steep sections and our generally poor fitness. I got to "see" the lakes in the end and it was an enjoyable experience, but I would like to return one day and do the walk in good weather, the views are normally amazing, here's what it should look like!

Next up: Some sun?

Listening to: Plaid - Rest Proof Clockwork

Film of the Week: Borat

Kia Ora!

2006-11-14T03:47:00.000Z

Weird. 2 hours 40 minutes to get to New Zealand? Last time it took me about 2 days to get here and about 5 days to recover. We are now 13 hours into the future and as far away from home as we can geographically get, thanks to a rather terrifying flight full of turbulence and a travelling companion doing his childbirth breathing. Auckland is known as the City of Sails and true, there are a few boats knocking around but it kind of pales into insignificance after Syders. In keeping with our passion for climbing up high things, we ventured to the top of the Sky Tower - something I was too lazy and/ or busy drinking to do last time I was here with Bruce, Lovdeep, Mandeep, Sarah & Paul 4 years ago. The Sky Tower looms over the city and is pretty scary because there are glass panels in the floor overlooking the street below!! We both had a go at walking across them, but it sort of makes you feel a bit ill. If you're a nutter you can do a bungy jump from the top. It's funny being back and seeing the same places, like the casino in Sky City where Lovdeep spilt his beer during a game of Blackjack all over the gambling table. There was a lot of fuss involving contacting the on-call cleaner with a mobile hair-dryer, thus holding up everybody's hard gambling for half an hour and thus ruining my Bond-girl moment.

Consisting of two main islands - North and South, NZ is a place of great geographical diversity, given its comparitively small area. The total land mass, including some of the smaller islands adds upto 270,534 sq km (the UK has 244,800 sq km) but is home to a measly 4,158,720 lucky people as opposed to 60,441,457! No more queing in Woolworths (Woolies is a supermarket in NZ & Oz, rather than a crap elderly-shoppers- only retail outley selling overpriced CDs and Pick 'n' Mix). There are mountains, frisky volcanic activity and a more pronounced Maori presence. By contrast, the south island has glaciers, more rain and more mountains. It's a country of unpredictable weather and to keep it green, one minute you're putting on the Factor 30, the next you're reaching for your fleece. So you can be on a beach in the morning and walking up a snowy mountain by the afternoon - NZ has it all. Except indigenous land animals that is. The only indigenous things here were birds, all others have been introduced from other places. Isn't that weird? Good news is that there are no poisonous snakes or spiders, very few great white sharks, scorpions or anything else nasty. There are a few big trees and the Kiwis seem to like their ferns. Little bit of background for you there.

Tomorrow we pick up our new camper van (this time from a company called Ezy - we learnt our lession). Same type of van, only it's furnished with a TV & DVD player, so things sounds promising. In the meantime, we're staying in a brand new backpacker place of indeterminite name somewhere downtown. There's not a lot to do in Auckland, if I'm totally honest, so we headed out to the cinema to watch Flags of our Fathers. The trailer looked awful, but I was talked into it. Anyway, it turned out to be a TRULY awful film, centred around a theme of a flag. There was a bit of debate about who put the first flag up, then there was confusion with a second flag and then there was a lot of war. Hideous.

Well, the new van is brilliant. It's all brand new and has lovely aubergine moleskin furnishings! They won't last five minutes with our crusty feet pawing at them, but it feels posh and that's important after 10 months of not-posh. Vix said to me the other day "Is every day of travelling brilliant?" I shall attempt to address this question by giving you a brief synopsis of our first week in Kiwi-land.

Our first stop was the Bay of Islands. I've seen photos of the place and it looked pretty special, except when we got there, it was very grey and rainy. It's quite an important place historically, as this is where the Treaty of Waitangi was signed in 1838. This was basically an agreement between the Maori chiefs and the Queen of England about land ownership and rights. Trouble is, there was some discrepency at the time about what it really meant and the debate still lingers today. The Maori chiefs conceded their sovereignty to the Queen in exchange for her protection and the granting of the same citizenship rights and privileges to Maori people as English citizens. Basically, this meant that Maori could only sell their land to the Crown and then it would be sold on to other (mainly European) settlers for a fair price. Difficulties have emerged since this time regarding interpretations and translations of the Treaty. We decided not to hang around waiting for the seasons to catch up with themselves (it's supposed to be approaching summer) and drove down to a little-known place called Whangerei.

Whangerei brought us to Tutakaka which is the gateway to the famous Poor Knights dive sites. Dive booked, we headed out for a short walk as recommended by the campsite owner. This short jaunt turned into a 3 hour expedition involving getting lost by missing a fork in the road. There was nothing to see and we just ambled aimlessly around farmland. Though glad to eventually return to our van, we were a bit alarmed to find that the bloke camping next to us kept shooting at unseen things scampering around in the field. He then stuck them on the BBQ for supper (still unidentifiable). Doing our best to ignore Tony Martin, who really was doing too much chuntering to himself than is condsidered healthy in psychiatric terms, we had an early night.

The following morning we were greeted by rainclouds and drizzle. "I'm not diving in this!" The thought of it - water temperature 17 degrees and a 7mm wetsuit? Not me at all. The dive company had actually cancelled the trip anyway, so this was another day wasted. Eager to get on, we legged it South in the general direction of Raglan, a chilled out surfey kinda place (still contemplating that surfing lession). Weather terrible along the way, wipers going at full pelt, so thought that perhaps the beach was not the most favourable desination. Andy was quite keen to head to the Kiwi House in Otorohanga, which is billed by the Lonely Planet to be quite special. Though out-of-date by 4 years, we were too tight to buy a new edition and anyway, I've carried the thing around for 10 months (why, oh why?). Time was not on our side, so we were covering some quick miles to get to Otorohanga. Just before we reached the town however, we saw a car lying on its roof at the side of the road. Some young hoodie had just ploughed into one of the pylons, bringing it to the ground. Not fancying driving over live power lines, we had to take a massive detour in order to reach our planned destination.

There are a few of these Kiwi houses dotted about the country, caring for rescued Kiwis (birds that is, not locals or fruits). If you're ever in Otorohanga and feel the urge, go spend an hour in a public toilet instead - you will have a far more rewarding experience. We had half an hour before the Kiwi House closed - the hoover was already out in the foyer. We shelled out $30 in entrance fees as I was "desperate to do something today." Turns out there was one Brown Kiwi snuffling about in a 'moonlit scene,' which didn't allow flash photography. I know this is upsetting in an already rivetting blog entry, but our hands were tied. I wish they had of been and then I wouldn't have had access to my purse at 5:00pm that rainy Friday in Otorohanga. The rest of the (open air) park was full of ducks enjoying the rain and their dismal pens. The only glimmer of hope was contained in a bird like an owl called (not kidding), a Morepork. It is thus called because it's call sounds like it's saying "more pork," which someone close to me can identify with needing. Poor thing looked too depressed to speak, so I can neither confirm nor deny the reasons behind this bird's ridiculous name. Oh what a joy.

Undeterred, we read more and planned more and shelled out more money for bizarre experiences. If the weather was going to be stubborn, we would have to go underground to avoid it. Waitomo is famous for its glowworm caves. Wai means water and tomo means hole - very appropriate for a place dotted with dangerous shafts which drop unexpectedly through the lush green countryside into underground caverns and streams. They are mostly fenced off to prevent people and cows falling down them. Skeletons of the now-extinct Moa birds (a relation of the cassowary) have been found in some caves, along with the bones of many creatures who ended their days rather unenviably. Long- known by local Maori, the caves were shown to a European explorer in 1887, where tours have been running ever since. Tourism being what it is in NZ however, means that things have progressed from the gentle boat-ride through the caves. You can now abseil 100m into a canyon and squeeze yourself through tiny holes all in the name of fun. We've both read Aaron Ralston's "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" and were in no mood for getting into a situation necessitating self-amputation of limbs. Especially as I had my Swiss army knife confiscated at Auckland airport (they let me keep the bike chain, though how unfortunate all my weapons were stashed in the same festering compartment as my worn knickers - mortified, especially when she put gloves on for the procedure).

Aiming for an in-between level of excitement, we headed out in a truck with a couple of sour Germans and an affable Canadian who lacked any swimming ability. Dressed in wetsuits, gumboots and miners helmets whilst carrying rubber rings, we looked quite gorgeous against the surreal English countryside backdrop. Our guide, from Cave World, was a bit odd and insisted on taking many (mostly rubbish) photos to capture our Teletubbies moments. Before long, we happened upon our cave and descended through the ground. Immediately dark, we instantly saw our first small cluster of glowworms. We were told to listen very carefully to the noise of the water dripping from the stalagtites onto the stream below. It was at this point when the guide (the incongruously named Rodney) popped a balloon and nearly scared us to death. As soon as he did this though, the glowworms glowed even brighter which looked very pretty, but there was a lot of "Mein Gott!!" from one corner of the cave.

Glowworms are actually gnat larvae with luminescent organs (lucky things). They weave sticky threads which hang down from the cave ceilings and attract other insects with their lights. NZ and OZ (a remnant from when the two countries were joined together) are the only two places in the world where you can see them. Rodney said we were likely to feel eels wriggle past our legs in the water, encounter cave wetas and massive spiders. For most of the trip our headlights were to be switched off, so maybe this was a good thing. It was then time to start tubing! Sitting in our rubber rings, and reeling from the water temperature, we formed a line by securing the feet of the person behind us under our arms. We then let the river take us downstream in the most surreal ride ever. Straight away we were treated to a galaxy of glowworms above us. Another balloon explosion later and they were all shining like a million faraway stars. I did worry about the non-swimmer as the water was out of our depth, so I held onto his feet very tightly.

We became aware of a waterfall ahead of us which became more scary the louder it sounded. By the time we reached it, being first in line, I was told to jump off the waterfall, bottom first, ring in position. It was very weird and quite scary falling several metres into the darkness, not knowing how deep it was or where my ring would end up. A massive splash at the bottom meant I'd made it, and I sat with the eels until everyone else had done likewise. The second waterfall had a slide underneath it, but you had to lie back with your head in the rapids. Very weird and quite unlike those at Wet 'n' Wild.

Not being too good with small spaces (just to add to his list of made-up phobias), young Andy did very well. There were a couple of moments where you had to squeeze through a small space but nothing too bad. The final drift downstream towards the cave opening in our bizarre little train, someones wellies under my armpits, was made more atmospheric by Rodney's rendition of the NZ/Maori national anthem. We said goodbye to our glowworm friends and headed back to sea level for hot soup and showers. So no, every day of travelling is not always brilliant, but you know there is something wicked just round the corner. I think the NZ extreme activities have begun!

Currently listening to: Russel Brand Podcast.

