Squeaky Clean

There seems to be a recurring request from several people to clarify the inner workings of the toilet systems. That's what happens when all your friends are nurses (or Bruce). O.K. here it is, step-by-step:

1. You sit down. The toilet seat will already be lovely and toasty, but you can adjust the temperature to suit individual requirements. I forgot to mention that the seat lid will rise automatically when you approach - how cool is that?

2. If you are a noisy toilet-goer, you can press a button which mimics the flushing noise (to spare any blushes).

3. When you are ready, you then choose temperature, force and type of water jet. There is a more general bidet-effect or you can elect for the one-jet wonder (a surprisingly accurate device). This can continue for as long as you like (just press the stop button when ready). I should point out here that it is a separate water source from the cistern. Eremi tells me that the forceful jet can be adopted as a form of enema for desperate times.

4. Once done, you can then choose the drying setting (again, for as long as you like, depending on surface area). I can confirm there is no finite point for this particular function.

5. As you stand, the toilet will flush automatically. There is a button for "powerful deodoriser," (never tried this function).

6. There is often hands-free soap and water dispensing to complete the experience (Heidi & Dad, this toilet was made for you). You emerge as if you have just spent an afternoon down the Treatment Rooms; relaxed, calm, refreshed, confident and ready for anything.

I think you will all agree, there is room in everyone's life for one of these toilets. I might have to import the concept. Hopefully, the photos will further clarify the situation...