Vang Vieng

Vang Vieng is a crazy little place, about 4 hours North of Vientiane. I'm wondering how it all happened, and reckon a group of backpackers came here maybe 10 years ago, to enjoy the wonderous scenery and fantastic caves and mountains. Then I think word got around a bit and after a while came the Loney Planet validation sticker. Then a bunch of entrepreneurial locals thought about what travellers wanted from a trip to Laos, a place not frequented by your average Brit abroad. This was the award-winning formula they came up with. This is what they believed that every future traveller coming to Laos wanted:

1. Pizza, burgers, pancakes and shakes.
2. Making use of local produce, a "happy" version of all of the above, to contain either magic mushrooms, ganja, or opium.
3. The same menu in every restaurant.
4. "Friends" showing in every TV bar along the main drag.
5. 20 different tour operators offering exactly the same tour for exactly the same price.
6. For those weirdos not wanting mind-bending herbs and vegetables in their dinner, we would want to "get wasted" utilising ethanol-based products. On offer everywhere are buckets (yes, buckets) of booze. Namely, Tiger whiskey, coke and a dubious-looking energy drink resembling Benylin. And all for a quid!! Much more reasonable than our favourite cocktail bar at "Drakes" back home.
7. Lots of water-based adventures such as kayaking, jumping off rocks and flowing down river in a tractor tyre (a.k.a. tubing)

So, Vang Vieng it seems, is full of cheeky youngsters who are porking out a bit; are a bit paranoid about being so; think they've seen this menu before, not that they remember where; wish they could be just like Joey; really want to go tubing again tomorrow, but this time high on a Benylin Bomber. Still, we aren't too old for this type of thing and think we are going to quite enjoy ourselves here. The view from our $8 room is amazing (thanks Rob & Faye for the tip - we are staying at The Orchid, see view below) and Andy has made friends with three small children who only seem to want to know him for his PlayStation Portable (they've never seen one and can't quite believe their eyes!).

Tomorrow we are going to have a bash at this tubing lark and maybe even partake in a bottle of Beer Lao along the way! We have made a new discovery - that of Beer Lao Dark. It has a lovely taste of treacle toffee and is 6.5% I think the next stop is Special Brew isn't it? Still sounds safer that a Benylin Bomber (my name, not theirs)...and just when we thought it was safe, snakes have started turning in bottles again. Snake whisky anyone? Make mine a double and lets show these youngsters how it's done.





Very tiny 6 second Sam 'Tubing' film

So there you have it - we can join in with the youngsters AND genuinely enjoy ourselves in the process. Dotted along the riverside as you float by on your tube, there are several little bars. More like bamboo platforms, from which to jump or cable-glide. By the way, I'm not as drunk as I look in the photo there. After a couple of Beer Laos a.k.a. "the full taste of happiness" at one of the bars, we set off on our way again. But it started to pour with rain - an increasngly common occurrance as we head into the rainy season. So we did the sensible thing and stayed for another beer. Once the downpour had susbsided, off we went on our merry little journey. Fearing the day would be spoiled by Tenerife-style lager boys, it was actually very chilled out and a great way to spend the day. Then Andy lost his sunglasses (his 4th pair so far?) All I did was mention "river snakes" (thanks Bison) and he thought he felt one tickling his bottom. The leaping and jerking motion he displayed to frighten the mystical creature was all it took for his shades to sink to the depths. Oh how I laughed.

This particular debarcle however, had further consequences. We lost the rest of the group and we pathetically dribbled along at a very slow speed. Being the dry season, there are no rapids to speak of and sometimes you get a bit wedged on a rock. You often have to paddle a bit with your arms and legs, which Andy kept reminding me, I looked very graceful doing. As for turning yourself over onto your front, I won't go into that. It was a beautiful way to enjoy the mountains and now that we'd lost everyone else, much more peaceful. We merrily floated on by a couple of sign advertising "tubing stop." "Oh no," we thought "No more beer for us, we need to be getting back before dark!" Contemplating how useful it was to be travelling with so many more years life experience than many other travellers, I suddenly started to wonder why our river journey had taken 7 hours, when it should have taken 3 or 4. After all, we'd only stopped once, for about an hour, yet we hadn't seen another tube for ages. Andy shouted upto a woman standing on a bridge above us to ask where Vang Vieng was. She pointed in the opposite direction to flow, with a bemused expression on her face. So we clamboured out of the river and ended up in the garden of some posh hotel, much to the bewilderment of the groundsman. He kindly phoned a tuc tuc for us, which promptly returned us to Vang Vieng. Turns out we'd paddled at least an extra couple of km - who knows where we might have ended up - Thailand possibly?

So Vang Vieng is a great example of the devastataion tourism can wreak on a beautiful, peaceful town. Check out the menu above. There are about 18,000 kip to the pound - it's easy to see why this place appeals to your average gap-year student. The Organic Farm is one place which gets the thumbs up by producing fair-trade mulberry tea, gorgeous Laotion coffee and other conscience-easing treats. The cafe does a fantastic mulberry shake and a brilliant harvest stew, for anyone planning a visit! Our adventure-seeking plans to go kayaking today were ruined by the weather. It's now rained for 48 hours almost non-stop. Instead, we jumped on a bike and drove around the town a bit. We found a very scary cave with no lighting and some more beautiful mountain scenery. Tomorrow we are leaving for Luang Prabang for a spot of much needed culture!