Currently drinking : Oyster Bay Merlot

Sydney & The Blue Mountains

2006-11-12T07:35:00.000Z

On our way down to Melbourne we dropped in to visit the Blue Mountains. I know we've done the Melboune blog, but these mountains sit an hour or so out from Sydney, so seemed more appropriate to go on the Sydney blog, so there you go. The town of Katoomba is the gateway to the mountains and has the feel of a place removed from time, stuck as it is in the 1920's. That's not a particularly bad thing its just a bit weird. It's an easy walk to the edge of town where you're greeted by basically the kind of awe inspiring sight that's probably a bit similar to the Grand Canyon, only a lot greener....and bluer, sufficed to say that it's all very gorgeous. The question then: Why are they called the Blue Mountains? Well, its because of all the Eucalyptus trees whose grey blue colouring gives them a blueish tint, its not all jokes on this blog, oh no. One of the key attractions here are the Three Sisters, a formation of peaks, yup, three of them that just look damn fine and especially nice at sunset when they look a particularly groovy golden colour.
It's an incredibly beautiful place spoilt only by the hoards of flys that attacked us whenever we ventured into the open and as we were in a National Park we were in the open a lot. Hopefully the fly epidemic is a short, seasonal one, cause otherwise it wouldn't be worth going, its that bad. Unfortunately and fortunately we had only an afternoon in the mountains as the long drive to Melbourne was about to begin.
Fast forward a few days and another mammoth and nightmarish drive later, we were in Sydney. Wow! Sydney's a city we've all seen countless times on the Tv, especially the famous harbor with its distinctive bridge and futuristic Opera House, but to actually arrive here and walk through the gorgeous Botanical Gardens and then stare across the harbor was a moment that will live long in my memory. I ran out of superlatives shortly after arriving in Tokyo to use in the blog and have been re-using the same ones for the last 10 months, but Sydney harbor has had me looking in my newly acquired thesaurus and so without much further a do, I name you, Sydney harbor.....Out-of-this-World! Implausibly phantasmagorical! Pulchritudinous! Simply Breath-taking! Yes, I did like it :) It's a hard scene to leave, but eventually we dragged ourselves away and as the clouds were appearing over the sun, we took the brave decision to head inside the Sydney Aquarium. I won't bang on about it to much, as we've been to plenty of aquariums on this trip, but it's a good one, with two really big tanks filled with some very nice sharks, including our old friend the Grey Nurse Shark (Just in case you missed it, here's my shark video again).
After quenching our thirst for the undersea kingdom, we met up with our old work mate Vix, who is as fantastic a person as ever and let us stay in her gorgeous flat for the weekend, whilst she moved out to her mates place, how nice is that? The only photo of all three of us isn't the greatest, we did really have a good time :)
Almost a year ago, our work chums bought us a leaving present and that was two tickets to walk over the Sydney harbor Bridge. We've carried those tickets with us for the last 10 months and not managed to lose them, which meant we actually had to do it. Gazing up at the bridge I was starting to wonder how my fear of heights (Acrophobia) was going to cope with yet another stupidly high structure, Sam on the other hand was chuntering on about how she couldn't be bothered, she was too hot, etc ( Chuntering, from the verb To Chunter, meaning : To go on, to talk incessantly about nothing, banging on, etc). We filed into the Bridge Climb office and presented our golden Willy Wonka style tickets. The Bridge Climb company has got there business down to a fine art and you're processed through the whole experience with impressive slickness, every staff member is friendly and it seems every tiny detail has been thought of. The only real shame is that you can't take a camera in case you drop it down onto the traffic, but it's a minor point as you get a free pic anyway. The whole thing takes three and a half hours and of that, two hours is spent on the climb itself. First you have to kit up in blue and grey jumpsuits, apparently so you blend in with the bridge and are less distracting to drivers, then you get breathalysed and have to pass through a metal detector, no drunks on this trip. Next up were accessories. Unsurprisingly this was when Sam started warming to the whole thing and ended up having every available accessory. The hat, the hankie, the hairband and the elastic tether for her shades. We then got our harnesses on which have a safety line that attaches to a steel wire that runs the whole length of the walk around the bridge. Then there's a practice section of the bridge laid out, where you climb a ladder and stroll across a walkway to practice moving around with your safety line. Just before you go onto the bridge, you're all kitted out with headsets so you can hear your guide, in our case a bloke called Michael who was brilliantly funny and made the whole walk even better.
Walking out onto the street in our spangly jumpsuits to walk down to the bridge we felt like complete muppets, before entering a building, climbing some stairs and then clipping onto the safety wire and starting the walk. The first section of the walk is the worst and if you're not keen on heights, frankly a nightmare :) You walk along a gantry to get to the arch of the bridge. This runs for about 150 meters or so, with the ground below you gradually descending to meet the river. You start at about 20 meters and end at about 70 meters high, the problem is that the walkway is basically a steel mesh and so you can see everything below you. I was shaking like a sh*ting dog! To make matters worse, you all stop every now and then to have a look around at the terrifying view of the roads beneath you whilst being told that this is the section most people find the scariest, great. If that wasn't bad enough, one section of the gantry seemed to be a temporary section, whilst some work was going on and appeared to be held up by some wires, this just happened to be at the highest point, it still makes me shiver :) Eventually we reached the huge stone columns that you can see in the photographs and began to climb a series of ladders to reach the bottom of the arch. This meant that you climbed level with and then above the road with cars and trains thundering past your head, quite cool. Once we reached the arch itself I breathed a sigh of relief. Walking up the arch is the easy bit, there are handrails on either side of you, its really, really wide and completely solid, no seeing whats below you're feet. You can equate it to climbing a mountain and like most mountains, the views are spectacular! You can't quite believe you're up there staring down at the Opera House and arguably the most beautiful harbor on the planet. Once again its an experience that will stay with us forever and so a massive thanks to everyone on CCU that chipped in for it and especially to Lucy whose idea it was and to James for sorting it out! The return journey along the gantry proved to be just as scary, so thanks for that to!

What more could you want from a day? Well for Sam, courtesy of a free ticket from Vix, things were about to get even better. As a surprise, she was told just a few minutes before she went that she was going to see Kylie on her comeback debut! As Vix only had the one ticket I headed into town and bravely sat in McDonalds stuffing my face before heading into the arcades to shoot the crap out of some bad ass computer dudes. I met the girls afterwards who were smelling of cheap fizzy wine and looking a bit teary from the emotion of it all and had clearly had a brilliant time of it. The photos looked great actually and the lightshow featuring lots of lazers, had me wishing I'd been able to go myself.
We spent our final day in Sydney down and around Bondi beach. The beach was rammed with folk as it was a weekend and we were really there to have a walk around the clifftops nearby where there was a sculpture festival on. There was some great stuff on display, looking even better against the backdrop of the cliffs and the sea. We sat down at another bit of the harbor later enjoying some beers, before getting on a ferry for a last look at the bridge and Opera house. We spent our last night in Sydney at a Czech bar, followed by a Thai take-away. How very Australian!

Sydney Slideshow

Currently Reading: New Zealand - Lonely Planet

Listening to: The Beatles - A Hard Days Night

Everybody Needs Good Neighbours.

2006-11-06T07:47:00.000Z

Hello from gorgeous Melbourne! Due to artistic map interpretation, the chosen route revealed a great mathematical problem, expressed in terms of hours. Rather than go via Canberra (boring), I decided we should take the coast road down to the state of Victoria from NSW. Being an extra 200km, I'd anticipated it taking a couple hours extra. 18 hours after departing the Sydney suburbs (rather than the estimated 9), the van atmosphere was being subjected to much swearing and an air of despondancy was looming heavily. Further annoyance occurred when we realised that the coastal route revealed very little in the way of coast. The primary driver was feeling the effects of having covered a total of 13,000 km, while the secondary driver tried to justify her measly 60km contribution over the past 8 weeks. But no time for this! We had a new city to explore and one which promised greatness in the fields of art and culture.

You might remember our friends Gino & Frankie whom we met diving in Borneo. They are living in Melbourne so we kind of invited ouselves to stay. Our first night here was one of much wine and beer, reminiscing about orang utans and eating Japanese. Unfortunately, Frankie is working in India at the mo, so we didn't get to see her and with Gino working all weekend, we set out on our own to negotiate the trams, feeling extra scruffy around the hords of Melbournians setting out in their glad rags for the Melbourne Cup horseraces. The races are a massive deal around here and it goes on for a week, with a public holiday and a big piss-up thrown in. The city itself is very exciting with lots of quite distinct regions. There's bohemian Fitzroy, upmarket Prahran and cosmopolitan Carlton. The first thing which struck us is the multicultural aspect of the city. There's a substantial Chinatown and we ended up watching a demonstration agianst communism in China and its shocking organ trade.

Gino & Frank live in St. Kilda which is basically very like Brighton for it's cafe-scene, rollicking pubs and tacky seaside amusements of Luna Park. It's a place full of life and there seems to be a tranquil co-existence between backpackers, trendy bars and restaurants and prostitutes. For all our travelling, and worldliness, it took us a while to catch on. One day we found ourselves in Grey Street, and while Andy stopped to make a phone call, I stood on the street corner and found quite a few people giving me the once-over. Well, I might not be as daringly dressed in my travellers uniform as the woman over the road in a tiny red dress slashed to the hip, but I was comfortable. And afterall, Melbourne weather is noriously warm one minute, raining the next. A couple of homeless people passed by and the people in the flash cars seemed to be cruising around quite slowly.... It slowly dawned on me that this was perhaps the red light district and perhaps I should be retreating from the corner.

An more respectable aspect of St. Kilda are the phenomenal cake shops of Acland Street. There are massive calorie-towers of cream and custard everywhere you look tempting you with a wedge of cheesecake, even though you've just conquered a greasy inferno of breakfast big enough for a family of three. We haven't been able to eat out much, so seeing and experiencing all this food was great, but how big are the portions here? Are we in Texas? Thank goodness for Melbourne's famous tram network, rescuing me from the indignity of having to be rolled into town. Offering to get you around Melbourne in a confusing and unpredictable manner, you finally end up somewhere near the town centre. There you can wonder at all this big buildings housing galleries and museums which you'll never have time to visit as it's just all too sociable here. One thing we did manage to squeeze in to the agenda was a visit to the gaol (Flan, I know you understand).

The Old Melbourne Gaol is famous for executing outlaw and cult hero Ned Kelly, along with 135 other nasty pasties. It also houses a gruesome array of their death-masks. These were made after the baddie was pronounced dead in order to examine the brain and cranium. "Phrenology" was used by the pioneers of criminology in the 19th centuary to determine whether they really had possessed an 'evil brain.' The skull was divided into 35 sections, linking each with specific physical, mental and moral characteristics. The area just above the ears was dedicated to 'destructiveness' and it was found that this region was very prominent in many of the death masks examined. Although it is now totally discredited as a science, it was well in vogue at this time and the phrenologist who examined the mask of Ned Kelly said he was a man clearly destined for a life of crime.

The loos were situated just by the gallows and I became very scared as a went in there just as the goal was closing. I convinced myself I could hear a low moaning noise, even though I was the only visitor left. When we were showing Gino the photos that night, I felt a nasty chill creep through my body. Looking at this photo (below) of Andy's floating head, I noticed an ominous figure floating spookily down the opposite gaol corridor. There had been nobody else in the frame - I'd specifically waited until the coast was clear for my shot. Worse still, the figure seems to be headless and without hands. Closer inspection on the computer revealed another terrible sighting - that of what I reckon to be Ned Kelly's ghost - look at the far right of the photo. I'm totally not winding anyone up here. Please believe me, as nobody else has so far. There is also a light orb on the right hand side, for anyone interested in such phenomena, condsidered by many to be the spirits of the dead.

An exploration of Chinatown and the wonders of BYO booze sorted out our hangovers from the previous night. The next day, we met Jason & Jodie who were nurses in Brighton during their travels 3 years ago. We were very excited about meeting up and a bit of a day-long session ensued involving lots of food and booze. Jason did remarkably well considering he's rolled in at 8 that morning after the races! The evening culminated in a legendary burger (our second) and a longing need for bed. It was great to see them, the non-stop talking only punctuated by frequent trips to the bar. Gino has the comfiest sofa-bed imaginable - so nice after so long in the Scooby Doo. And not having to go outside with a torch on your head for the loo in the middle of the night is a long-forgotten luxury.

Monday night at the Elephant & Wheelbarrow is Neighbours night! Can you imagine the excitement as we headed down to the pub, willing to depart with 25 dollars each for the opportunity to meet Neighbours stars past and present at the popular trivia night! Having already rehersed what I was going to say to Harold Bishop, I'd even bought a new cardie for the occasion and some good idea at the time shoes. Gino's mate Hannah works in the pub and apparently The Bishop is a bit of a letch and loves all the attention. What a photo opportunity for the blog awaited us! Carl Kennedy also plays with his jazz band down there and Lou Carpenter is another regular on a Monday night. Lou Carpenter! The man who most resembles those dinosaurs in vests and no pants on that kids programme which used to be on on a Sunday tea-time. Heids knows what I'm on about - what was it called?? All the excitement and tension was rising as we approached the pub. But, we'd spent too long scoffing Gino's great curry to get there in sufficient time. It had sold out! Seemed that Paul Robinson (Don' It Make Ya Feel Guuud?) was headlining that night, along with Sky and Stingray (?) Clearly much has happened since the red-back spider incident for Sky and I'm sorry to have missed it. This above all, is another reason to return to Melbourne one day! Oh, and the art galleries, and Fitzroy and Ramsey Street itself.

