When Macaques Attack

Bako is the oldest of Borneo's National Parks. Estimates are that Malaysian jungles have existed for 100 million years as they were relatively unaffected by the Ice-Age. It covers 27sq km and offers the most diverse and plentiful array of fauna & flora. It was high time the intrepid pair got back to nature after so much city-living. We were beginning to loose our survival skills and revert to the softies we once were. Armed only with DEET, a bar of soap and Su Doku we headed out for territory unknown. The park is reached by bus and then boat and is only an hour and a half from Kuching and the journey displays the sheer amount of jungle which can be found only a short distance from the city.

The South China sea frames one side of Bako and the famous Dinosaur Rock let us know we'd reached our destination. It looked very picturesque with the dipterocarp jungle canopy providing a dramatic backdrop to the small wooden chalets, with the beach in the foreground. Wild long-tailed macaques run about the park headquarters and swing from the trees making the occasional uninvited appearance on your balcony. How cute we thought - how wrong could we be? But more about that later.

Several walking trails are marked out through the rainforest. The first we tried was a 4 hour round trek to the beach, Telok Pandan Kecil. Our primary aim for going to Bako was to attempt to see the rare proboscis monkey in the wild. Borneo is the only place in the world where they are found but their numbers are dwindling. Fingers crossed and off we went. Amazingly, after ten mintues, we saw a blur of something in the trees ahead.

From a sheltered viewpoint, we had a fantastic view of this huge male proboscis monkey. Sat quite happily in the tree, he was feasting upon young leaves. Only the males posses this amazing hooter which flobbers about when they eat or move. Apparently the bigger the nose, the more attractive they are to females (sound familiar?). The ladies on the other hand, have a small upturned nose which brings to mind a certain Kevin Bacon appearance. The babies also have these noses and their faces are blue, remaining so until they are around a year old. The call of the male sounds quite like he's saying "Ah Oh!" as if he knows he's going to get into trouble from the missus after spending too long out and about.

Being jungle and everything, I suppose I should mention the plant-life. We found these interesting carnivorous pitcher plants right in the depths of it all. They are filled with a sweet nectar which attracts insects - here is an ant about to meet its destiny. Once inside, the insects are digested and supplement the plants' nutrition. Nice way to go! Borneo is also the home of the infamous Rafflesia flower. For those of us who love a superlative, this is the largest flower
in the world. It only flowers for 5 days of its life and during this time it might look beautiful, but it stinks of rotting flesh! It is seen most frequently in the nearby Gunung Gading National Park but we saw this specimen at Singapore Zoo. After sternly warning Andy not to touch it, we realised it was actually plastic, but looks just like the real thing. The area is also rich in kerrangas, a type of plant community which grows on the sandstone plateau which provides the skeleton of Bako National Park.

The rest of the trail was hot and sweaty (humidity here is 80-100% for those of you moaning about the British heatwave) and we were soaked within half an hour. The diversity of the rainforest was quite different to that seen in Laos and one minute you're in the middle of a mangrove, the next dense foliage, and then dry open scubland. Making things even more beautiful is the presence of huge rock formations and boulders and of course, beaches. After 2 hours of sweating it out, we could hear the welcome sound of the sea. After a precipitous descent, we landed on a deserted beautiful beach. Throwing cultural sensitivity to one side along with my bikini, I ran butt naked into the sea. He wasn't very happy about it, but Andrew did likewise and we happily splashed about until we remembered there were jellyfish in the South China. So we explored instead the surrounding rockpools and met some funny little fellers called Mudskippers. Sort of a fish/frog hybrid - quite cute as slimey things go. On our return back to the lodge, we met some lovely silver leaf langur monkeys sitting happily in the trees nearby. So-called because they eat leaves and are silver in colour (crafty).

After a surprisingly tasty school canteen supper (there is only one dining option in the park) of fish-head curry, we encountered a bearded pig on our return to camp. He was investigating the BBQ next door and was happily snuffling about in the dirt. Very cute at first, Mr. Pig became a bit disgruntled with me taking his photo, so we legged it. By 9pm we were snuggled down in our damp, mouldy, smelly chalet. The nylon sheets made it rather hot and did nothing to help me forget where I was. We managed about 3 hours sleep and dragged ourselves out early for the days exertions. Planning to do the 4 hour trail of Jalan Lintang before lunch in the hope of seeing abundant wildlife, we felt luck was on our side.

This feeling didn't last long. The boardwalks leading from the park headquarters were full of macaques (the cute ones I was on about?). At very close range we began taking their photos but it wasn't long before the alpha male decided against this. He bared his teeth and hissed at us while starting as if to attack. He was only protecting the babies who were helping with the mornings grooming, but he wouldn't even let us past. A kindly Dutch man had to fend him off with a branch and eventually we got past them, but it wasn't a promising start to the day!

The jungle landscape was as diverse and interesting as the previous day and after some time, we happened upon another family of macaques. Andy had a theory that it was only the ones around the park headquarters that would be aggressive as they are used to humans (how does that work?), but he was soon to be proved wrong. Not to be put off by the morning's excitement, the filming of antics commenced. This brilliant snippet of film was taken seconds before the attack - if only we'd kept the camera rolling... The bit you missed was the bit where we were set upon by the entire primate population of Sarawak. We were forced to arm ourselves with huge sticks in order to pass through the forest. The rabid little fellers were ready for unprovoked mutiny and it is because of them that we came to be lost in the jungle.

After running for our lives, we found ourselves in a mangrove (luckily the tide was out). Previously, the route had been well-marked with dabs of paint on the odd tree here and there (each route is colour-coded) but suddenly there were no red blobs - only blue. We splodged around for a while attempting different route through the mangrove, but as we neared the shore, things just got wetter and more difficult to cross. Eventually as my body continued to move, my feet did not, culminating in a dramatic collapse in the mud. Thing was, I was totally stuck!! I couldn't get my feet out in order to move so I had to wait for Andy to wade in for the rescue. I had visions of ending my days there with only the hermit crabs and leeches for company. As I was hauled to my feet, I looked less than glamorous but this was not my concern. We were still lost in the jungle. If we followed the blue trail, we didn't know how far this would be or where it might lead. The only thing to do was to head Ray Mears and re-trace our steps. It may seem obvious but we didn't want to go back to monkey-land if we could help it.

Before long, we picked up the red trail once again. It had all been the fault of those pesky monkeys!! Had we not been so terrified and in such a hurry, we might have spotted the turning which was quite clearly signposted. Relieved, we continued the journey and of course began to find our incident hilarious. Lunch was gratefully received and we were so exhausted after all the eccitement, we forfitted another trek (well, you can push yourself too far) for some hard-care proboscis-spotting. This time, we had to wait a while but after half an hour or so, a harem of more than 20 of them came running along the beach. It was really amazing to see them in their true natural habitat and its fantastic that much seems to be done to preserve what remains of the fauna and flora. We've loved our mini-adventure and being that close to nature is very good for the soul. Now where are the shops - I'm totally out of moisturiser.