The Great Ocean Drive is one of the things everyone tells you is a must-see. It's basically a long stretch of road from about Anglesea to around Port Fairy, south of Melbourne. It was another grey day and the secondary driver was knackered and so not in the mood. Well, all in all it wasn't that great until we got to the bit called the 12 Apostles, which was truly gorgeous. The rest of it you can keep. You basically risk crashing 'cos you're so into looking at the ocean and indeed 350 people have done in the last 5 years. The place would have been perfect were it not invaded by coach-loads of Koreans taking 200 photos and basically getting in the way of yours. It was bitterly freezing, so we took the snaps and then headed off.... for a bit.

Earlier in the day, all the warning lights had been illuminated on the van's dashboard. Andy didn't seem particularly concerned so we had a row about it as I forced him to phone someone (I didn't care who). The feller he spoke to said that if the oil and water were OK and it was running OK not to worry about it. I had one of those intuitive feelings which are usually discredited but somehow this was different. As we did a quick u-turn to take a picture of this pesky Echindna, a kind of anteater, we realised that the we couldn't re-start the engine. The battery seemed totally flat, which was a bit weird as we'd been merrily driving along only seconds before.

The Echidna was quite happily snuffling around in the grass, but we were totally stuck and in the middle of nowhere. Trouble was, we didn't have a mobile to call for help. Luckily, a friendly cyclist stopped and said we could borrow his phone... when he found out what we did for a living, he even offered a place to stay for the night, being the grateful recipient of some recent cardiac care! Well, he seemed very nice, but we called for recovery instead and we towed miles away to a dodgy place called Colac. Thankfully they had a cinema, to alleviate the boredom of sleeping in the van parked in the street outsude the garage. We watched an arthouse film called Jindabyne (more murderous Aussie antics). Next day we had to wait about 8 hours to get a new alternator fitted, before heading back to Melbourne. So, thanks to yet more van trouble, we lost a day to Colac! We didn't get to cook Gino that meal to say "Thanks so much for having us!" So sorry about that Gino - it was great seeing you and thanks again!

Next week on www.andyandsam.blogspot.com : Will the van make it to Syney?

Now reading : Water for Elephants by Sarah Gruen.

Bloody Great Sharks!!! (Aussie Accent)

2006-11-01T23:21:00.000Z

I knew this dive was gonna be good. Big sharks + Andy and Sam = Knee wobbling Excitement. It's a simple equation and only one thing could stop it working out....the weather, but we were due a change in fortunes after our last dive and the weather turned good :) Fun and Sunshine, there's enough for everyone. I'm quoting classic stuff here.
South West Rocks then was our destination, about an hour south of Coffs Harbour, kind of halfway between Brisbane and Sydney. We'd heard via the great Galah Jason and a diving magazine of a dive site where you could get up close and personal with some Grey Nurse sharks. Being nurses, how could we resist? These sharks are big docile creatures, but with big sharky teeth which makes them look a bit fierce, a bit like a scary looking sheep really. We chose a dive company called South West Rocks Dive Cent re which is a family owned affair and who turned out to be the polar opposite of the last bunch, who were a bunch of ******s to be honest. John and Murray were our hosts for the day and what a nice pair they were. We both took an instant liking to them, immediately trustworthy, jokey, laidback proper Aussie blokes. After sorting out our kit at the shop, which was in great condition this time, we jumped on their small boat and headed down the river and out onto the sea. First we had to get the boat over the breaking waves which basically entailed going straight into them leaving us completely drenched, luckily we were in our wetsuits and so the experience was akin to the Wet and Wild theme park :) Half an hour later we were anchored off the South West Rocks, two small outcrops just off the coast. We struggled into our gear and back-rolled off the boat into the blue. As always Sam took forever to get herself down to meet the rest of us and then we started swimming to our destination, a trench formed by the rock at a depth of 25 meters. Peering over the edge and looking into the trench 3-4 meters below us, 8-10 very cool, Grey Nurse sharks were slowly cruising up and down. The biggest of them was maybe 8-9 ft long, a healthy size! After watching them for a couple of minutes, we floated down to the bottom of the trench, the floor of which was filled with crushed shells and lay down. We then spent pretty much the rest of the dive just lying there and watching the sharks swimming past us at no more than 1-2 meters away at times.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, life just doesn't get better than that! We didn't feel any fear whatsoever, knowing that they're not interested in us as dinner certainly helped. Here is a film I took which starts with Sam signing to me 'how much air have you got left?' and me ignoring her :) and panning round to see a shark swimming towards us, my best film yet! It was definitely one of my best dives, but I was glad to get back on the boat, it was freezing, 18 degrees Celsius underwater in Australia!

We spent an hour inbetween the dives drinking soup and eating lollies, which in Oz are sweets not lollipops (weirdo's) and getting called 'whinging poms' cause we said it was cold :) All good banter and helped take my mind off the gently rocking boat. Grabbing our kit on again we plunged back into the cold waters for our second dive and headed down to 14 meters to have a look at the cave that this dive site is well known for. The cave runs all the way under the rocks over a distance of about 100 meters or so. We chickened out of going through the whole length as its pitch black, you need a torch and its quite narrow in places and leaning towards claustrophobia, it wasn't an experience I was eager to have a go at. If you were going to swim through the cave normally, you dive down to about 24 meters where there is a small, dark entrance to the cave. You enter the cave and after a couple of meters you then swim up a narrow chimney for about 4 meters, before swimming down the rest of the cave which leads you to the exit at about 14 meters depth. All this in the dark and in single file, with no possibility of turning round whilst you're in the cave. Apparently there's a really big Stingray in there and also lots of lobsters, which would have been cool to see. Instead what we did, was to swim to the caves exit, which is big, room enough for 4 divers or so to swim in and whilst the other divers went further into the cave, we hung out just inside the exit. Going into the cave about 3-4 meters there was a big Bull Ray lying on the floor (the type that did for Steve Irwin), not the really big one further into the cave, but still a decent size, maybe 4ft diameter. The cave was full to bursting with literally thousands of small fish called bullseyes. It was amazing swimming through them and then looking at them against the light shining down from the surface. Amongst the rocks on the floor of the cave, I discovered some Mooray Eels, very inquisitive little fellas, very interested in my camera. A very nice Lionfish was also swimming about and some nice red Squirrelfish were lounging about on the rocks outside the cave. We spent most of the dive in the cave, when the other divers returned we swam back underneath the boat, where I surfaced immediately as I was freezing and Sam swam on for another 10 minutes with John and saw another couple of sharks, the lucky girl.
The ride home on the boat was a bit of a mare, really choppy sea and I came within about a second of being sick, Sam was fine of course. All in all, one of the best dives we've done and goes to show how much a good dive crew can make the experience even better.

Next up: Melbourne

Listening to: Bjork - Debut

Currently Reading: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

Gold Coast... Gold Sandals, Golden Gaytimes and Golden Oldies.

2006-10-29T23:33:00.000Z

This week of "Round Australia in 75 days" sees us in Brissy, going Wet 'n' Wild, getting with the dudes in Surfer's Paradise and reminiscing about Brighton with the winos and weirdos of Byron Bay. We've now left the tropics of Queensland and now find ourselves in the state of New South Wales. In honor of all things golden, Andy has been drawn to trying a ice lolly called a "Golden Gaytime" and I keep telling him he's not allowed.
So this is where old people come on holiday to work on their handbags...

Brisbane is the home of our lovely Cameron, so we were expecting it to be pretty ripper. It was a gorgeous day when we arrived in the city and whiled away a few hours in bookshops, looking at the odd selection of clothing in the high street shops. Now, nobody really looks that bad walking down the streets of Australia, so where do they buy their clothes? I know what you're thinking! Those heinous blue fishing trousers and a black vest have all but become part of my connective tissues holding me together, but it's like my uniform now and it feels wrong to look any smarter or (heaven forbid) any different. Horrifically, they are finally starting to come apart at the seams. I feel a purchase coming on!

So we bought a lot of nice books with lovely front covers, had some sushi at a place with a fondness for avocado in every roll (magnificent) and then had a cup of coffee OUTSIDE. By this I mean not concocted on a gas ring in the camper and swerved in our Rhino mugs. Now that I'm a "Wildlife Warrior" I need to buy animal-related items only. Wandering about the city - quite pleasant really - revealed the usual finds of a big city. Hoards of Japanese students drinking a funny thing called "Bubble Tea" which I don't think contains any tea, but is like a milkshake with balls of psychedelic tapioca in the bottom. You couldn't make it up, eh? To our dismay, the art gallery was closed, so we left the bright sunshine for the dankness of an underground internet place. Andy felt most at home - lots of pasty grown up men playing computer games. We happened upon an Aboriginal man doing his didgeridoo thing and we stopped to listen for a while. He was creating this amazing sound with a dancey beat - it was really good and the most indigenous experience we've had as yet! I suppose you have to venture into the middle of this enormous landmass rather than skirt around the edges for more didgeridoodling and rock art.

That evening, we thought it was high time we caught a film. Anyhoo, it was as brilliant as it was confusing, with the genious himself Jack Nichoson playing a wonderful part. By the end of it I had a cracking headache from all the concentration and adrenaline. Due to time constraints, we headed off again bright and early to the Gold Coast. En route, we did a spontaneous thing which wasn't actually in the schedule until the following day, and stopped off at Wet 'n' Wild. Lured from the motorway by the vision of massive twirly waterslides was sufficient to get us in our bikinis.

Five hours worth of aquatic anctics, began with a couple of gentle slides and then some kind of race with strangers where you lie on a mat on your stomach and launch yourself off the top. Supposedly quite a safe option, I managed to somehow punch myself in the face which was quite painful. Enough of this girly rides, it was time to enter the 'Extreme Section!' My favourite ride of the whole day was where you sat on this huge clover-leaf style inflatable (one bottom per hole) and you get thrown down a very-steep slide and then the stored-up velocity forces you to hurtle up the side of an enormous funnel. Apparently it's better if there's more of you on the clover leaf, so we paired up with a very friendly couple. There was a lot of screaming (from Andy) and we repeated the process three times. Another winner was the kamikaze-style sheer-drop water slide, which actually causes you to loose conact with the slide's surface for a couple of seconds. I could almost taste my bikini upon becoming stationary. Not attractive.

Continuing the drive, we went to Surfer's Paradise... and promptly went back out the other side! It was totally not what we were expecting! All high-rise buildings and hotels, it was more Miami meets Blackpool than a laid-back beach full of dudes. Toying with the notion of perhaps having a surfing lession the following day, we camped out at Burleigh Heads, where the surf is supposed to be superior. Neglecting the concept of the surf lession, we found ourselves in Byron Bay, hopeful of somewhere more chilled-out. And in Byron Bay we found it! It instantly transported us to our home-town, with it's aged hippies (the REAL hippies), laid-back ambience and old salty dogs drinking neat bottles of Bundaberg on the street. Imagine our delight when a thoroughly unpleasant speciment entered the post office all boozed-up demanding to be served. A top Whitehawk moment, fazing the staff into a frenzy and (after he'd left) precipitating "Brenda, can I have that Mogadon milkshake now!?" from a lady with a flushed neck who'd handled the situation quite admirably.

Julian Rocks is rated as one of Australia's Top 10 dive sites. There are two dive companies in Byron take trips out to the rocks. We chose the wrong one. To anyone who might be coming this way "Byron Bay Dive Centre" is the one with the unenthusiastic staff, the unfriendly staff and the falling-to-bits equipment. Lady Luck seems to be on holiday at the moment, so the day of our dive was a dismal rainly one. Peering out to the rocks revealed a not-too choppy looking sea, but the rocks, looked manacing enough. An elderly lady who seemed to be affiliated to the dive school (never a good sign) kitted us out in older-than-she-was gear, whilst clutching a cup of tea. Andy asked our dive 'guide' (no, not a Dive Master or even an Instructor, but a guide?) what we could expect to see under the sea. He replied "Fish" in a monotone and gave us a bit of a scary-stare. What a freak. A little more coaxing brought him to the conclusion that we might see some sharks, but the visibility wouldn't be great.

Well, we set out in a little inflatable boat, with 12 of us filling it to capacity. There was barely enough room to stand with fins on, let alone manoevre into BCD. It was at this point I realised that my ancient BCD was so worn, the velcro no longer functioned. The bloke didn't seem to think this was a problem and that whilst I was swimming, it would stay put. A shaky backwards-roll into the sea found me (surprise surprise) unable to descend. A freezing 19 degrees meant that we neede a 5 mm wetsuit - providing the ease of movment that wearing a roll of carpet around each limb might. It also makes you float like a cow carcass. The bloke on the boat shouted at me that "Well, of course you're not going to descend when you're on the surface!" 'Scuse me? Have I been getting it wrong all this time - what's he on about? "You have to swim down!!"

After much hauling myself down on the boat's mooring line, I reached the others. After not very long, we met a Wobbegong shark, looking quite cool just sitting on the seabed. They are also called carpet sharks due to their '70's interior design pattern and get pretty big. A saunter along introduced us to several more Wobbegongs, but little in the way of fish that I can remember. My main recollection of the dive was the bit where we lost Andy. You could only see a few metres in front of you (10 at best) and suddenly he was gone. The panic began to rise as I twanged my wanger - still no sign. Worse still, the disappearance had gone unnoticed by Mr. Personality of the year dive-guide. I eventually managed to communicate my distress to him and we slowly retraced our fins. After what seemed like ages, we found him - he'd been taking a picture of the shark and lost sight of us pretty quickly. He'd been having a panic aswell, but had done the sensible thng and gone back to the Wobby. You might imagine the telling off he received from me when we surfaced!

I opted out of the second dive (largely to recover!) as I hadn't been too impressed with any of it - the kit, the team, the visibility. They didn't even ask me why I wasn't diving again they just replied "Well, you won't get a refund." Nice, thanks very much. Andy continued, unabashed. Though he saw nothing more spectacular and the visibility was further reduced. My saunter round the second-hand bookshops sounded much more pleasant. A wander up to the lighthouse on Cape Byron the following morning, revealed all that you want to find in a lighthouse. A source of light to warn ships of the deadly rocks below and plenty of Fraggles. This marks the most Easterly point in mainland Australia and is beautifully rugged and picturesque. So Byron Bay - lovely, Julian Rocks - bad. My advice - wait until you get to The Solitary Islands...

Currently Reading: On Beauty by the wonderful Zadie Smith.

Film of the Week: The Departed - Absolutely brilliant!

Listening to: The Wedding Present - Bizarro

Crikey! It's Australia Zoo!

2006-10-25T07:15:00.000+01:00

On our way to the zoo we came to the town of Noosa, a right little tourist mecca and no mistake. What drags all these fair dinkum Aussies here? The beach is a corker, the river with its lazy sandbanks, birdlife and fishing is stunning and there's a gorgeous little National Park running from the town along the coast, where you can catch a glimpse of a whale or a dolphin if you're lucky (we saw a dolphin). We found a cracking little campsite by the river and the next day got up early to give the hoards a miss and headed to the Park for a walk. We had a spring in our step that morning, we were on a hunt, a hunt for the illusive Koala! We had seen signs around telling us they were here, so walking along the coast we craned our necks staring up into the tall, silvery Eucalyptus trees hoping for a glimpse. These fella's are hard to spot, for one they're grey like the tree bark and so blend in very well, also, they tend to sleep for 20 hours a day! Obviously this means they don't move about much, making them even harder to spot, but luck was on our side. Having only walked about 100 meters along the path I spied what at first I thought was a big knot in the tree branch, on closer inspection it proved to be a Koala! We were well excited and spent ages looking at the little fella. I took the opportunity to use some of my recent naturalist skills learnt in Borneo from the Orang Utan spotters and taking off my shoe, thwaked the tree until the Koala woke up :) looking very confused and tired. A bit cruel I know, but 20 hours sleep? There's a time to sleep and a time to wake up and see the 2 tourists waving at you from below. The top photo is from Australia zoo, it was too cute not to put on and the other one is just after the wild one woke up :)

Australia Zoo was originally built in the 70's by Bob Irwin and was primarily a reptile house. Steve Irwin took over the management of it in the early 90's from his Dad and using his growing fame funded the redevelopment of the place. Basically whatever you think of zoo's, it's a corking place and the standards are very high, it's almost as good as Singapore Zoo (still our No.1). It was a great day, but definitely tinged with a bit of sadness, especially when we saw all the Kharki shirts on display with messages from Steve's friends and admirers. He was a bit of a wally, but it seems to me that he did a lot for wildlife protection and conservation and also made me laugh a lot as he chased 'naughty' snakes and 'cranky' crocs.
The zoo itself is mainly devoted to Australian animals, but does have Tiger and Elephant enclosures too. Like a lot of Australian tourist attractions it's a great place for kids and there are endless opportunities to stroke animals. So we did! We both went up and stroked a Koala (how could you not?) and got our photo taken, but sadly I can't publish it on the blog as I've come out looking particularly evil, looking like I'm wanting to kill the Koala, so instead I thought I'd put this delightful image of Samantha and her Kangeroo friend. As well as animal petting, also on offer is croc feeding, although you don't get to feed it the beast. As seen on Steve's TV show's you get to watch a chap demonstrating the crocodiles 'natural' behaviors in the wild, which entails standing near the water and watching the croc slowly moving under the surface and then getting well out of the way as it comes in for the kill. The croc was called 'Acco' and was Huge! About 16ft long, it was a true monster and was fed 3 whole chickens and a rabbit just during the show (all dead). The bloke feeding the croc looked uncanily like Steve Irwin too which made it all the more surreal.
Next up was the Venomous Snake House, featuring all the deadliest snakes in Australia. Flan you would have loved it! Normally the snake section of a zoo can be a bit boring as snakes tend to lie there doing nowt, to our happy surprise these ones were up and about, slithering all round their enclosures. It's always more interesting looking at snakes when you know that they're all utterly deadly, obviously numero uno king daddy of the snake world, the Brown snake was there, which can basically kill you just with a look! According to the zoo, the 3rd deadliest snake is the Taipan (pictured) which is also insanely deadly and can kill you with the power of its mind! It also has arguably the coolest name, although the Death Adder comes a very close 2nd on that score.

To finish our day off we popped over to the Tiger area where they were demonstrating different skills and abilities of their tigers. The tigers have been hand reared by their keepers, so that they're used to having them in in their enclosure, not something I've seen before. If the tigers feel like it, then they'll play along with the keepers, who get them to show off by using milk. One of the blokes help up a carton of milk against a tree and the tiger was up on its hind legs having a drink, which showed how massive it really was. The tigers had a big pool as well, right against the glass of their living area and they got them to swim about in it and also by chucking in a massive ball, the tigers were leaping into the water after it, which was pretty impressive to watch. I noticed one tiger seemed to take a liking to a small boy, I'm not sure how long the boy would have lasted with the tiger :)
I was going to say I'm sure we'll get bored with all this wildlife stuff at some point, but I think we're more and more obsessed with it every day, I'm even catching myself liking birds, the most boring of all creatures. I still hate moths and wasps and in fact plan their downfall every day! Mwah hah ha!!!

Australia Zoo Slideshow

Listening to: Orbital - The Blue Album

Fraser Island... and the many hazards of Oz.

2006-10-21T09:54:00.000+01:00

Hervey Bay is the gateway to the much-loved Fraser Island, the largest sand-island in the world. It's a very sandy place, reputedly containing more sand than the Sahara Desert! Another sandy feature are the 224 metre high sand-dunes, necessitating a 4-wheel drive to access the place. In light of this, we had to abandon the van and succumb to a dreaded guided day-tour. Arising at 5:45 for the priveledge was no joke, but it was to be a day of adventure. As luck would have it, the skies above were a worrying grey, dotted with black clouds. Not a fortuitous start, I thought, as we bumbled along to the marina, bypassing some scary-
looking birds with massive curved beaks.

Looking out onto a choppy sea, I thought about how lethal the waters around the Fraser Coast are supposd to be - something to which Vic Hislop would testify. Not only are there unruly sea conditions and undertows, but sharks of the man-eating variety are found here in abundance. Namely, Great Whites, Tigers and Bull (or Whaler) sharks. (This is where he caught most of his specimens). He is clearly a man proud of his life's work - there is another of his freak shows here! As these sharks often swim very close to the shore in knee-deep water, you really want to be keeping your feet dry (and sandy).

After boarding the ferry for the 35 minute journey to the island, we were treated to the sight of a very big Leopard Ray in the shallow water beneath the jetty. We followed his progress along the sandy bottom and promptly saw another smaller ray soon afterwards. This instantly perked me up - who cares about the weather? A short jaunt along the boardwalks of the posh resort, brought is to an abrupt stop. Steve, our guide, threw his arm across our path just in time to prevent a Sam & Andy / double brown snake interaction. "Were they poisonous?" asked an eager Andy "Oh yes - the brown ones are!" said Steve quietly, whilst shouting out to the rest of the group who'd missed them scuttling back to the scrub that they were "nothing to worry about - it's the brown ones you have to watch out for!" It always pays to be teacher's pet at the front of the group.

As if sharks and snakes aren't enough of a concern, you need to watch out for the Dingoes - the wild dogs which have become increasingly anti-social due to being fed by tourists over the years. If only this was known back in 1980 when Lindy Chamberlain claimed that "a Dingo stole my baby." During a camping trip near Ayers rock, the Chamberlain's baby daughter was stolen from their tent, never to be seen again. Failing to recognise that dingoes could do this kind of dastardly deed, poor old Lindy was convicted for murder and 'banged up in the slammer.' Sadly, a 9-year old boy was mauled in 2001, thus leading to increasing hesitance towards the act of cuddling wild dogs. They then went and shot 30 dingoes in response and at this time, pure-bred dingoes are now an endangered species, with only 150-200 remaining on Fraser Island. I've seen 'em in the zoo and they look incredibly wolf-like and unfriendly. I'd rather kiss Elvis, my brother's Rottweiler (and believe me, that would take a lot) than going near one of those beasts. Bizarrely, we watched the film "Cry in the Dark" whilst staying at The Davis in Bangkok. I just knew that Meryl Streep, despite a fretful bowl-cut hair style, was telling the truth.

Our first stop was Lake McKenzie, reputedly a magical spot featuring a lake of pure rainwater. If you are able to envisage a beautiful blue sky and erase the beautifying-effects of the emergncy poncho, you can imagine how gorgeous this place would be. Everyone else looked extremely miserable, but we made the best of the situation like a pair of simpletons and splashed about wearing our celophane sreations. The sand is silica granite, like Whitehaven beach and the lake is extremely pure. It is prevented from leaching into the sand by a layer of rotting vegetation or humus. Chickpeas are marvellous things. Considering the nippy weather, the water was nice and warm. It maintains a pH of 4.5-4.8 and is magic for washing your hair in. According to our guide, Steve ("your guide, your driver and hopefully by the end of the day - your friend") you don't need shampoo or conditioner and when you come out your hair will be fluffy and gorgeous. You can also buff your jewellery by scrubbing it with the wet sand. Forgoing the opportunity to be transformed into something fluffy and shiny, we went in search of sustinence.

Steve is a man who thrives on repetition. Throughout the morning, he said "in a minute we'll stop off for a cup of tea and a muffin... maybe a biscuit," several times. By the time it had been uttered four times, it became very funny. By the time he'd said it seven times (no exaggeration), it was to become hilarious. His love of saying everything several times actually apppealed to my dim memory, meaning we (yes, even Andy!) were able to absorb a lot of information. And he like to chat. With more than a passing resemblance to my Dad and Alan Titchmarch, we were loving Steve by the end of the day!

Being on a 4WD bus is quite a novelty and quite necessary to negotiate the rough sand tracks of Fraser. Following a very rainy cup of tea and a muffin, we bounced our way towards the sub-tropical rainforest section of the island, listening to Steve providing commentary by means of a Madonna-style microphone headset. A very pleasant walk through the forest protected us from the rain and we marvelled at the jewel-bright colours of the palm and the creepers post rainfall. It was a different type of rainforest again, and the only one in the world to have sprouted and thrived in sand. Some pretty massive trees loomed above us and a crystal clear creek ran though its centre. A brief herding later and we were in a hotel having lunch, and then we headed for the beach. Yipee - more sand! Along the beach, the eerie Maheno shipwreck juts from the beach. A passenger ferry blown ashore in the clutches of a cyclone in 1935 on its way to the scrapyard, the top of the Maheno now peeks out of the sand as a rusting lump - much of it buried underneath. The joy of watching idiots running around atop the rusting carapace despite the signs warning them not to! My day would have been complete had one bloke in particular fallen through the structure, receiving a tetanus-complicated open fracture, as he managed to be in all of my photos. Oh why can't people behave?

Eli Creek was our next top, another source of crystal-clear, fast-moving water. I'm sure it's very nice on a hot day, but we didn't join in the rest of the miserable group for their wade down the creek. Everyone was falling asleep, but Steve carried on regardless and droppd us off at yet another destination (our third so far) to be named "The Pinnacles." These lumps of sandstone are banded with different colours due to mineral deposits and weren't nearly as impressive as 'the proper' Pinnacles. Not sure I could take much more without another cup of tea and a muffin...maybe a biscuit, but we were deposited once more to catch sight of the sand dunes. And so the day of fun came to a close. Damn those group tours, but Steve made it so much better!

This may be digressing, and yes, the detail is necessary. We've been having some quite spectacular dreams of late, but it's rare they can be recalled. The other morning I awoke abruptly to the sound of Andy doing a little trump. Allegedly, I sat bolt upright in bed and exclaimed "Was that a yak?" before rolling over and going back to sleep. As it's unsafe to let one go whilst wearing a wetsuit, he's certainly making up for lost time. Time to ban the mung beans and keep him away from the trees.

Currently listening to : Andy's Organic Sounds (not yet available in HMV).

Currently managing to escape this stressful life by reading: Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.

The Long and Winding Road...

2006-10-21T09:32:00.000+01:00

With great relief we trod once again upon Terra Firma, the high, rocking waves left far behind us and jumped into our camper to begin the long drive south. What you need after feeling sea sick for the best part of three days is little movement and a very still horizon, because you know you're going to start feeling boaty again, cause that's the way it works. What we did instead was to drive 20 k up an improbably windy, pants wettingly, steep mountain in order to reach the Atherton Tablelands area. The views as the sun was setting were great, although the landscape did seem to be tilting up and down somewhat. We secured a campsite for the night in a small town that could have come straight out of Deliverence and woke up the next morning to the Tablelands proper.
No idea why it's called the Tablelands, but its an area of undulating green hills, a plethora of waterfalls and some cracking wildlife. We managed to cram all the culture and beauty into one packed day of sight seeing which was helped by a circular route that took in several waterfalls and a couple of lakes. Lake Eacham was particularly pretty and we whiled away an hour or so checking out the little turtles swimming about and the massive Pelican that was practicing its taking off. These lakes and waterfalls seem to be impressively clean and clear and there were signs saying it was ok to swim and several people splashing about, enjoying a lazy Sunday, no doubt with a few stubbies (of VB Jason!). We wound our way along and came to the Milla Milla Waterfall, easily the most pituresce of the ones we saw. Its weird driving through what looks like English countryside (only better, bigger and sunnier) and coming across rainforest in the middle of it all, such a diverse place. Its a stunning area of Eastern Oz to drive through, where the drive to your destination is as good as the destinations themselves. Wildlife wise, it was good to see the turtles and there are a lot of beautiful birds flying about, all sorts of eagles, ospreys, herons, parrots, it's a bird lovers dream really. We had our beady eyes out for the tree kangeroo, but didn't spot any, a bit hard to see when you're driving.
The next day we carried on south and stopped off for a quick ly about on Mission beach. A totally gorgeous stretch of sand, far nicer than Cape Trib and other northern Queensland beaches that we'd been to, where Sam managed to buy some circa '89 Australian Geographic mags full of pics of places we'd been in Oz and in Borneo and also some proper hot (ish) chilies, seemingly hard to come by in Oz so far. The afternoon found us in Paluma National Park, another windy, steep drive, rewarded by great views of countryside and coast. One sentence doesn't really do any justice to it, but beer waits for no man as they say :)
Bypassing Townsville for no other reason than time constraints, we arrived in Ayr where we planned to book up a dive on the SS Yongala, supposedly one of the best dive sites on the planet. Unfortunately the weather for the next day was looking decidedly dodgy and not wanting to spend any more time feeling sea sick we called it off, I think Sam was slightly more pleased about this than me, when she discovered that there's a resident Bull shark at the wreck, one of the 'bad' sharks. I'd loved to have seen a Bull shark, but not at the expense of my stomach contents going over-board :) Ayr was a really wierd little town full of hicks and we were pleased to leave it later that day. We were less pleased about 1/2 hour later on to discover that I'd left my Memory card at an internet shop and had to return to the stupid place and camp there the night as the shop had shut for the night!
Continuing south, we arrived at Arlie Beach, a small town on the coast which is the gateway to the Whitsunday islands. Before we embarked on a cruise around the islands we spent an entertaining day in and around the town itself. First up was a visit to Vic Hislop's Shark expo. Vic is a complete git who spent many years killing sharks through some warped attempt at saving human lives. His laughable theories that some 'bad' types of sharks should be culled as not only were they a danger to man, but they also attacked 'family orientated animals' (I'm quoting here), such as whales, dolphins, turtles etc. There were 3-4 rooms full of Vic and his tacky pictures of dead sharks, he also had a 5 meter Great White shark frozen for you to gawp at, so we did. I deeply regretted paying the entrance fee afterwards, thankfully hunting Great Whites is now illegal as they're endangered.
Later that day we returned to our campsite, one we had chosen, because of its jumping pillow (which turned out to be a bit crap), we decided to have a game of Tennis. That's right me and Hamble played tennis and a classic Serve and Volley game it was too, if nothing else the astro-turf court exfoliated our feet and gave us some much needed pre beer exercise.
Due to our hectic schedule we had only time for an afternoon speedboat ride around the islands. They were discovered by our old friend Captain Cook, funnily enough on WhitSunday and jolly nice they are to. We made sure we got a tour to get us to Whitehaven beach, as recommended by Jason, basically the must see scenery of the islands. It's a 6k long beach whose sand is 95% silicon apparently, which means that it's stupidly fine and rather pleasingly squeaks when you walk on it. Our enchantingly dull tour guide informed us that it was actually mined and used in the construction of the Hubble telescope lens, the only interesting peice of information that day. We also enjoyed yet another day of waves and a subtle feeling of sickness, mmmmm, you'd think by now the sea would generally chill out about us sailing on it and just be calm for once.
We would love to have lounged about at the Whitsundays for a few days, but we had a plan to stick to and there was no stopping us as we pushed on further south. In fact covering about 800k over the next couple of days we zoomed down past Rockhampton and arrived at the Town of 1770. A very beautiful and peaceful little village getting it's name from a certain Captain Cook who landed there in a certain year. We had a delightful stroll around and a spot of lunch before once again taking the high road and heading for Fraser island, but that's another story...

Listening to: Ash - Free All Angels

Just Read: Richard Laymon - After Midnight Classic Trashy Horror, brilliant stuff!

Cod Almighty!

2006-10-16T05:52:00.000+01:00

Pass me that bucket Andy! We just returned from a 4 day dive safari on the Great Barrier Reef. Seeking the poshest and most fancy of expeditions, we opted for Taka Dive for our much-anticipated trip. The biggest draw was the opportunity to visit the world-famous Cod Hole, home to some giant potato cod and hopefully much more besides. The trouble with many trips to the Barrier Reef is that from the beach outwards, it is slowly dying. The nearer you are to Cairns, the more chance of it being over-trafficked, and at full bombardment from all kinds of man-made nightmares such as pollution. Rather than suffer some sub-standard diving, we were going to explore the outer reefs for some of the most pristine coral and marine-life around.

As we boarded the calm waters of Cairns that evening, we had no idea what was in store for us as the night progressed. This was to be our first ever liveaboard, so we didn't know quite what to expect. Adding to a group of 30 divers, we were welcomed on board by friendly, professional crew and had our first dive brief as we set sail. We were to sail up to the Cod Hole, a dive site some 13 hours North and roughly parallel with Cookstown. By the end of the dive brief, we were both feeling quick sick, so escaped dinner to seek refuge on the deck, in a bid to stare at the darkening horizon. Everyone else seeked OK, stuffing their dinner down and having a few beers. After medicating ourselves, we shot off to bed for an early night. Being the cheapskates we are, we were sharing a cabin with two blokes - one of whom was very strange and did a lot of staring at the ceiling. Stepping outside the cabin some time later revealed that someone had vomited right outside our door. It was pretty horrendous and what was more, it looked like we were responsible for the pea and carrot carnage.

Possibly the longest night in maritime history ensued as we rolled all over the place. At one point, it actually felt like we might be thrown from our bunks. I can safely say neither of us had a wink of shut-eye. During the night I'd gone upto the 'living room' as I was sure I could hear water leaking in. This location was no more settling, as I was able to hear the pots and pans being thrown around in the galley, the swivel chairs were wanging around of their own accord and the waves were crashing onto the deck. By the morning, the sea was calm and the reef (light green) beckoned us from the deck.

Unsurprisingly, we weren't feeling top-notch for first couple of dives at a site called Challenger Bay. Due to unseasonally rough conditions, it was too dangerous out at Cod Hole. that would have to wait until later. Nontheless, Challenger Bay provided us with pretty amazing dives. It was also our first time to go not in pursuit of an instructor, but just to dive in buddy pairs. After a spot of bother equalising my ears, we were in hot pursuit of a vast array of reef fish and pristine colourful coral. With a visibility of 25 metres, we were treated to sights of Unicorn Fish (second picture), Angelfish, Butterfly fish, a pair of Baracuda - film - (I think they were married), a large Blue Triggerfish, a huge Bumphead Parrotfish, Moorish Idols, Blue Sea Star, Table, Fire and Staghorn corals, Clown Triggerfish, Pineapple Sea Cucumber and an impressively large beige/yellow Maori Wrasse. Somehow Mr. Breathing-Control chugged all of his air pretty quickly, so we had to surface sooner than planned (he was excited, bless him).

After a mouthful of lunch (still suffering slightly) we arrived at the Cod Hole. This was to be the only time we were to dive as a group (and when there are 30 of you, that's a good thing). The residual current and the surface waves were a bit off-putting, but we stuck to the secret of being one of last to enter the water. This means, you spend less time getting thrown about and can descend quickly where the conditions are much better. As soon as we began our descent, we could see schools of big Red Bass circling the boat. To quote our dive master Andreas, Red Bass are a "prick of a fish" and proceeded to show us the scars they'd inflicted upon him in the past. Obviously wise to the knowledge of an easy feed, they swarmed around us ready for lunch. They have an initial white colouring, and turn red when they get excited or aggressive. They are poisonous if eaten and their dracula fangs were certainly a bit scary. We were all thankful to not be the one carrying the food bucket. One poor girl was having a terrible day and as soon as she put her foot in the water (no fins on), one took a chunk out of her foot!

We battled with the current for a short while until we reached the sandy cod feeding area. Here, we all formed as best a circle as was possible under the conditions (film), and watched the tea party commence. Along came the friendly potato cod, with his friend, the Maori Wrasse. Despite their size, they are very gentle and inquisitive so will stay with you for a long time. At this point, I noticed that the circle appeared to be smaller. As I looked around me, I realised that the surge had swept me into the middle of the circle and there I was face to face with the Maori Wrasse. He was gorgeous and I was able to clearly see the markings on his cheeks after which he is named. I then noticed that Andy was stroking the Potato Cod, who was acting just like an underwater labrador and seemed to be loving the attention it was receiving. Andreas seemed to be batting away Red Bass left right and centre and I think he was relieved when all the fish-food was gone (film). We then made our way to Shark Ally, where I was blissfully unaware of a 5 foot White-Tip Shark just next to us! Note the manic expression!

After dinner, it was almost time for the night dive (film). Not wanting to rock my newly-found confidence, I chickened out as it was truly dark by the time everyone had their gear on. Undeterred by jumping into inky waters full of night-predators (doesn't he realise that's when the big fellers come out for tea?), Andy teamed up with some Brazilian bird and off they went. Seeing them all in the water it looked more like some kind of search and rescue operation than something you might want to do recreationally. I paced about quite a lot waiting to see that little monkey-face pop back to the surface I can tell you.

That night we were only sailing for three hours and I didn't even hear the anchor dropping at midnight, so asleep was I after dinner and a beer. Conditions were so much calmer being stationary, that I think everyone had some welcome rest. The next morning, we got up for Steve's Bommie. Steve was an engineer on on of the dive boats and he's gone off for a solo dive (silly boy), never to be seen again. His body and SCUBA equipment have never been found, but it's thought that he went too deep for too long, got nitrogen narcosis and then just went off blue-water diving and ran out of air. I have to say, the dive briefs were never the most relaxing, but the crew were very on the ball and always checked out the current and conditions before we went down. The on-board engineer was a reassurrance, even if he seemed to be a bit of a nightmare.

A "Bommie", in case you're wondering is derived from the Aboriginal word 'bombora,' meaning submerged rock. It is used to describle large coral outcrops which rise towards the surface. Steve's begins 35 metres below sea level, where Wobbegong (carpet) sharks can be found. If you dive 30 metres or deeper you're pretty sure to get 'Narc'd' - sensation not dissimilar to having a few beers at lunchtime. Then you start to do scary things like pass your regulator over oncoming fish. In light of what happened to Steve, I was reluctant to go below 25 metres, so we began our dive at around 24 metres and slowly ascended by swimming around the Bommie. It proved to be an incredible, the pinnacle swathed in vibrant hard and soft corals, anemones and sea fans and sponges. The tip of the Bommie lies only 5 metres from the surface and if anything, the last

15 metres is the most stunning as a greater proportion of light is available to penetrate the water. Critters observed included a massive yellow Nudibranch, a couple of beautiful Lionfish,, Orange-lined Triggerfish, Pink Anemonefish (film) and Black Anemonefish, schooling Big-Eyed Trevally, Harlequin Sweetlips, Giant Clams, Coral Cod, Baracuda and the elusive Flame File Shell. Apparently, you won't find these things anywhere else in the world and appear attractive to fish by their red glowing light inside. Thought to be due to an ongoing chemical reaction, the fish think it's a disco and head on in, only they never leave the party.

A second dive (film) at this site revealed many of the same and much much more. We saw two Leaf-Scorpionfish which are very cool little scorpion fish which vaguely resemble leaves. They are very poisonous and not to be touched!! Hundreds of schooling Scale-Fin Anthias, Forcepfish and Orange-Spine Unicornfish and Regal Angelfish. The afternoon dive at Princess Bommie revealed delights not quite up to the previous standard, but I did find a lovely Flowery Cod, who just looked at me for about 10 minutes, having his photo taken. By the time everyone else had caught up, he must have felt like he was on the red carpet as everyone was flashing away. Several Cow-Faced Boxfish, Coral Beauties and Pennant Bannerfish later and that was day 2 over. This time, we both declined the offer of the night dive - especially upon hearing there was a bit of a current. How scary would that be??!! Lost at sea in the dark!

After another extremely turbulent night at sea, we were now only 3 hours away from Cairns. A rude awakening at 6am after very little sleep, meant a few of us sleepily made our way to get our wetsuits on. The sea had been so rough that our gear hadn't had chance to dry out as waves were breaking on deck throughout the night. It was cold! Luckily the sea temperature was about 24 degrees, so a half-wetsuit was enough for me. Andy did his best to look attractive by upping his insulation levels with the aid of a wetsuit material body suit which was like an old lady's bed jacket which fastened under his crotch with velcro'd gusset. Mmmm...

We were in the water by 6:15 and there was barely any sunlight. Due to our proximity with civilisation and city life, the visibility was reduced from 30metres of the previous day to around 10 metres. A few Nudibranchs and a bit of a play with the Christmas Tree Worms and this time I was glad when Andy signalled we should start our ascent. After brekkie, we did the same site again by which point there was much more light in the water and things looked more appealing. We then set sail for the final leg of the journey - back to dry land. Several hours after docking, and we were still feeling really 'boaty,' but were very relieved to get back to the camper and have a proper nights sleep!!! All-in-all the Barrier Reef was a fantastic experience. I've made many underwater friends. Maybe next time we decide to go on a liveaboard, the sea will be a bit kinder to us!

Listening to: Bic Runga - Beautiful Collision

Currently Reading: Joanne Lees - No Turning Back

Queensland

2006-10-10T03:36:00.000+01:00

A 12-hour journey by air catapulted us to Queensland where we've been exploring the wonders of Cairns... or rather trying to escape being eaten alive or stung or pecked to death. It's very tropical over this part of the country as the humidity and 30 degree temperature indicates. It's bizarre to see ancient strangler-fig trees taking up the pavements, but a welcome relief from the row-upon-row of dive-outlets and cork-hat shops. I didn't know quite what to do when I found a kangaroo-scrotum bottle opener (the real job) a few days ago. Mix in a few groups of pissed-up blokes and you have Cairns in a nutshell. That's the city itself, of course there are the beaches which we've seen little of, but were intrigued enough by "Yorkie's Knob" to go and investigate. The beaches are very nice but those yellow signs are a little intimidating. Given that the harmelss-sounding 'Stingers' actually refer to the presence of the most poisonous species known to man - the Box Jellyfish. There body may only be 30 cm across, but its tentacles go on for 2 or 3 metres. As a bloke cheerfully informed us the other day "Get stung on your upper half of your body and without medical attention, you're dead within an hour." Thank goodness there is a bottle of emergency vinegar to be found on most beaches. Now I'm sorry, but if I'm attacked by some stinging monster of the deep, I don't think a bottle of Sarson's will fo far in my reassurrance.

A couple of nights in a lovely little traveller's rest called "Dreamtime" and sushi for 3 meals out of 4 and we were ready to hit the road again. Collecting our van from the Traveller's Autobarn (mark II), we were five minuted down the roads when we realised that the lock to the driver's side didn't work. A quick dash back to the depot and a swift lock-change had us on our way. It was only that night after stuffing it full of food, that we realsied the fridge didn't work. Nice one. We had to turn into proper campers and buy an Eskie (along with ice twice a day). A short drive down some snakey beach-side roads brought us to Mossman Gorge, a pretty swimming hole in the midldle of the pristine Daintree Rainforest. A gorgeous walk though the rainforest was nothing like the gruelling climatic extremes of the Bornean versions. However, it yielded none of the amazing wildlife either, but the sound-effects were all there.

Port Douglas is a bit of a swanky place, equipped with nice bars and posh-looking restaurants and hotels. It's probably the first time either of us have felt moany about cooking and eating in the a la carte kitchen and sleeping in the van. We wondered if we stood next to a table long enough whethere someone might feel sorry for us and chuck us a chicken drumstick, but we probably look far too well-nourished for that. After a nice Andy-dinner (sausage pasta), eaten whilst watching the fruit-bats swooping above our heads around the tree opposite, we headed out. Unfortunately, the bar hosting the evenings 'live cane toad racing' had sold out of tickets, so we went to the pub instead.

In order to reach Cape Tribulation, we had to board a ferry in the camper and take the 3 minute ride across the water. Somehow we felt much safer than a similar experience crossing that river in Laos with the motorbike. A trip down the river in the "River Train" provided a kind of Harry Potter meets Crocodile Dundee moment as we cruised along and absorbed information about the dangers of Northern Queensland. Not only did this involve being handed a jar full of Box Jellyfish (is that safe procedure on a moving vehicle?) whilst croc-spotting on the banks. Now your fresh-water crocs only grow to about 2 or 3 metres, but your saltwater (esturine) variety have reached proposterous dimensions of 10 metres (in India). 37 deaths have been attributed to croc-attacks in the past 100 years - the last one being only a year ago when a man decided to take on a big feller who was getting in the way of his fishing expedition. He met a very grizzly death but his wife managed to escape. They sleep on the bottom of the river, needing only one breath of air every four hours, and slow their heart-rate to 4 or 5 bpm. They thermoregulate by basking in the sun, something they need to do less and less now the water temperature is heating up (so they are harder to see).

Box-jellyfish, on the other hand have done away with 136 people in the last 7 years and contain enough toxin to see the demise of 27 humans in one go. We spotted three crocs in all, but they all looked quite small (2-3 metres), plus a tiny baby sitting on a log. We were accompanied throughout the trip by several green Tree Frogs who were temporarily residing on the boat, some nice birds with spoon-like bills and we stopped to look at a tree-snake and a python. It was an Amethystine Python is actually the largest snake in Oz, but is non-venemous. Apparently tree-dwelling snakes are relatively safe.

Cape Tribulation is World- Heritage listed as one of the very few places in the world where the rainforest meets coral reef. A much-photographed destination, the sweeping beach has beautiful views of the surrounding rainforest and mangroves. The only bummer is that there is a 4.5 metre salt-water croc living there at the moment. We couldn't quite realx enough to lie down, so went for a walk to the lookout instead. Visitors to the surrounding jungle area have recently sighted a large male Cassowary. These prehistoric-looking birds are related to the Kiwi and are massive and ugly and pecky and so approaching one is (surprise, surprise) quite dangerous. This one in particular has been approaching people and the signs advise you to make a lot of noise and clap at it if this occurs.

As if that weren't danger enough, you have to be vigilent on checking the tide-times before you head on down to the beach. Get it wrong and you find yourself in the middle of the mangrove with the water level rising around you. So, armed with our new tide-timetable, we headed off from our jungle camp to have a look about. Any excuse to abandon the community of travellers who were entertaining themselves by swirling batons around their heads and playing crap music for all to endure (oh dear). Our look about didn't get us far as I'd had the forthought to bring a box of vino with us. Anything to get Andy to sit down as
he just kept pacing about, periodically peering into the mangrove for any snapping jaws. We drank quite an amount of wine and ended up having a row about nothing, culminating in Andy abandoning our futile game of Scrabble. Evidence the next day suggested he's had a terrible selection of vowels. Luckily, arguments have been extremely few and far between - quite fortunate when you're living in the Scooby-Doo van. Stopping by at the Daintree Ice-cream Company (we had home-made apricot, raspberry, wattle seed and coconut, mmmm!), we paused to consider the fantastic surrounding landscapes and gardens (below right).

One particular noteworthy argument took place between us and an old bag who worked at the campsite in Port Douglas. I got the inkling she was a little controlling when she insisted on directing Andy into his precise camping spot. The next morning she came round with a clip-board and asked if we were leaving. Confirming that we were, she looked at her watch and said "Just watch your time" with an artificial grimace pasted to her mental face. It was quarter to 10 and checkout of these places is usually 10, but as you would expect, it's usually quite a relaxed affair as there are no beds to make or rooms to clean. Andy was on the BBQ doing some bacon, when she swirled by five minutes later, walky-talky clipped onto shorts. "Just making brekkie is he, well, you don't have..." I cut her off saying we wouldn't be long. Anyway, we'd just sat down to what was possibly the best bacon sarnie we've ever had (toasted Turkish bread, BBQ'd proper bacon and cherry tomatoes, mayo) when she couldn't resist coming over again to gleefully inform us that "If we weren't out by 10:15 she's be charging us for another day."

What an old boot. There were many people around us who were also leaving a little after time and they didn't seem to be getting the brunt of this old witch. As we sped out of there cursing and incredulousat 10:12, heartburn roaring in our chests as we noted that there were five empty spaces and nobody waiting to check-in. How dare she interrupt the best bacon buttie of our lives??? To think we were worried about an aggressive cassowary...

Time to explore this Great Barrier Reef...

Next installment : Will Sam & Andy find any giant cod in the Cod Hole?

Currently can't read quick enough: Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Aron Ralston.

WA's Wildlife

2006-10-05T04:42:00.000+01:00

As we've been traveling around WA, we've been loving all the wildlife we've seen and have been searching it out. Five o'clock pm is now officially Roo o'clock; we scan the scrub and trees looking out for the little blighters as we drive along. They're pretty easy to spot, they're the big stupid things that jump out in front of you as you drive along. Goats, they're pretty smart, when they see a car coming they run straight back into the bush. The Kangeroo on the other hand will see you coming, think about it for a second, then start bouncing along side the road away from you, before suddenly darting straight in front of you in a bid to make the other side of the road. It's no big surprise then that you see soooo many dead ones on the roads of Oz. From a distance you see crows on the side of the road and you know they're feasting on a Roo, they're Australia's vultures. We've also seen a couple of times, massive birds, I think eagles, joining in the roadkill action too.

We've had a little checklist of wildlife that we've been wanting to see in Australia and we're gradually ticking them off. I've been desperate to see a snake, if possible a sickeningly poisonous one, not to get near it obviously, just to get a photo with my zoom lens, but so far we've just seen dead ones, four to be exact. Apart from the lack of snakes, we've been incredibly lucky to see all we've seen and last week our luck peaked when we encountered the creature we'd most wanted to see, the Thorny Devil. Since we first saw pictures of the little beast we'd been dying to see one. They're little spiky lizards that live in the bush, eating ants, drinking water through their skin, doing a weird jerky type walk and generally looking very, very cool. They're so well camouflaged that they'd be near impossible to spot on a walk about and so we needed a bit of luck on our side if we were ever going to see one. On a re-visit to Kalbarri on our way back to Perth, we decided to do a walk by a gorge that we hadn't been able to do the last time we were here. On the way there, driving along a red sandy road through the middle of the outback I'd just turned a corner and there it was, plonk straight in the middle of the road, the Thorny Devil. We were straight out of the van with our camera's and got clicking away, the little critter doing its funny little walk for us in the sand (film). I'd seen pictures of people holding them and one of an aboriginal kid with one on his head and knew they were harmless, so I was able to pick the little beast up. A bit prickly on top, but smooth underneath, I felt like a kid again holding my new pet :) Even Sam wasn't averse to holding a devil (film). I think you can see from the photo how excited I am :) It's these moments of our trip that we'll remember forever. More than the mountains, people and temples, its the wildlife we see that makes life worth living.
We still can't stop thinking about that little lizard, brilliant stuff! On the way back after the walk on the same road, I spotted a Kangeroo lying down under a tree. We were able to get really close to the Roo, which is unusual, they're shy animals, we got a bit too near and she stood up and looked at us. As she stood up we saw that she had a little joey in her pouch, so we left her to it and went on our way, what a day of animal encounters! The only 'animal' we didn't appreciate that day was the fly. In a couple of places we've been in WA, you get out the van and are immediately surrounded by flys, its absolutely mingin. We had to cut short our walk, they were so bad, we were constantly swatting them away, not nice.
Also very high on our most wanted creatures list has been the Redback spider :) These small spiders are very closely related to the infamous Black Widow spider and are therefore poisonous. However, there is Antivenom available and apparently no-one has died of a bite since the antivenom was introduced, you're also highly unlikely to get bitten unless you shove your hand in its web and start giving it a little tickle :) On one of our freebie campsites we stayed, in the toilet, in a corner we discovered the beauty. After a small argument about how to take photos using Sam's camera (she won), we got this pic where you can clearly see its red stripe. Very nice indeed and another tick on the wildlife checklist.
Just before we left Perth, we spent a very lovely afternoon at the Caversham Wildlife park, which basically houses the varied fauna of Australia in very nice conditions and also has a lot of areas where you can walk through and stroke the animals. Great for kids and us! We were seduced there by the promise of Wombat holding. Who could resist giving a cuddle to a massive furry womble type animal? Not us, so in we went, unfortunately the Wombat holding was more have half a Wombat draped across your lap with the zoo keeper and also the Wombat had quite a disturbing orifice on its front ?pouch ?bum ?other anyway this was a part of the Wombat we hadn't been expecting to get close to. Feeling a bit spun out by our close encounters of the orifice kind, we headed to the Kangeroo area where along with the rest of the kids we stroked some Roos, I wish Ruby could have been there, she would have loved it :)
Well we loved Western Australia, it surpassed our expectations in every way, the landscapes were varied and breath-taking the wildlife unforgettable and the people very friendly. We're now sitting pretty in Cairns, we pick up our Campervan tomorrow and begin our trip down the east coast. The only question now, is how much diving can we afford to do on the way down? :)

Mammoth Slideshow (not of Mammoths though)

Currently Reading: The Algebraist by Iain M Banks

Listening to: Deeper Shades of Hooj - Volume 3

Madame Cousteau Returns

2006-10-03T09:58:00.000+01:00

I dunno what happened, but I think I was hypnotised one night, as I seem to be cured of my diving phobia. As soon as we hit Coral Bay, it suddenly seemed like the right time and place to get back on with it and book a couple of trips. Coral Bay is a tiny little resort in WA which offers easy access to the world-famous Ningaloo Marine Park. The dive operator seemed professional and the reef shallow which was reassuring. I didn't feel the slightest bit nervous, even though it's obvious there are creatures fairly high up the food chain round this neck of the woods. It did appear that everything might be transpiring against my newly-found courage as the pre-dive organisation was highly annoying. I've never been able to bear all the rigmarole that goes with sighting a few fish, but this was something else. The water temperature is still a chilly 21 degrees and so this involved the procedure of sqeezing into 2 wet suits. It's an unholy nightmare getting into one suit, so you can imagine. (Like the marshmallow-into-a-slot-machine effect of forcing enormous oedematous legs into TED stockings.) The effort involved caused the skin to be sheared from my knuckles and for me to develop blisters on my fingertips! Oh, that caused a drama.

Adding to my calm demeanour was the thought of my tank-wanger. This is a ball on a piece of elastic which you put round your air-tank and it enables the wearer to attract attention. The major drawback of diving being that you can't talk. Here's Gimp-Boy putting it to another good use. If there's an upgrade to Outspan, I'll let you know.

When we got to the reef, I realised they'd given me the wrong size BCD (buoyancy control device - this is the life-jacket you wear which you inflate and deflate to keep you at the correct depth as you swim along - very important when you're trying to avoid precious coral, stonefish and stingrays buried in the sand). Then we had extreme difficulty with the strap which secures the BCD to air tank (quite important I suppose). Wearing 2 extra layers of sponge means that not only do you look like a goddess not too far removed from cat-woman status, but it makes you that much more buoyant. So loaded up with the usual paraphernalia, but with the addition of a lot of weight to my weight belt. Anyway, the make matters worse, we were all waiting to descend and I was still floating on the surface like an blow-up dolly (minimal movement from arms and legs due to extensive neoprene coverage). I had to have a few extra kilos stuffed in my pockets (making me 10kg heavier - not happy!) before I finally was at eye-level with the big Spangled Emperors circling the boat.

While I might have started the dive in a mood, my seratonin levels soon began to elevate as the dive progressed. It wasn't the greatest dive in the world in terms of things seen, but apart from quite an underwater current sweeping you along, the conditions were quite good. A shallow dive with a maximum depth of about 12 metres, we went to a cleaning station where we spotted a nice little grey reef shark and were able to follow a cool puffer fish for a while. There were 140 species of hard coral, which I enjoy, but I knew Andy would be finding a bit boring. Luckily this attractive nudibranch diverted his attention. He's strangely fascinated with these tiny sea snails which come is the most amazing colours and shapes (see black, white and yellow version below).

A short surface interval (this is the time you need for all the accumulated nitrogen to escape from your bloodstream to prevent you getting the bends) later and we were on our second dive - a site called "Lottie's Lagoon," named after a massive grouper who used to reside at the spot. Much more interesting in terms of fish species seen. Plenty of Blue-Spo tted Stingrays were hiding in the sandy bottom, a nice White-Eyed Moral Eel (who is harmless as he has rounded teeth unlike other species who have backwards-sloping razor sharp ones) and an assortment of pretty reef fish such as this White-Banded Trigger Fish (significantly less evil that the Titan variety). I missed it, but another find was a Sail-Fin Catfish, the likes of which are only found on Ningaloo. Diving is a strange mix of exhilaration and uttmost calm. You just never know what's lurking round the corner. My return to the sea was celebrated with a jug of happy hour Tooheys down the pub.

The following morning we arose early to make the most of our fun-filled day ahead. We were about to set off on a Manta Ray snorkelling trip. These beauties have a wingspan of upto 5 metres (measure it out, it's massive) and are seen year-round in the waters off Coral Bay. A spotter-plane is chartered by the dive company to get us within range of Mantas as the pilot sees them. Then we have to swim ridiculouly fast in order to catch up with the thing. Before long we were gliding over a huge 3 and a half metre giant as he swept along the sandy bottom. They are filter feeders who have no stinging barb.

Unfortunately it didn't surface for us, and the
visibility wasn't that good. Andy was told off by
the weirdo dive-woman for swimming down on
top of it to get a better photo, which frightened
it away and we were all left bobbing in the water. We both agreed it would be so much better to happen upon one during a dive, rather than race after the poor thing in a splashy shit-fight group.

We then did another dive to see just how much money you can spend over a two day period. "The Canyon" treated us to an amazing coral landscape - probably the best formations of hard

coral I've ever seen. But strangely, there were few spectacular fish in this underwater paradise. Wearing only one wetsuit I was quite warm enough and was able to control my buoyancy much better as a result. Conditions were ideal, with good visibility of upto 15 metres and our deepest was 10 metres. Yipee!! No more do I have to live my diving fantasies vicariously through Gimp Boy!

That evening, we tucked into celebratory sausage pasta and we had a nice bottle of chilled white. Given Andy's embarassing fixation with these food items, I have had to warn him that some of the areas around here are involved in Project Eden. This is a wildlife-protection scheme aimed at ridding the countryside of ferral cats and foxes who seem to be destoying other fauna. Cunningly, traps set with sausages and 1080 poison have been set, which is toxic to humans aswell as beasties. At the height of his sausage-troffing addiction, he's been warned. Seems that it's not just sausages the cats are enjoying round these parts. An alarming array of kangaroo meat is available in the frozen section for the domesticated populations!

Four days is the longest we've spent in any one place since arriving in Oz. It was nice to just chill out - the beach was very pretty with (cold) snorkelling and gale-force wind. We lolled on the beach and played Travel Scrabble. Annoyingly, Andy has quickly graduated from hating the game and coming up with 3-letter wonders to winning 9 games in a row - two of which saw him using all 7 letters (for that wonderous 50-point bonus). Travelling is supposed to denude your braincells. Not so for AJM, who's now producing things like P-R-O-T-E-G-E-S. We're so competitive, you wouldn't believe...

As we've sadly missed Whale Shark season (very upsetting), we didn't go any further North to Exmouth as was our original plan. Instead, we slowly meandered back down to Perth, revisiting some of our favourite spots. This has provided me with an opportunity to catch up on celebrity gossip. Andy made me buy Hello magazine the other day and what a read. Not only do we learn that Brittney has produced another child quick as a flash, but Anna-Nicole Smith's 20 year old son died mysteriously in his sleep whilst visiting his newly born step-sister. Bizarrely, I was comforted to see Elizabeth Taylor fulfilling a life-long ambition to snorkel with Great Whites in a cage. If Liz can do it at 74, there's hope for us yet.

If you want to see a film of Underwater Sam, click here.

If you want to see a Lovely Pufferfish video, click here.

If you want to cruise with a Nice Angelfish, click here.

Currently reading: The Shark Net by Robert Drewe

Currently Watching: Nighty Night Series 1.
Written & Starring the utterly brilliant, Julia Davis.

Sharks, Dolphins and more Sharks

2006-09-26T05:48:00.000+01:00

Each new area of WA we drive through brings us new and more gorgeous surrounds. Kalbarri is a national park just north of Geraldton and just when you thought the coastlines couldn't get any better, they do. After seeing our first Roo's (see last blog) we sat on the edge of the cliffs gazing at the coastal cliffs as the sun was setting. The cliff colours were all the shades of red and orange that you would find in any good art shop as well as a beautiful range of blues in the sea crashing away at the foot of the cliffs and a rather marvelous selection of pinks and blues lighting up the sky as the sun went down. We took ages finding a camp site as every 2-3 k we were having to stop and have another look at the scenery, the Ozzies are very good at sign posting scenic views, they even have camera signs and laybys so you can stop and take a pic.
We ended up at the Red bluff caravan park and spent a couple of nights there as we explored the local sights. One of these sights was 'Natures Window' which was situated about 30 k inland in the Kalbarri national park proper. We had to drive down an unsealed red dust road for about 27 k just to get there, bumping and rattling the whole way, I was sure something was going to come a cropper, but we made it ok. The drive along the dust track was pretty uninspiring in terms of scenery, just outback bush and very flat, but when we got to our destination we discovered that there was a huge gorge and river cutting through the barren wilderness.
We had originally planned to do a walk, but as always we'd arrived late, so had a short one instead, taking in the now repetitively unbelievable scenery that we have come to associate with WA. Natures Window itself is a hole in a rock, you've guessed it, that looks like a window. The view through the window looks out onto part of the gorge and we took the obligatory photos and were on our way again. Its a hard life all this driving, scenery viewing, wildlife watching type action, but we're yet again putting on brave faces and struggling on.

Not being able to take any more of the unreal landscapes of Kalbarri, we headed north again, this time with Shark Bay our destination. Unfortunately for us, Shark Bay proved to be just as beautiful in its own way as Kalbarri and we were obliged to spend another few days there roving about in the camper. It just happens to be a World Heritage site and fulfills all four criteria meaning that it's an area of outstanding natural beauty, has endangered species living there, unique habitats, ancient fossil stone things, yadda, yadda, yadda. All this boiled down to making it a jolly pleasant place to spend some time. The whole peninsula of Shark Bay is a Marine park and is filled to bursting with sharks, Loggerhead turtles (endangered), dugons (endangered), whales, dolphins and alsorts of other critters. First up was a visit to the Ocean Park Aquarium which is a family run place with the aim of creating a naturally run aquarium. Its all open air and in the middle of the small site is a great big pond full of sharks. They feed the sharks (as you can see) by dangling half a fish in the water, so enticing them up to the surface for us to see. The really nice thing about this place was that there was hardly anyone else there and you got a personal tour around by one of the family. They also had a couple of baby loggerhead turtles that had been rescued, very cute and also a sea snake, which we were able to have a stroke of, insanely poisonous, but very docile creatures. Having had enough of sharks we headed for Eagle's Bluff, where you can stand on the cliffs looking down onto the bay and in the shallow waters at the foot of the cliffs you can see......Sharks! :) What an amazing place, to be able to see sharks, turtles, rays and dugons from the cliff top, how cool is that? Also flying about were some ?eagles (need Chris or Tina to confirm), some kind of bird of prey anyway, they looked very majestic sweeping around and over the cliff face.
Shark bay gets its name for obvious reasons, there's tons of sharks everywhere, not only lots of harmless reef sharks, but also lots of quite dangerous Tiger sharks, so when I asked the shark man at Ocean Park if it was ok to snorkel in the bay, he said we should wait until we got to Coral Bay up the coast. He said he'd snorkeled with Tiger sharks in his youth, they're very big, inquisitive and will eat anything, so best avoided, which I thought was quite sensible advice :) See if you'd fancy snorkeling with a Tiger shark.
Among the bays less scary inhabitants are bottle nose dolphins. In a tiny little place called Monkey Mia is a beach where for about 30 years wild dolphins have been coming regular as clockwork to get a free feed. Going to feed the dolphins is not as brilliant as it may sound however, as the circus that surrounds it, turns it into one massive shitfight. There must have been getting on for a hundred people trying to get a look at the dolphins, which was way too many for us, so after a few photos, we turned our attention to the Pelicans strutting around the beach, who were much more interesting. I'm pretty sure we do take an interest in things that don't involve wildlife on this trip, but I'm struggling to remember what now.
On our way out of Shark Bay, we dropped into have a look at Shell beach, a beach where the 'sand' is actually billions of tiny shells. Very white and crunchy and cool looking. We walked about in the baking heat for a while before heading to have a nose around the Stromatolites. These are basically living fossils that have been there for millions of years and are one of the features of Shark Bay that gives it its World Heritage status. Unfortunately, they're incredibly dull and not even interesting to look at.
We were about to leave the area, trip to see rock formations wasted, when we spied the most disgusting spider we've ever seen. We'd been looking forward to seeing some kind of giant / poisonous spider in Oz, as it's supposed to be riddled with nasty critters, when we came upon the Golden Orb spider. I don't think its poisonous, but it's pretty big and what it may lack in poison its makes up with all round mingingness in abundance. The egg shaped part of its body is easily the size of a Cadburys cream egg, no joke and I'm betting a lot less tasty!

More photo's from Kalbarri and Shark Bay

Next time on the Andy and Sam blog: Will Sam ever dive again?

Listening to: The Pixies - Dolittle

Blog of Beige...Werthers and Sand

2006-09-17T03:47:00.000+01:00

Thank goodness for Werther's Original. No longer under the watchful eye of Auntie Heidi (invented purely for aspiration), we got into the habit of buying "driving sweets" quite early on and now we are hopelessly addicted to those creamy toffee delights which claim to be ancient but were only invented in about 1997. They've seen us through many episodes of getting lost and soothe the side of my brain which I'm not used to using - ie. the one which reads maps. Oh, it's so difficult and the map we have is most inadequate for our complex needs. As the passenger, I have a lot to be doing as it is. I have to decide where we're going/staying/wearing/eating/spending. I also have to check the Werther's level every morning while Andy checks the van's oil and water. It's not my fault though, as the other side of my brain is positively hypertrophied, so there has to be some sort of recompense. Would I rather be able to read maps or make Fimo models which vaguely resemble people I know and shove them on top of cakes? I certainly know which is more useful in everyday life.

Unfortunately, our saving money campaign is not going well. The further up the Western coast we trundle, the more frequently we encounter "no camping" signs. Our second departure from Perth found us in Lancelin, a place famous for its sand dunes and surf. You can either hire quad bikes or take a ride on "Big Foot," an old school bus adapted with massive wheels to spin you around all over the dunes. Being firmly in budget territory now, we just had a walk about and tried not to get too overheated. Being in the mood for a lot of sand, we then drove to Cervantes, the small town near to the Pinnacles Desert. A lol about for a couple of hours on Cervantes beach (the temperature's about 10 degrees hotter than when we arrived in Oz 2 weeks ago!)

The Pinnacles are formed as a result of glacial changes which began 3.5 million years ago, exposing a massive chunk of the sea bed which is rich in calcium carbonate (limestone). Rainwater dissolves the CaCO3 (see, "Chemistry Matters" - Mr. Mounter was right afterall) and distributes it throughout the surrounding sand dunes. The sand then smothers the vegetation which then rots and becomes petrified, thus forming The Pinnacles. These limestone points are then exposed as a result of weathering and wind, resulting in the formations visible today.

What all that means is that they look very cool, especially when you visit them at dusk, as we did. Present in their thousands, they cast ominous shadows across the desert, which looks kind of eerie and haunting. Some of them appear in the most unusual of shapes as Andy discovered. Well I thought it might be the perfect spot to do a music video. I was unable at this time, to get Andy to join in. The cool thing was you could drive your van around the main bits, to save you from the ravages of the desert.

We pushed onto Jurien Bay just after nightfall. We seem to be the only people who arrive at caravan parks after hours and have to get the owners to come out especailly to book us in. Don't get me wrong, the facilities are fantastic. The showers are very hot and powerful and the loos are spotlessly clean (I can't tell you what a vision that is after 7 long months of trepidation re: toileting), but I don't really want to spend all day in one. At least that's what I thought until we reached Jurien Bay Tourist Park. Apart from all the usual finds (communal BBQ area, kitchen, scary woman-behind-the-desk), they have a "Jumping Pillow!" Imagine a massive pillow (the biggest in WA, might I add), inflated with air to create something between a trampolene and a bouncy castle and you're only part-way there. What a creation! When I finally pulled Andy onto it, we had a magnificent half hour work-out, which had the children standing round staring at us. Before long Andy was doing sommersaults and double pikes and all kinds.

On account of my toilet key not working, I had cause to sneak into the Mens facilities a couple of times during the night. Next morning when I was checking out, the owner said to me sternly "Are you the one who's been sneaking into the Men's toilets?" How embarrassing! Mysteriously, when I tried my key that morning, it worked fine. "Oh, I just like to have a look!" were the words which came out of my mouth and he gave me a knowing nod. They're probably busy circulating my photograph to all caravan parks up and down the coast.

It's a bit of a bummer that the sea is still very cold. We're in places of wonderful marine life, but at the moment, there's no way you could spend too long in the water without a wetsuit. There are sea-lion colonies dotted around the coast and the opportunity to go on snorkelling trips with them. A quick browse through a conservation leaflet was a little discouraging however. It warned of the sometimes volatile nature of sea-lions and how they can inflict terrible injuries (I think the males weigh upto 200kg). And obviously, anywhere you find seals and the like, you will find a tapas-seeking shark. This is without the added danger of box-jellyfish, seasnakes, stonefish... Oh, the drama of it all. On the local news here, there was a report of stingrays being found with their tails cut off and were now investigationg the possiblity of revenge-attacks after the loss of Our Steve.

A drive through the tiny town of Greenhead brought us to Dongara - Port Denison. A gorgeous day for it, we bought a few snags and steaks and whacked them on the barbie! All the communal parks have gas BBQs thrown in for free to accommodate your beautiful view out to sea. Seemed rude to not mark our first barbie with a nice bottle of wine (Houghten 2005 White Burgundy from the Swan River and Nannup regions of WA -V.V. good for $10.99). Getting very into this wine lark but it was a pity Andy was driving, as I had to indulge alone. This afternoon tipple enboldened me somewhat and I decided it was time for a dip. At knee-level something with pincers had a go at my foot, so I was out of that sea sharpish.

Geraldton was to be our next port of call and overnight stop. The drive along the way shows the incredible Leaning Trees, deformed by the prevailing Southerly winds. Geraldton is the biggest place between Perth and Exmouth and it was here that I managed to get in to waist height before a massive wave came and scared me. Suffice to say Andy didn't even make it onto the sand - he was sat comfortably by the van on his little camping chair, keeping watch over our little abode. We're loving the van!! It's so nice to be able to load up the camper rather than lugging everything you own about on your back and the horrors of daily packing and unpacking. Our condiment collection is growing, we have learnt to wash up in three millimetres of water, and you can just whip out the chairs when you find somewhere nice to stop. It affords us a much better nights sleep than we're used to (no changing beds every 2 or 3 days and no cheap clippy-cloppy sandals reverberating through resonant corridors all night long). We have everything we need and despite the limited capacity, we could still swing a spider if it dared cross the step. Thanks to Mazza though, I now have the perfect spider-deterrent...Horse Chestnuts. Apparently they hate the smell. Mazza we miss you.

Kalbarri was our next destination (is anyone else tired?). We have clocked up some
3,000km already! Arriving just before sunset allowed us a taster of the fantastically rugged coastal scenery. The setting sun shone against the magnificent rock faces warming them to a gorgeous orange (or "Burnt Sienna" if you're Bruce). There we were looking at all the products of the forces of nature, when right next to us a family of roos decided to check us out. At last! We got our 'roo shots. How nice was it too see them full of life when all we'd seen for the last 300km roadkill versions. Apparently you're supposed to check the pouches of the dead ones in case there's a little joey in there...

Dance Hamble, Dance!

Listening to: Backini - Threads - Genius!

Currently Reading: The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks